It's the way I tell 'em.

[sinkov]

"A walker taking a short cut through a farm yard bumps into the farmer, accompanied by a pig with a wooden leg. ‘What’s his story?’ asks the walker. ‘That, my friend, is Lancelot,’ replies the farmer. ‘He can do arithmetic. What’s four plus three, Lancelot?’ The pig stamps his wooden leg seven times. ‘What’s two plus one?’ Bang bang bang!

‘And what’s more,’ says the farmer, ‘he’s a life saver. My little daughter had fallen into a pond and was on the verge of drowning when Lancelot dived in, grabbed her by the scruff of the neck and pulled her to safety.’

‘Blimey,’ says the walker. ‘And what about the wooden leg?’

‘Well,’ says the farmer, ‘you don’t eat a pig like that all at once."

[kritichris]

Har de har sinky, it's the way you tell'em.

[wanderlust]

Oh dear Sinky !

Second worst joke I've heard this week, the worst being..

Why does the Norwegian fleet have bar codes painted on the side of their ships?


So that when they return to port they can.....














Scandinavian.

[sinkov]

I just hope we're not starting a trend here Lusty, this thread could go downhill rapidly, or then again, maybe it couldn't.

[wanderlust]

I just hope we're not starting a trend here Lusty, this thread could go downhill rapidly, or then again, maybe it couldn't.

You need a **** jokes thread

Bought a Humpty Dumpty toy from Aldi for the granddaughter and it was brilliant.

Came with Aldi King's horses and Aldi King's men.

[kritichris]

Which reminds me, saw this on FB which made me smile.

If Bjorn and Benny had been called Steve and Dave then the group would have been called ASDA

[army88]

Not humour but brilliant I thought

Do you know the difference between complete and finished ?
No dictionary can define the difference between complete and finished.
At a linguistic conference in England an Indian/ American scholar gave his views on the above and won - his response was this.
When you marry the right woman you are complete , but if you marry the wrong woman you are finished , And when the right woman catches you with the wrong woman you are “ completely finished “

He received A standing ovation

[The Bedlington Terrier]

Not humour but brilliant I thought

Do you know the difference between complete and finished ?
No dictionary can define the difference between complete and finished.
At a linguistic conference in England an Indian/ American scholar gave his views on the above and won - his response was this.
When you marry the right woman you are complete , but if you marry the wrong woman you are finished , And when the right woman catches you with the wrong woman you are “ completely finished “

He received A standing ovation

I think he plagiarised parts of my paper on the emotional and financial costs of multiple divorces army88.

[yoonited]

[sinkov]

"I went to the zoo yesterday and all it had was one little dog in a cage. It was a shih tzu."