Once upon a time ...

[MissWinnie]

there were three not so little Villa Mad posters: Ozfan, Yubby, and Bongo who all lived together in a life of idyllic domestic bliss and harmony in a little thatched cottage at the bottom of BB's garden. Until, that is, the now legendary day when Yubby discovered ...

[yubbywelch]

that Ozfan, (his idol) had broken the number 1 house rule.

Thou Shalt Not Have...

[Balanbam00]

...that Bongo asked that dreaded question ,which all know, that western science can't touch , plus the book of books, forbids any interest or attempts any form of understanding,hiding us all as if under some cloak,but harmlessly he asked 'what is consciousness?' Alarm bells went off in silence,headache pills disappeared off chemists counters. Hawkins ,Dawson and Hitchens have all turned away,as if stunned. What are we to do?...

[MissWinnie]

that Ozfan, (his idol) had broken the number 1 house rule.

Thou Shalt Not Have...

... Lefty, Brendan, and Scotty round for naked Jacuzzis without ...





Balan - it looks like you were still writing after Yubbs replied. :) We usually just follow on from the first reply when this happens, but keep posting! B)

[Balanbam00]

...the understanding and knowledge of us all. For whosoever shall do any of these abominations, even the souls that do them shall be cut off from among their people. Because these abominations have the men of the land done, that were before you.Therefore ...

[bongosdad]

...proves that Bigfoot is real. The huge sasquatch who was communicating with Oz through telepathy, climbed into the Jacuzzi with Scotty Lefty and Brendan. Brendan said to Scotty and lefty...

[MissWinnie]

"Ok, guys, who's going to tell Ozfan that he REALLY needs a shave?" before

[yubbywelch]

That's ridiculous, that's no big foot, that's AV with his shirt off. AV motioned. ...

[Balanbam00]

...them to really take note ! Listen ! this illusion you talk about is noted to be reported to have a strong, unpleasant smell by those who claim to have encountered it. Plus the enormous size of...

[MissWinnie]

it's ego would provide some stiff competition to us guys in the hot tub. Well, maybe not, he reflected, as Brendan and Lefty began another argument about ...

[ozfan]

the immigration policies of the Government and their effect on British bred Fish and Chip shops. Oz glances over at yubbs who looks worryingly comfortable in the Lycra one piece and says. "Mate, why do these stories always have a *** cross dressing overtone?" Yubbs said ...

[yubbywelch]

"It's because our favourite mod wears these amazing boots, and the blokes find it brings out their...

[bongosdad]

...feminine side. Scotty Lefty and Brendan all stood and said...

[MissWinnie]

"Yubby, you know Oz insists on naked Jacuzzis. If you won't play properly, and insist on wearing that one piece Lycra thing, then we'll just have to go again." as they pulled on LMV's borrowed boots and spangled backless dresses, before abandoning the party to strop off back to Facebook land, where they started up a new clique and lived happily ever after.

Meanwhile, back in the Jacuzzi, Oz and Yubby were getting rather ...

[yubbywelch]

noisy. They were arguing over who had the biggest...

[Balanbam00]

...and largest amount of cash,stashed or bet on the upcomming cup game,V Leicester City on Sunday 15/02/15 with a ...

[yubbywelch]

decision to be made on where the proceeds of the winnings would be spent.
the top 3 options are:

[MissWinnie]

Number 1 - to altruistically give it all to Winnie (obviously this was their first thought), number 2, to buy David Villa (to give everyone some peace) and last but not least to have an extension built on their thatched cottage to house Ozfan's ever increasing collection of sling backs.

Unfortunately for our favourite Aussie pair, while they were busy squabbling, they failed to notice ...

[birminghamborn]

I was just wondering , what the hell is going on at the bottom of my garden?

[ozfan]

Is that pigeon **** on my Bob Dylan marble bust?

Meanwhile the good looking men having a spa together were wondering just what was going on a the bottom of the garden so they could answer the giant. Yubby farted and said..

[MissWinnie]

"Oh, I think someone has hung their smartypants on BB's Ray Graydon bust. BB's muttering something about sacrilege" as he and Oz continued to admire their good looks in their shared hand mirror, comparing chiselled jaws, and length of eyelash, in between their very manly Australian farts, before being rudely disrupted in their male bonding experience by the sound of ...

[yubbywelch]

giggling women, who strolled into the back yard hoping to get a glimpse of the Australian hunks. Oz suggest to Yubb...

[MissWinnie]

that they invite the women to join them in the hot tub, to give the girls the once in a lifetime opportunity to experience their highly prized Australian forms at close quarters, as well as giving Yubby the opportunity to assess their potential as future mascot girls. Unfortunately, on closer inspection, our Aussie duo discovered that they were no giggling girls, but ...

[yubbywelch]

3 Supper models.
Miranda Kerr, Elle Macpherson and Jennifer Hawkins.

http://i62.tinypic.com/2gua4k9.jpg

http://i57.tinypic.com/2prdw2a.jpg

http://i62.tinypic.com/24uvzp5.jpg

[yubbywelch]

http://i60.tinypic.com/2zp08s9.jpg

[yubbywelch]

http://i62.tinypic.com/9sglf6.jpg

[yubbywelch]

http://i61.tinypic.com/9uvp6a.jpg

(that's better sizes)

[ozfan]

Well the supper models fittingly were carrying plates of man food for the lads who were busy flexing various muscles whilst trying to looking open and warm. Oz called out for sausage rolls and party pies and Jennifer in a flash Grabbed Miranda's plate and came sauntering over. Miranda picked up the spilled Sushi and proceeded to hand feed Yubby who hated Sushi but loved Miranda.

Lefty left Brendan to argue with a chair while he sized up his chances of getting a bit.

Of sausage roll and pie. Hearing a sob he turned to see Elle sitting under a bush crying over a tray of balti pies and lagers. His only chance was to ask her what was wrong.

Ellie my dear whatever is the matter and can I have a pie? Ellie said...

[MissWinnie]

"Sniiiiiff" (noisily wipes nose on sleeve)"Yubby's been telling me I'm his no 1 Villa mascot girl since he was a boy in short trousers, and now he's being hand fed sushi by HER" (looks daggers at Miranda).

Lefty, who had mysteriously re-appeared from Facebook land, after the arrival of the supper models (with Brendan tagging along, as they had been in the middle of an argument about whether the Royal Family suck boiled sweets in the same way as the rest of us, and the implications this may have on the constitution) realising he was unlikely to be getting a bit, and anxious that the lager not be watered down any further by Elle's tears ...

[yubbywelch]

So Lefty Stumbled over to Elle an asked " Seriously Girly will you stop your bloody babbling" Elle responded by...

[ozfan]

And CUT.

Yubbs do keep up. Lefty was already with Ellie sniffing around for pies and lager offering a shoulder so how could he stumble over to her and tell her to stop babbling if he's already there?

Ok we'll pick it up with lefties sad realisation he wasn't getting any.

Places Please

And action.

[ozfan]

Said "Here love let me take that tray for you while you compose yourself. You know what Miranda's like. Don't let her see she hurt you."

Ellie nodded slowly and rested her head on lefties shoulder. Lefty slurped his lager and wondered if life could get any better.

Suddenly there were screams coming from the spa. It was yubby choking on seaweed. His left eye had grown comically bulbous. It was not pretty but this was serious. Somebody do something!!

A small crowd had gathered to point and stare at bulbous eye when a voice called out " Clear the way!" It was...

[yubbywelch]

And cut cut.

But he didn't want his lager to be watered down.

[yubbywelch]

Action again

Scotty with a large mallet and a piece of chewing gum, he grabbed Yubb by the scruff of his neck and...

[ozfan]

punched him in the guts causing a sudden expulsion of air and dislodging the furball like clump of seaweed. Scotty had saved Yubbie's life. But his heroic deed had also taken Miranda's eye.

Meanwhile Oz had sensibly called for an ambulance to give yubbs a once over. The legs that emerged from the ambulance seemed to just keep coming as did the boots adorning them. Scotty was transfixed and Miranda skulked off back to Yubbs who was busy being doubled up and winded.

"Hi I'm Scotty" Said Scotty.
"Are you the patient?"
"No"
"then I don't care. Take me to the patient"

At that precise moment our little gang of VM reunion revelers where hit with a shifting bubble in the space time continuum and found themselves
in...

[yubbywelch]

26 September 1969 the release date of the Beatles Abbey Road album.

[Balanbam00]

...and the USSR performs underground nuclear test,which could be the start of something big ,which looking at my friends ****,I can see also something happening ...

[bongosdad]

Infact it was yubby farting loudly. Winnie smelt it and said...

[Balanbam00]

...I do not mind at all things which I call 'natural'! No problem at all, but what I do mind is ...

[yubbywelch]

People claiming to be Australian, when they are actually kiwi's... Meanwhile

[Balanbam00]

Then Scotty crashed in again with 'but you know what really gets me in life, what I really dislike is' ...

[MissWinnie]

when people just don't pay attention and follow the Villa Mad story properly. Sooo many continuity issues, he sighed, as he glanced over at the famous zebra crossing, where Bongo was trying to persuade John, Paul, George and Ringo that THAT photo might just become iconic one day - but only if they were joined in the picture by a Big Foot on the end, before showing them his highly prized collection of dodgy Big Foot snaps, wishing it was not 1968, so he could bring out his You Tube collection too.

Suddenly, gasps filled the air, as one, by one by one, each of the Beatles dropped to the ground, before filling the air, again, with the sound of gentle snoring.

Yes, reflected Scotty, Bongo's done it again, and there was only one person who could rouse the Beatles out of their now nearly coma state ...

[bongosdad]

And up popped icecream with his book of funds made avalible for paul lambert. Before he had a chance to say Lambert had an average of 3m per player ringo paul john and the other one woke up and said...