Hi there..

[imtheboy]

I'm a long time admirer have everyone's work on this board. Finally plucked up the courage to join in.

Thought I'd break the ice by asking an interesting medical trivia question:

Do you know how to tell the difference between a midget and a dwarf?

[Sir_Judd]

Yes.



Now **** off.

[Floppy_funbags]

How do, are you a BOY or a BHOY? You do know we're gan to have to have a Jock for you don't for you? That's gan to be a bit of a ballache cos we're running out. Rab, Jimmy and Angus are already taken and there's not many left.

Dwarfs are bit stumpy whereas midgets are normal build, just geet tiny.

[ThisTimeNextYear]

A midget is a small person who is normally proportioned. A dwarf suffers from dwarfism, and hangs around with six other mates in a house with a fit bint.

Apparently I should know.

The ****er has waited all this time and posts this. Bit of off a disappointment tbf.

[imtheboy]

I'm not for ****ing off and I'm a Greenock Morton supporter.

Nobody has got the interesting medical trivia question correct but its early days to be fair.

[Floppy_funbags]

Morton? Isert that about the level of our Skrill Evostik* Third division (north) fitba?



* Or whatever it's called.

[ThisTimeNextYear]

I'm not for ****ing off and I'm a Greenock Morton supporter.

Nobody has got the interesting medical trivia question correct but its early days to be fair.

I reckon I'm nearer with no one really gives two ****s

Plus learn to ****ing swear you big skirt wearing homo.

[deezel]

another scoth eh...

are you* all coming down here because you cannae stand that Salmond geezer and want to cozy up to us in case you get independance?

are all sports pitches north off of the border infested with maggots and stuff?

[moorlad]

Isert dwarfism a genetic condition? Being a midget is just being geet ****y and isert a medical or genetic condition.

[imtheboy]

I dont know how to ****ing swear :blue:

[deezel]

it seems daft to tell hamish we don't give a flying **** aboot his question

...and then try to answer it

btw are all* these new scoths just wkd in disguise?

[moorlad]

Well youse ****ing well should by now if you've been watching us, unless off of course you're a ****ing geet stupid caber tossing, skirt wearing ****.

[moorlad]

I'm getting confused here, which one's Angus and which one's Hamish?

[ThisTimeNextYear]

it seems daft to tell hamish we don't give a flying **** aboot his question

...and then try to answer it

btw are all* these new scoths just wkd in disguise?

Fair point.

[deezel]

I dont know how to ****ing swear :blue:

just "quote" one of our sweary posts and the secret will appear

[Sir_Judd]

A midget were made by MG.

Now **** off.


A dwarf is 58" or less, the stumpy ****s.

[imtheboy]

I dont know how to ****ing swear :blue:

just "quote" one of our sweary posts and the secret will appear[/quote]

Seems like a lot of hard work just to be ****ing rude to someone. I dont think I'll bother. Someone might get upset mate.

[ThisTimeNextYear]

Hamish = I'm a girl or sommat
Angus = Dannyboy

[moorlad]

Who's Donald then? And where's his trousers?

[ThisTimeNextYear]

I dont know how to ****ing swear :blue:

just "quote" one of our sweary posts and the secret will appear[/quote]

Seems like a lot of hard work just to be ****ing rude to someone. I dont think I'll bother. Someone might get upset mate.[/quote]

Get to **** tbf. If you dinee want to upset anyone yer in the wrong place.

[Floppy_funbags]

Hamish'll do for this one then.


No more Sweaties now please. We've ran out ofs.

[imtheboy]

I'll upset people in due course. Just not at this early stage. If you dont ****ing mind...

[kel_]

Greenock?

You divvent know Breels do you?

[alfinyalcabo]

Well youse ****ing well should by now if you've been watching us, unless off of course you're a ****ing geet stupid caber tossing, skirt wearing ****.

He's a Scotch P.O.R.G. they are a bit like a scotch egg.

[ThisTimeNextYear]

I'll upset people in due course. Just not at this early stage. If you dont ****ing mind...

About ****ing time

[just_joe]

imtheboy was in Her Majesty's Royal Internet Commandos.

So watch yourselves.

[imtheboy]

Pennsylvania National Guard 1987-1993 actually.

[just_joe]

Pennsylvania National Guard 1987-1993 actually.

Crack outfit, that.

[imtheboy]

Greenock?

You divvent know Breels do you?

Big fellah? Walks with a limp? Wears an orthapaedic shoe? Used to work in John Menzies?

Nah mate, dont know him.

[imtheboy]

Pennsylvania National Guard 1987-1993 actually.

Crack outfit, that.[/quote]

I know. I was in it form 1987-1993. Dont know if Ive mentioned it on here yet.

[Pentridge]

Did you lot not hear Kenny?

NO MORE SCOTHS.

[moorlad]

Pennsylvania National Guard 1987-1993 actually.

Crack outfit, that.[/quote]

Is this one Donald TTNY?

[griff]

There's room for a couple more tbf. Dougal and Tavish ofn't been taken yet.

[just_joe]

Sorry, I'm not really Scotch.

Just hanging in Glasgow doing my pre-med.

Fascinating place, though. I'm totally immersed in the scotch culture. It sure is a real education! :D

[Pentridge]

Sorry, I'm not really Scotch.

Just hanging in Glasgow doing my pre-med.

Fascinating place, though. I'm totally immersed in the scotch culture. It sure is a real education! :D

Are you a YANK?

If so, you'll of to be known as Brad.

[Floppy_funbags]

Wullie, Tam and Wee Davey are still up for grabs too griff.

Pre-med? You a tranny or summat?

[RustySpanner]

I'm a long time admirer have everyone's work on this board. Finally plucked up the courage to join in.

Thought I'd break the ice by asking an interesting medical trivia question:

Do you know how to tell the difference between a midget and a dwarf?

Yer ma.

Now **** off.

[Floppy_funbags]

Sweet Jesus. It's a veritable PLAGUE.

[imtheboy]

just_joe is actually sambo from Paisley.

It pains me to tell you this :(

[just_joe]

No, not a tranny. Sorry, buddy. But I'll be able to make you into one when I'm done, if you like? :D

[John_Ridley]

Went out wi a bint once who wore a crack outfit.

Bit off-putting tbf. Curtains on show like.

[griff]

Buddy? **** REET off.

[chalky-ncfc]

Blimey talk about be careful what you wish for...

I thought that it would be better with more posters on here,but they all seem to be Scottish versions of the posters that's already on here...:O

[ThisTimeNextYear]

**** off chalky och aye tha noooo

[just_joe]

**** off chalky och aye tha noooo

Och aye the nooooooo right back at ye, TTNY! :D

I'm not Scotch, either, but I'm picking up the local dialect fast during my tenure here in Glesage! :D Ya bawbag, ye! :D

[kel_]

Finally got round to watching the link Kenny. I'm not sure tbf.

Nice appearance from chalky at 38 seconds though.

[chalky-ncfc]

What link?...:?

[kel_]

What link?...:?

On Kenny's post with a link on ffs ****s sake.

**** off chalky.

sedit

[kel_]

Oh balls, I meant to reply to the detective FRED.

My bad.

[chalky-ncfc]

That's pretty much me tbf...

[imtheboy]

Youse will absolutely KICK yourselves when I reveal the answer to the dwarf/midget conundrum..

But on the upside, you'll steal it and use it at kitchen parties where you'll be known as a right top trumper ;)

[521buc]

Youse will absolutely KICK yourselves when I reveal the answer to the dwarf/midget conundrum..

But on the upside, you'll steal it and use it at kitchen parties where you'll be known as a right top trumper ;)



What is the answer..as I haven't got a clue..

[imtheboy]

Dwarves cant put their hands over their heads to touch the opposite shoulder and midgets cant jump over footballs.

I read this in The Lancet in 1982.

[chalky-ncfc]

Its so obvious when you are told the answer...

[deezel]

but I'm picking up the local dialect fast during my tenure here in Glesage! :D Ya bawbag, ye! :D

are you in barlinnie joe?

[Floppy_funbags]

I'm 6'-3" but I can't touch me shoulder with the opposite hand or whatever it is.


I must be a geet big dwarf.

[imtheboy]

Thats the beauty of dwarves (for beautiful they are), they dont necessarily have to be small.

On the other hand midgets do require to be little. Dont ask me why.