I know the feeling my good fellow.
Countess DJ dabbled in the cooking arts a while back and managed to burn water. Naturally she's been banished from the kitchen and Irene the Hairy Kazakh has taken charge. She's a fine wench and is up for the odd back scuttle when she's knocking up a crème brulé and is quite the nymph when I cover myself in treacle. Many's the time I've filled her chops with man goo over a plum duff.
I suggest you get a Latvian wench in to take over and send your good Lady on a bricklaying or plastering course, it'll keep her occupied and save you money in the long run my compadre.
Holidays soon, any preferences? abroad,Drinks on the plane, drinks on the transfer, drinks in the hotel, fighting in the street, throwing chairs at an unsuspecting dago, murdering the odd illegal, raping various rabid looking feral cats.
I don't know what I'll do on day two!
Returned yesterday from a few days in Cornwall.
With the weather changeable we decided to stay on site at the spa and while the kids went to the gym I went dogging, eventually finding a pub, the Sheep and Smuggler.
They sold Rattler, Cornish cider, which comes in about 15 different fruity flavours, so I obviously had to try a pint of each.
Devon and Cornwall police found me at around midnight hanging out of the back of a labradoodle called Florence, reciting Henry V and with the cross of St. George carved onto my chest with a broken glass.
I love going on holiday!
I have it on good authority that the New Forest Hampshire does some delightful Dogging activities .
The top Dog Ethel Rose O'Shea starts the new entrants off with Banoffee pie smothered around the rectal entrance.
Then Garry Glitterballs takes your swollen genitals and T Bags you whilst a randy member of the Royal Family masturbates furiously for your pleasure.
Enjoy Daggers
Ps.
Have just destroyed my Pantaloons!