My wife says she has 14 good reasons why she should leave me plus my obsession for tennis.. I said that's 15 love.
My wife said if the kids don't eat the tacos throw them out..I did..Now I'm still stuck with the tacos.
Scotsman, Irishman and a Welshman walk into a bar.......there would usually be an Englishman in this story, but he's still at the World Cup!
An officer sees a man exit a pub at closing time and get into his car. After observing some erratic driving, he pulls the man over.
The officer asks the driver, “Where are you going at this time of night?” The man replies, “I’m on my way to attend a lecture about alcohol abuse and its effects on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late.” The officer asks, “Who would give that kind of lecture at this time of night?” The man says, “My wife.”