O/T Joke of the day

[gru]

Wife said to me do you still love me... I said give me a chance I'm only on my eighth can! Kids today don't know how well off they are. I was orphaned at a young age & raised by a pack of hyenas... No toys, no posh house, facing starvation scouring for food, but boy didn't we have some laughs!

[Brin]

Wife said to me do you still love me... I said give me a chance I'm only on my eighth can! Kids today don't know how well off they are. I was orphaned at a young age & raised by a pack of hyenas... No toys, no posh house, facing starvation scouring for food, but boy didn't we have some laughs!

....love it.

[Brin]

Come across this lot and not laughed as much for ages. Sadly some names are no longer with us but they contributed just like the good old times.

Anyone easily offended, well you're too late by the time you've read my message if you started at the beginning

[Ericsladkilnhurst]

Daft-paper -

Reported singer Mart Pellow, diagnosed with Arthritis.

He told reporters -

" I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes ".

[Nardendee]

So I went to the Doctors and told him every time I opened my bowels in comes out as chips. Doctor reckons I ought to try lifting my string vest a bit higher.

Daughter used to be engaged to an Eskimo….but she broke it off.

Paddy goes in for an interview on a building site.
Foreman asks him if he can brew tea……and then asked if he could drive a stacker truck. “ How big is the bloody teapot?” Paddy asked.
Foreman then says “have you worked on a building site before?” “Yes - but I chinned the foreman”. Why did you do that? Well I fell off the roof and the xxxxxxxx clocked me off before I hit the ground.

[Ronners]

I was at a party with my wife....
“That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?” she asked.
“Why should it?” I answered, “I keep telling them it’s for you.”

[Ronners]

I used to have a loving family, a nice house and good car until I got involved with drugs.

Now I have an island and a yacht.

[Ronners]

Obsessed with breaking the World Record, my mate Clive managed to stay underwater for 45 minutes.

Once

[gru]

I haven't sold a single copy of my autobiography... that's the story of my life! 😁

I'm unlucky in love... I once dated a blind girl who said she was seeing someone else 🤣

[Thesilentman]

My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with America sitcoms!
Happy Days!