Coco wants me to become more jolly. I can try. Ho Ho Ho, and a bottle of rum. You may think im being sarcastic, I am not. Ho Ho Ho, and a bottle of gin.....I like it...

Are you out there Paula? Can I have a tactical breakdown of West Brom.?, or the latest goings on at EastEnders? I take it you are from the black country, my partner was from Holly Lane Smethwick. It used to be english when she was a girl. Cambridgeshire has been an eye opener for her, she would not want to live anywhere else.

Living in Birmingham is like living in hell. As they say about hell, all you have to do is walk out. Im only teasing paula, it might be well to say something for cocos sake. As for being jolly, I am clapping my hands and jumping up and down.

That doesn't come over well on the internet. Any suggestions as how to be jolly will be gratefully received. Remember, I am a Cambridge fan, we all suffer from depression, post traumatic stress disorder, hives, restless legs, shaking, anxiety, low self esteem and diarrhhoea.

This is before we go to a game, its worse after.

Oh and dandruff. When I stopped going, all those things disappeared, my suicidal tendencies evaporated.

A lesson in there somewhere.

Polly, of Cottenham.