Today's half time 'entertainment' was a clash for the ages - Evie vs Myles

Evie, representing Barnsley, had given it some forethought. Spurning popular convention, Evie went old school. Rather than hitting the ball with her instep after a short run up, she decided that standing adjacent to the ball and toe poking it was the way forward. If it was good enough for Woolwich Arsenal then it would be good enough for Evie. Like a player from 'Striker' (70's failed Subbuteo rival where you pushed the head down on the player to kick the ball) she continued on for a full 45 seconds like a metronome until she quite frankly ran out of steam like a spent set of wind up false teeth. 1-0 to Evie.

Myles, in his spanking brand new Horsham scarf took to the arena. After a exhausting trip all the way from.. erm, Sheffield, you might have expected Myles to start slowly. Not a chance! Right foot, left foot, this boy threw everything at. The action became even more frantic as The Family began to fire used footballs at him, presumably to cause frustration and exasperation as it certainly didn't aid him in any way, Myles nonchalantly took it all in his stride, controlled the loose balls, cast them aside, and then went on to win 2-1.

A modern classic for our times.

But wait!.. There was a twist in the tail! As punishment for losing, Evie had to watch the second half in the suite (behind glass with people who are there for the 'occasion' rather than the football). Unlucky Evie!

However, rather than give Myles a 'match' ball signed by eight players, he was given "blue tooth speakers worth £100".
A stunned silence descended upon Oakwell. Blue tooth speakers? Worth £100? Where did these appear from? Do The Family have connections in the digital world? Are Barnsley FC about to be bought by Sony or Bose?
So many questions. No wonder Myles and his dad spent the next twenty minutes staring at their prize like Indiana Jones in the Peruvian jungle.