Holding open doors

[MissWinnie]

I was surprised to read about a study undertaken by psychologists which claimed that men reported a reduction in self esteem and self belief after having a door held open for them, making them feel emasculated. Women on the other hand had no problems with it.

Just curious to get some male opinion on this. I just hold doors open for people as a matter of course. I don't really notice whether they are male or female. It's never entered my head that a guy might have a problem with it. I've heard of a few men who have been berated by women for their trouble though.

The only time I've ever really been conscious of this was once, on a crowded train, an elderly man and myself were the last to board a train, with only one seat left. Clearly, the elderly man should have had the seat over me, but he absolutely refused to take it. Spent a really uncomfortable journey watching him clearly struggling, but realised pride was very much at stake. In the end, I couldn't stand it any more, so mutte

[bongosdad]

Good thread Winnie and such a simple thing like opening a door can make you feel awkward. I don't like it when someone has to wait for a few seconds for me to walk through the doorway. It makes me speed up my walk when I didn't want too. If it's just holding the door open for a milli second it's ok with me regardless of ***.

This has made me think though. Would disabled male struggle more than a female regarding having help.

[dazzyo-villa]

Firstly Winnie, the cramp bits brilliant XD I can just imagine you getting up muttering that, can see my lass doing the same :)

I'm similar to Bongo, it does sometimes get a bit awkward when someone is waiting for you to get to the door, I have a rule when holding the door that anyone over say a metre away can open it themselves ;) :)

As for this study? in my humble little opinion you must be a right twerp if you let something so petty effect your self esteem or self belief, it begs the question who does answer these surveys.

[xchurchVilla]

I have no problems with someone holding a door for me or me holding a door for them. As long as politeness is endemic to British society I will be happy.

[stateside]

No problem having the door held open for me, often there is a second door anyway so you get to reciprocate.

Don't care if some women's libber berates me either, I am just doing what was drilled into me by my parents and theirs before them.

[MissWinnie]

Firstly Winnie, the cramp bits brilliant XD I can just imagine you getting up muttering that, can see my lass doing the same :)

I'm similar to Bongo, it does sometimes get a bit awkward when someone is waiting for you to get to the door, I have a rule when holding the door that anyone over say a metre away can open it themselves ;) :)

As for this study? in my humble little opinion you must be a right twerp if you let something so petty effect your self esteem or self belief, it begs the question who does answer these surveys.
You know me too well Dazzy. :D

Very glad to hear you are not all such sensitive little souls as the study implies. :) To be fair, I think it was just a few moments of ego deflation rather than a significant thing. It just made them question whether people thought they were too weak to do it for themselves. I think it was a study based on random people entering a building. Just asked the question, a

[MissWinnie]

the road. Cue one very red faced, disgruntled father, and his giggling partner! :)

[ozfan]

A couple of good yarns,Win.

I don't mind having the door opened for me. It's when they let it go before you're all the way in.

[MissWinnie]

XD Ouch! Quite agree, Oz. That's never good!

[yubbywelch]

I always get the door for anyone.
and always help women with groceries , shopping trollies, heavy lifting, but in this day and age I occasionally get knocked back by women are very careful of a stranger willing to help. :(

Too many stories of people getting mugged when being a good Samaritan or being helped by a so called kind stranger,

[MissWinnie]

Yubby, I must admit I refuse offers of help from strange men in letting them carry/lift heavy bags for me. Only because I've had a few experiences of men offering to help, and then coming onto me (in a yukky, leery type of way). I can't just walk off as they've got my bag. Trouble is, you can't always tell the good guys, like yourself, from the creeps. I always rebuff them politely though, with a smile and a thank you as I like to think they are mostly genuine.

[ozfan]

Saunters by carefully keeping the leery side of his face in the shadows.

[MissWinnie]

Ha! Too late Oz! Caught a glimpse. Hmm ... actually the leery side of your face is quite cute, so I don't mind it coming out into the sunshine.

* Discreetly glances at pecs in a non leery kind of way. O:) ;D

[NuclearDevice]

I just reckon it's good manners, end of story. More than happy to hold a door open or have it held for me.

It's a little gesture that makes the world go around (unless it's a revolving door then you go round ;) ).

[bongosdad]

It does make you think though. There are to many doors though and many unnecessary.

[ozfan]

What does that even mean?

[ozfan]

Ha! Too late Oz! Caught a glimpse. Hmm ... actually the leery side of your face is quite cute, so I don't mind it coming out into the sunshine.

* Discreetly glances at pecs in a non leery kind of way. O:) ;D

My leery side rises and falls depending on what you're wearing. Some men actually think they're putting on their best looking cutest face when it has in fact evolved into leering without them being aware. It's also known as pervface.

Wanders off thinking about black dresses and teleporting technology.

[MissWinnie]

I just reckon it's good manners, end of story. More than happy to hold a door open or have it held for me.

It's a little gesture that makes the world go around (unless it's a revolving door then you go round ;) ).

Exactly, Nuc.

[MissWinnie]

It does make you think though. There are to many doors though and many unnecessary.

Having lots of doors are quite helpful for those of us who haven't evolved enough to be able to walk through walls yet.

[MissWinnie]

Ha! Too late Oz! Caught a glimpse. Hmm ... actually the leery side of your face is quite cute, so I don't mind it coming out into the sunshine.

* Discreetly glances at pecs in a non leery kind of way. O:) ;D

My leery side rises and falls depending on what you're wearing. Some men actually think they're putting on their best looking cutest face when it has in fact evolved into leering without them being aware. It's also known as pervface.

Wanders off thinking about black dresses and teleporting technology.[/quote]

Black dress currently on rail awaiting next flirting by candlelight meet with ripped singlet, and singlet's owner.

Owner of black dress currently wearing just a simple cream duvet. (It's Saturday morning and the lazy owner is posting in bed).

[ozfan]

Your post gave me the strength to strategically rip a new singlet with my bare teeth. ;D

[MissWinnie]

Lazy owner suddenly decides she is not so lazy after all, jumping out of bed, before hurriedly zipping self into black dress, in the hope of finding a friendly shop keeper who will hold open door for her, transporting her as if by magic to said candlelit restaurant. ;D

[Arran007]

I like letting doors go to slam in the faces of people like Bongo XD XD XD XD XD XD XD

[ozfan]

Lazy owner suddenly decides she is not so lazy after all, jumping out of bed, before hurriedly zipping self into black dress, in the hope of finding a friendly shop keeper who will hold open door for her, transporting her as if by magic to said candlelit restaurant. ;D

Makes reservation at the wax and wicker bar and grill for 7.30 this coming Friday. I will pick you up from your bedroom window via my hot air balloon.;D

[MissWinnie]

Wow, I'm going to be picked up in a hot air balloon! Looking forward to Friday already, Oz. ;D

Practises elegantly climbing out of bedroom window in black dress and heels, before returning to bed, dreaming of candle wax, bare teeth ripped singlets, and pecs.

[yubbywelch]

Seriously I think we need to raise some funds to get you 2 a room.