A cold wind

[ozfan]

and a solitary tumble weed blows through the unhinged door of the once popular and colourful tavern. Decor fading while the memories of a thousand parties stained deep into the ruby carpet.Travelers from a thousand opinions all came to be heard. To sing their songs and tell stories of adventure,love,and tragedy. To right the wrongs of misguided agenda.To dream of a better world. A better way to live. Ghosts of departed revelers that we loved without seeing. Without conditions.

[MissWinnie]

... Dazzy and Blackpool vying to put the coolest tunes on the worn out old juke box, Lefty turning into Freer when he's had one too many, Brendan showing us his party trick of how to start an argument in a paper bag, LMV and Statesey stepping in to call 'Time' when someone sets fire to much loved paper bag ...

[yubbywelch]

Amak grabbed the paper bag to write down his quadratic formula before realizing his lecture had started, J fresh from cleaning up last nights mess was arriving home when he noticed an old man, a very old man was disorientated and he help him pick up his pension and then signed him into his favorite website (at least he thought so) J signed him in as AV4...BANG, CRASH... Bushy just arrived in

[MissWinnie]

looking like he'd spent the last 6 months ...

[ozfan]

in a Tavern in a wild border town having lost all his mining equipment in a unicycle riding bet.

Suddenly a shrill feminine voice breaks the dusty air."Aussie! Aussie! Aussie! Oi! Oi! Oi! It was Yubby Yelps rollerskating to the bar and asking for a

[MissWinnie]

dandelion and burdock spritzer, informing the somewhat surprised bar tender that he would no longer be requiring his usual strawberry milk shake with sprinkles, as he had decided to move on to the hard stuff, seeing as he would be reaching a milestone birthday in a few days time.

Unusually rejecting the attentions of his Tavern friends, Yubby settled down in a corner to plan his surprise birthday bash, just in case Winnie forgot - again, as he fondly recalled his last big birthday bash where Oz and Lefty

[yubbywelch]

danced around on top of the bar wearing nothing but mankini's. Lefty looked fabulous doing his rendition of

[MissWinnie]

'Like a Virgin', whilst throwing what he hoped were sultry and meaningful looks in the direction of

[Exiledvillan]

Bongo in his new Spaniel-skin thong and...

[yubbywelch]

a Rolf Harris toupee. Ozfan not wanting to be upstaged, gracefully

[MissWinnie]

put those years of attending ballet classes in a tutu to good use, as he executed a perfect Pointe before slowly extending his long leg high into the air, only stopping once it was parallel with his head, causing

[Exiledvillan]

Gasps of revulsion, as evidence of 'spiders legs' protruding from the gusset, revealing the neanderthal's unwillingness to keep a 'tidy garden' despite Winnies...

[yubbywelch]

cry's of more! and take it all off, Bushy couldn't

[MissWinnie]

take his eyes off Exiled, who was

[bongosdad]

In the toilet with the doors open doing a big poo. when...

[MissWinnie]

Bongo found himself standing out in the cold, still wearing spaniel skin thong and wig after being frog marched out of the Tavern by Winnie as she instructed BB, who was on bouncer duty, not to let him back in until he learned how to behave.

Meanwhile, back in the Tavern, Yubby's reminiscing was brought to a dramatic end by

[yubbywelch]

He's 40th Birthday Party, and his first present was David joining Villa, but he was chuffed when he got the next best present...

[MissWinnie]

of Mitch jumping out of a big birthday cake, wearing nothing but

[bongosdad]

A big pair of underpants signed by Gareth Barry. Yubby became upset because...

[yubbywelch]

he wanted the pants to use as ...

[MissWinnie]

a sail for the raft that he was making for his journey to see his no 1 present play at Villa Park, but Arran had already commandered them to use as

[yubbywelch]

fuel to burn the Lambert shrine. Arran grabbed the over sized undies along with...

[MissWinnie]

his prized, if somewhat lipstick stained, 'To Arran Chops, with love and sloppy kisses from Paulykins xxx' signed, framed photo of his hero, before

[yubbywelch]

the Eifel Tower.??????
Meanwhile the girls arrived shouting and screaming...

[stateside]

Because Statesy had his footy shorts on again

[Exiledvillan]

Despite the Bermuda shorts now resembling a pair of 'Speedo's', Statesie dazzled the crowd with his rendition of...

[yubbywelch]

the Macarena. This was so well performed Lambert decided to put Statesy in charge of the cheer squad.
Across town...

[MissWinnie]

closet Cliff Richard fans, Dazzy and Blackpool, were quietly humming 'Summer Holiday' as they lovingly finished painting their London double decker bus claret and blue, as they prepared to pick up the rest of the Villa Mad gang from Yubby's party for their annual summer vacation. Unfortunately,

[VillaRosie]

Blackpool casually mentioned that Dazzy would have to drive as he did not hold the necessary licence. Dazzy looking bothered and bewildered wailed neither do I. Plan A failed miserably - Cliff was unavailable. We need a plan B can anyone help?

[ozfan]

Walk you lazy *******s came the cry from the darkness. "I can't run in these heels!" Wailed snazzy. "And besides, look at the state of Blackpool's..

[stateside]

Hair. It's one thing on a private bus, but he can't go out in public with his hair in

[MissWinnie]

pink ribbon tied school girl bunches. They really dont work with his ...

[ozfan]

Face book profile picture where he's hanging from a cliff face using a rope hand twined from his own pubic hair. The same rope he used to escape eight years of solitary confinement in a Mexican prison.His only crime was to...

[stateside]

Host c0q fighting events at his hacienda. Normally illegal, but authorities weren't aware there was no poultry at these galas. Only hombres without

[yubbywelch]

boy bits. Bingo was so excited, he always to know how painful the operation was so he went and asked..

[MissWinnie]

Yubby how he managed to ...

[yubbywelch]

find the girl boys in the first place. Yubby responded they were at ..

[MissWinnie]

his 'how to be a girly girl' classes that he now attended on a Wednesday night, following his failure to beat Winnie in that comp too, before revealing to a horrified Bongo that ...

[VillaRosie]

Before he could join the Girly Girl classes on the Ice Man's instructions all new students must now complete the ESPN Bracket Predictor. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo screamed the mortified Bongo not the brackets anything but the brackets. Have mercy on me. ICM glared at the shaking Bongo. Ok I want you to...

[ozfan]

give yourself a couple of glancing blows and fetch me a drink while I think about my thinking. Bongo left. The sad sound of his club foot being dragged through small stones disappearing into the dark night.

Some time after 2am there was a shrill cry of ...

[bongosdad]

Horror when ICM realised Bongo had pisssed in his drink. Then

[MissWinnie]

an even shriller cry could be heard in the distance when Bongo realised he had mixed up the drinks. Awoken by all the screaming, Lefty emerged from the shadows complaining that ...

[ozfan]

he hadn't been fed for weeks and the chain was starting to dig in. We looked at bongo the drink pisser and thought why not. Not much use here, so we dragged him into the...

[MissWinnie]

cellar where Lefty had been in chains for the last 6 months (entirely voluntarily), using Lefty's silk stockings to ...