waiting time

[yubbywelch]

Opinions please

I always worked on the theory that when a relationship had run its due course that 1-2 years is the amount of time it would take to mourn that relationship, and then time to potentially do it again. (that is what I did )

My brother took a couple of months

A mate of mine said 1 month per year you were with the ex.

I know every case is different, just wondering what others Think

[yubbywelch]

Oops

quickly Bingo...

Wrong thread Yubby.

Mods please move before Bingo sees I'm not perfect

[bongosdad]

Wrong board Yubby!!! >:(

To answer your question i personally think it depends how quick you find someone else. I dont mean a fling but someone of a similar standard emotionally and physically to your ex. People like that dont grow on trees but it will happen at some point. Its about being positive and realusing sometimes when you think you hsve lost someone infact many more doors have opened that would have been closed if things stayed the same. It all sounds easy but i know its horrible loosing someone. My only advise is to think about the kids as the priority.

[yubbywelch]

Dam Busters Bingo beat the mods.

Bingo I am not personally ready to let go and i am still married and love my wife.

The topic was not about me,just a question and an Aussie interested in peoples thoughts

[bongosdad]

Oh ok thats good yubs. Sorry.

I personally think the more it happens to you the quicker you recover just knowing the sad feeling dont last forever.

[littlemissvillain]

I don't think you can put a time scale on it Yubby.

I had mentally left my marriage before I physically left my marriage so I was ready to move on pretty quickly...

I think you know when the time feels right

L x

[yubbywelch]

So many variables Lmv, my marriage hasn't been good for awhile.

But what ever happened to death do us part?

[littlemissvillain]

Very true Yubby. That's why you have take each situation differently.

There was 0 hope for my marriage. The marriage had been built on a lie... Which once uncovered there was no going back so once I'd accepted it I moved on... And for me it turned out to be the best thing ever as I met Scotty.

If there is hope and a chance to salvage it then you should try. My advice would be... Have no regrets...if you would regret giving up too easily then don't...

Big hugs

L xx

[yubbywelch]

I have tried everything, but a marriage takes 2. :(

I will not give up hope, but the the ball is out of my court.

[NuclearDevice]

Hope you can work it out together.

:heart: :heart:

[yubbywelch]

God can work miracles Nuc, but he'd have an easier time moving Uluru to South Africa.

[yubbywelch]

cmon peoples I'm all good.

What are your thoughts or old wives tales on waiting time between relationships???

[MissWinnie]

The only 'theory/old wives tale' I've heard of, is waiting a year, so you've experienced/got through the full range of seasons/events (e.g. birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries/holidays/other significant dates) without them, first.

In reality, however, I don't think there are any hard and fast rules. As L says, I think people are often mentally in different places when a relationship physically ends, so that kind of dictates if and when a person feels they are ready to form a relationship with someone else.

Although I also agree with L that people generally just know when they are ready, I think sometimes it can catch you by surprise. My dad's partner had been resolutely single for over 10 years, and had absolutely no interest in meeting anyone else, despite fending off the attentions of men/well meaning friends wanting to play matchmaker. Then, one day, both she, and my dad just, by chance, happened to be both at the same place at the same time, got talking, and cupid fired his trus

[ozfan]

Opinions please

I always worked on the theory that when a relationship had run its due course that 1-2 years is the amount of time it would take to mourn that relationship, and then time to potentially do it again. (that is what I did )

My brother took a couple of months

A mate of mine said 1 month per year you were with the ex.

I know every case is different, just wondering what others Think

I've been single for over three years but my choice. If I ever get involved in another relationship it will be because I met someone amazing not for the sake of not being on my own and settling with anyone who'll have me.

A friend of mine recently separated from a long-term relationship and two weeks later he's dating someone.

[yubbywelch]

Yeah, I just don't get the quick turn around, even a couple of weeks after a month of courting seems too soon to me.

[MissWinnie]

Yubbs, I've noticed that guys in particular often seem to start dating again really quickly after coming out of long term relationships - it's like they've got to reassure themselves that they're still attractive, before then taking a break for a while ...

I'm always amazed how many people are scared of being single and feel less of a person, unless they're one half of someone else, jumping from one bad relationship into the next, rather than just enjoying their own company for a while. Totally agree with Oz - amazing person, not any person.

[yubbywelch]

I've haven't had a great marriage the last 3-6 years, but the last 18months has been really ordinary.

I want to share my life with someone who will except me for who I am warts in all.

I still love my wife, and understand she's hurt, bitter, angry and resentful but I am very disappointed she will not consider a councilor again, and has just given up on 13years of marriage.

What ever happened to "till death do us part"

the problem is, that in this day and age, everything is about me me me, and everyone is so self-centered, they can't see the big picture.

[bongosdad]

There is no right or wrong yubby. It's what's right for you that counts.

[ozfan]

There is no right or wrong yubby. It's what's right for you that counts.

Using that logic rapists should carry on if it's right for them.

[ozfan]

I've haven't had a great marriage the last 3-6 years, but the last 18months has been really ordinary.

I want to share my life with someone who will except me for who I am warts in all.

I still love my wife, and understand she's hurt, bitter, angry and resentful but I am very disappointed she will not consider a councilor again, and has just given up on 13years of marriage.

What ever happened to "till death do us part"

the problem is, that in this day and age, everything is about me me me, and everyone is so self-centered, they can't see the big picture.

Failure to see the big picture or the consequences of actions taken. But you're right mate. We live in the time of me and the age of entitlement.

[MissWinnie]

Yubby, what one person will see as a wart, another will see as a quirky, but endearing beauty spot. :heart:

Sis x

[yubbywelch]

Is that what you tell Oz Winnie

[MissWinnie]

Ok Yubby, I've used up my quota of being nice to you for this year in that one sentence, so normal service now resumes... :P

[yubbywelch]

I'm sorry Winnie, he picked on me first.

[ozfan]

I'm sorry Winnie, he picked on me first.

I did? Where?

[bongosdad]

There is no right or wrong yubby. It's what's right for you that counts.

Using that logic rapists should carry on if it's right for them.[/quote]

What a silly statement oz. Im not suggesting anyone has nonconsensual ***! Im not sure how you linked my comment with that disgusting act. I'm just pointing out everyone is different. For example my brother got dumped after a long relationship. After a couple of months he moved in with his new girlfriend and 10+ years later there happily married with two kids. Should he have waited?

[yubbywelch]

Bingo don't take it as an attack on you.

Re read the statement you said that replied too. He is right, the dame goes for a murderer, a cheating partner, an arsonist, wife beater, liar etc etc etc.

The statement for me is fine, unless I am one of the above mentioned.

Either way everyone has to live with their actions

[bongosdad]

I still dont get it yubbs.
Hes been picking on me recently so im a bit sensitive.

[yubbywelch]

There is no right or wrong yubby. It's what's right for you that counts.

Using that logic rapists should carry on if it's right for them.[/quote]

you don't get it?????
Forget about who posted it.
There's no right or wrong Yubby.
So are we talking about anarchy?
I know what you meant, what Oz says is also correct if a rapist read that, thus his point.
I tried to use other examples.

[ozfan]

I still dont get it yubbs.
Hes been picking on me recently so im a bit sensitive.

Picking on you? You seem to think you can write whatever you want and be above criticism. As soon as someone disagrees with you they're picking on you. You come across as a ****ager not a 40+ male who works with wayward youth.

That you didn't understand what I wrote even though yubbs tried hard to explain it points to your own lack of perception.