ozfan
29-06-2014, 12:32 PM
A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie, he decides to test it at dinner.
He asks his son, "Son, where were you today during school hours?" "At school." The robot slaps the son.
"Okay, I went to the movies!" The father asks, "Which one?" "Harry Potter." The robot slaps the son again.
"Okay, I was watching ****!" The father replies, "What? When I was your age I didn't even know what **** was!" The robot slaps the father.
The mom chimes in, "Haha! After all, he is your son!" The robot slaps the mother.
What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
Snowballs.
Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? He was outstanding in his field.
What do quantum whales eat?
Planckton.
It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
A week after Mozart died, his ghost was discovered trying to erase his music. When asked why, it said "I'm decomposing."
He asks his son, "Son, where were you today during school hours?" "At school." The robot slaps the son.
"Okay, I went to the movies!" The father asks, "Which one?" "Harry Potter." The robot slaps the son again.
"Okay, I was watching ****!" The father replies, "What? When I was your age I didn't even know what **** was!" The robot slaps the father.
The mom chimes in, "Haha! After all, he is your son!" The robot slaps the mother.
What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?
Snowballs.
Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? He was outstanding in his field.
What do quantum whales eat?
Planckton.
It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
A week after Mozart died, his ghost was discovered trying to erase his music. When asked why, it said "I'm decomposing."