O/T I've done some daft things in my time

[Brin]

...but this is surely is one of the daftest ever

I've just visited my lovely Mum who sadly, is back in RDGH. Whilst sat with her I asked what the water and white sediment was in her plastic cup. She told me it was a laxative mixture. Anyway suffice to say we sat chatting for some time.

I had already placed my Costa drink on her table so easy to reach. Having been there a couple of hours and feeling the heat on the ward, I was feeling rather parched. Without thinking I just naturally picked up the nearest plastic cup filled with water in order to quench my first.

I was halfway down the drink when my Mum shouted out to stop! I asked what was wrong then she told me I'd drunk her Picolax laxative drink. Now for anyone who has ever drank Picolax, you'll know it has a swift outcome. I gave my Mum a kiss goodbye on the forehead and beat a hasty retreat to my car.

I drove home, albeit over the speed limit, as I could feel something happening. I parked the car up got in the house and made a Usain Bolt dash to the bathroom.....and I just made it in time!

There's daft and downright silly and this has to be at the top of my all time mishaps, funny I know as my Wife, Daughter and Sister have laughed and laughed at my predicament. Have to agree I'm broadly smiling whilst I type this up

Anyone else got any daft stories/predicaments they can relate to?

[howdydoo]

...but this is surely is one of the daftest ever

I've just visited my lovely Mum who sadly, is back in RDGH. Whilst sat with her I asked what the water and white sediment was in her plastic cup. She told me it was a laxative mixture. Anyway suffice to say we sat chatting for some time.

I had already placed my Costa drink on her table so easy to reach. Having been there a couple of hours and feeling the heat on the ward, I was feeling rather parched. Without thinking I just naturally picked up the nearest plastic cup filled with water in order to quench my first.

I was halfway down the drink when my Mum shouted out to stop! I asked what was wrong then she told me I'd drunk her Picolax laxative drink. Now for anyone who has ever drank Picolax, you'll know it has a swift outcome. I gave my Mum a kiss goodbye on the forehead and beat a hasty retreat to my car.

I drove home, albeit over the speed limit, as I could feel something happening. I parked the car up got in the house and made a Usain Bolt dash to the bathroom.....and I just made it in time!

There's daft and downright silly and this has to be at the top of my all time mishaps, funny I know as my Wife, Daughter and Sister have laughed and laughed at my predicament. Have to agree I'm broadly smiling whilst I type this up

Anyone else got any daft stories/predicaments they can relate to?

Stay close to the bathroom. The suffering could go on all day.

You are full of shyte, after all.

[rileyev.the.third]

I once ran for a bus and as I got along side the driver pulled away. People on the bus were looking and smirking so I just sped up, ran past the bus to make it look like I wasn't even trying to catch it.

[Brin]

Stay close to the bathroom. The suffering could go on all day.

You are full of shyte, after all.

Love you too

[Brin]

I once ran for a bus and as I got along side the driver pulled away. People on the bus were looking and smirking so I just sped up, ran past the bus to make it look like I wasn't even trying to catch it.

Ala Peter Kay style .....

[crashbang]

Daughter constipated. I told her to get some prune juice from asda. And drink about 200ml. She liked the taste and drank nearly a pint. She was upstairs for hours, saying it was brutal.

[flourbasher]

Try some bananas, bungs the system up
John Wayne used to swear by them….allegedly

[Bradgate]

Going back 40 years ago, I suffered regular migraines. On a visit to my old mum who was paralyzed with MS. I asked if she had any pain killers. She pointed to a box on the sideboard and I took two though she warned they were strong and only needed one.

I soon felt better and went home feeling quite happy. I felt so good I decided to go for a pint at the Butchers Arms (now demolished) and sat down with some mates.

I suddenly became aware of a dimembered hand holding a pint floating about Infront of me. I thought it was amazing watching it. My mates were staring at me and I started laughing like a nutter. I seemed to be floating in a bubble and going to the gents I seemed to be walking like Mr Soft from the soft mints ad on the telly in them days. I don't remember much else except everything was right in the world and happiness reigned supreme.

The following week I went to see mum again and asked what was those pain killers I'd taken. She pointed to the box still on the sideboard which I picked up and read the info sheet inside.....I'd taken a double dose of morphine.

It was a jolly good experience never repeated I must add, but I can see how people can easily get addicted.

1st post btw.

[LincsMiller]

One Christmas all the family were together , roasting chestnuts on the fire . Apparently no one had pierced the shells first and as I bit into mine it exploded in my mouth. Obviously everyone thought it was hysterical except me, cut and bleeding lips swelling by the minute. As a ****ager at the time, my Christmas was practically ruined

[South Coast Miller]

Well, not a bad start, Bradgate. I'd like to say I've never done anything stupid in my life but I can think of a couple of football related incidents. When I was about 11 or 12 I told some older boys I was a brilliant goalkeeper (sheer fantasy) so they said they'd take shots at me. The first one was hard and low towards the post but I dived to my left and to my own astonishment pulled off an amazing one-handed save. It broke my wrist.
When I was somewhat older I was waiting to come on in a match and I lit up a fag. While I was lighting it someone kicked the ball hard in my direction. It hit me on the end of the thumb and broke it - evening lost to A&E.
It took me years to give up smoking and football.