Audio of Laffy telling his associates of his plans for Brunton Park, late autumn 2014

[_Stefan_Kuntz]

https://tinyurl.com/eyfat59v

[griff]

Heh. And it would have worked if it wasn’t for them pesky horsemen.

[cayambe]

I knew I shouldn't have omitted to post Friday Humour last week.

[_Stefan_Kuntz]

This is the text, verbatim, from the audio :-
"..... and the final item on the agenda is Brunton Park.

I shall soon own Brunton Park, you will be wondering how. Without going into the minutiae of the entire matter let's just say that tomorrow morning several people will wake up and find a horse's head on their pillows.

My plans for the whole area of Brunton Park are to put a new category of dwelling on it. These houses will be built such that their ground floor is the hull of a boat with steps on the outside up to the first floor which is where the accommodation begins. The hull will be held in place by metal stays which can be tossed off, so to speak, when a flood occurs. Then these houses will float freely around Brunton Park. They will have solid rubber bumpers around the whole vessel in order to be able to play aquatic dodge-ems. There will be no motors in these vessels, the aim is to be environmentally friendly.

I shall own Brunton Park and these houses boats. They will be only for long term rental punters. Gentlemen, there is something in this for each of you. Being green the only power and steering will be by sails and these will be provided by Mr Green. The rubber bumpers of these dwellings will be provided by Mr Durex. Each vessel will have a small boat in order to easily go along the shallow Warwick Road and get weekly provisions at the nearest open supermarket.

I shall need 4 Rovers, provided by Mr Q. By Rovers I do not mean 4 badly designed, unreliable cars I mean Rovers as in Patrick McGoohan's The Prisoner. This is in order to terminate any attempt by dwellers to escape my jurisdiction by sailing their homes over to the River Petteril and be long gone with my property. The Rovers will chase the would be thieves along the Petteril and execute justice .......... and I do mean execute.

Nobody must reveal these plans to that Piglet t­wat, on pain .............. and I do mean pain of being Rovered.

I commend these measures to the grouse".