Proper Mannies Cricket

[StandfreeFM]

OK ok, it's not the Ashes but it's still good to be able to watch some cricket in the mornings. England struggling a bit in India just now but I suppose that's no surprise against the No1 ranked side in the world in their own conditions. Competitive in the first test but were pretty much outplayed in tests 2 and 3. 400 in the first innings in the 4th test has been an improvement (thanks to a former South Africa under 19's captain making his debut) but they are really suffering for their lack of a decent spinner.

[StandfreeFM]

Henry Blofeld retires from TMS

Good. Useless old duffer should have been put out to pasture long ago.

[Pacman1903]

I saw him on the Chase nae long ago. Seemed a bit of an arrogant tossbag

[vasilyrats86]

Henry Blofeld retires from TMS

Good. Useless old duffer should have been put out to pasture long ago.

I thought he had gone years ago auld duffer

[57vintage]

Yas. Proper mannies' cricket back the morn, at Lord's.

A solid-looking England line-up with a one hoor of a length of batting capability.

Even highlights on Channel 5 every night. **** your arse with a broken Whitbread bottle Murdoch you coffin-dodging Fascist tossbag.

And a Boycott Bingo card too. Yas.

http://www.channel5.com/video/boycott-bingo/

[EdmontonDandy]

Should be a good test, shame I won't even be able to watch highlights here. England's batting does look good with Ballance, Root and Bairstow 3-5. See they have a couple of spinners as well, first time in a while. du Plessis absent for S.A.? Rabada will be exciting to watch.

[StandfreeFM]

Yas. Proper mannies' cricket back the morn, at Lord's.

A solid-looking England line-up with a one hoor of a length of batting capability.

Even highlights on Channel 5 every night. **** your arse with a broken Whitbread bottle Murdoch you coffin-dodging Fascist tossbag.

And a Boycott Bingo card too. Yas.

http://www.channel5.com/video/boycott-bingo/

Morning Vintage, Morning Everyone.

England win the toss and bat first.

Eng - Cook, Jennings, Balance, Root (c), Bairstow (wk), Stokes, Ali, Dawson, Broad, Wood, Anderson

Saffers - Elgar (c), Kuhn, Amla, Duminy, Bavuma, du Bruyn, de Kock (w), Philander, Maharaj, Rabada, Morkel

Looking forward to this. Fancy England might win the series quite comfortably tho, this isn't the greatest SA side.

ENG Top Scorer - Rooooooooooooot
ENG Top Wicket taker - Anderson (if he lasts)

SA Top Scorer - de Kock
SA Top Wicket taker - Rabada

[SmedDUm]

You're only getting 2/1 the draw. Bookies know their weather forecast.

[57vintage]

Morning Vintage, Morning Everyone.

:cool: Nice Richie tribute, min. Good work.

Jennings described as having "an anxious prod" - the Ibrox Finance Director onfield?

Chef gone. 14-1.

[StandfreeFM]

:cool: Nice Richie tribute, min. Good work.

Jennings described as having "an anxious prod" - the Ibrox Finance Director onfield?

Chef gone. 14-1.

Nae bother min :)

59-3, typically useless start fae England.

According to TMS:- "Over the last three years, in 64 innings, England have lost their third wicket at 55 or lower 23 times." That's absolutely appalling cricket.

[57vintage]

Nae bother min :)

59-3, typically useless start fae England.

According to TMS:- "Over the last three years, in 64 innings, England have lost their third wicket at 55 or lower 23 times." That's absolutely appalling cricket.

Then Bairstow, plumb apparently. I wonder whatever happened to hewasplummin?

117-4. Stokes just planted a 6.

Still disna sound comfortable, though.

[StandfreeFM]

Stokes gone for 56, 190-5. Much needed century partnership for England.

Finally a wicket for Rabada.

Roooooooooot on 83*

[Donanddusted]

That's a captain's innings from Root.
How many times can he do that to save face for the openers before he gets dragged down to their level though?

[57vintage]

Third Test on.

England batting on a slightly-damp, but drying Oval, aboot 50-1 - Jennings out for his third duck innings.

Boycs in great form on TMS, "As well as digging into Keaton Jennings' cricket technique, Geoffrey Boycott on TMS is having a grump about "these modern coffee cups with lids on them". Apparently, Boycs - whose name, lest we forget, is an anagram of Grotty Coffee Boy - prefers an old-fashioned china cup."

[57vintage]

88MPH inswinging yorker kittles Malan out.

Sounds just like Waqar Younis or Wasim Akram in 1991.

Unplayable when it's bowled at that pace.

Must watch on C5 highlights when I get back from tonight's game.

121-4 Cook 55*.

[StandfreeFM]

Sick of these one sided test matches tbh. I want England to win but ffs it's dull as sh!te for folk with day 3, 4, or 5 tickets if the result is pretty much known. Nae fight in these batting (unts. I blame 20/20.

[57vintage]

I blame 20/20.

Never a truer word typed. Even Amla looked like a baseball striker in his two dismissals by Toblerone.

[Mason89]

20/20 is horsesh!t & ruining test matches. If you can't win one, you should try not to lose it but they just all go into big bash mode. They should be forced to watch endless re runs of Michael Atherton leaving a ball

[StandfreeFM]

They should be forced to watch endless re runs of Michael Atherton leaving a ball

That sounds like quality Saturday Night viewing to me tbf.

Deal Elgar waltzes his way to a century, well played sir. Posh sounding bowling discovery Toby Roland-Jones takes 2 wickets in 2 balls to inch England to victory. Saffers 213 for 7, 67 overs remaining

[57vintage]

20/20 is horsesh!t & ruining test matches. If you can't win one, you should try not to lose it but they just all go into big bash mode. They should be forced to watch endless re runs of Michael Atherton leaving a ball

Fill yer boots

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3BBoGguhFg

Of course, for 40 minutes, until Allan Donald was knackered, this was the most attritional, gladitorial sporting telly of 1998 whn it was still on BBC (**** off Murdoch).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JojnoSO4MDc

[StandfreeFM]

Fill yer boots

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3BBoGguhFg

Of course, for 40 minutes, until Allan Donald was knackered, this was the most attritional, gladitorial sporting telly of 1998 whn it was still on BBC (**** off Murdoch).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JojnoSO4MDc

Will watch a bit of that when I get home. That whole test series was quality. I'd forgotten about the last test but reading the Guardian article on it was quite enjoyable. Never knew Boucher was a racist :O


https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2017/jul/04/england-south-africa-1998-the-spin

[StandfreeFM]

All over. England win by 239 runs, Moeen Ali with a hatrick to wrap things up. Schloppy batting, particularly in the first innings cost the Saffers.

[57vintage]

All over. England win by 239 runs, Moeen Ali with a hatrick to wrap things up. Schloppy batting, particularly in the first innings cost the Saffers.

Ah well, **** cutting the grass and hairsting the ingins tonight then. Channel 5 highlights at 7pm, with the sound turned off and Paul Jones's Blues and Soul Show providing the soundtrack.

[Jupiter]

Geoffrey Boycott really got stitched up on test match special today.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p05b5j5t

[StandfreeFM]

Hopefully we get a close game at Old Trafford because the last three tests of the summer will be against as weak a Windies side that have ever toured here. Hey ho

Anyway, to matters at hand. England win the toss and bat. Another injudicious stroke from the callow Jennings sees him caught of an edge by the wicketkeeper for 17. He has that haunted look of soon-to-be-punted England openers, an Adam Lyth look so to speak.

Currently 66-1 in the 26th over, pitch looks nae bad.

[StandfreeFM]

Not sure how I feel about day/night tests. Hard to assess the conditions/pink ball etc because the Windies were predictably awful.

Last three hours looked like a stag-do in the Eric Hollies stand, funny for the guys in the commentary booths, probably less funny if you were there trying to watch the cricket. I've been at tests near the Barmy Army, rivaled only by the Tartan Army in their sanctimonious self satisfaction. I like a p!ss up as much as the next man but a little goes a long way when its stockbrokers and IT consultants boasting loudly about how much lager they've consumed (often not that much tbh), chiding folk for not joining in with their "banter" and singing the same daft songs over and over.

Good centuries for Chef and Roooooooot I suppose. Eng will start day 2 on 348-3, Cook 153*

[StandfreeFM]

Nae bother min :)

59-3, typically useless start fae England.

According to TMS:- "Over the last three years, in 64 innings, England have lost their third wicket at 55 or lower 23 times." That's absolutely appalling cricket.

Nae great today either. England currently 44-3. Roooooooooooooot just dropped on 8 so could have been worse.

[StandfreeFM]

Ooooohhhh the Stokey Cokey.

Him getting on the bowlers board reminded me to recommend Lord's tour.
If you've not been and were ever tempted, I'd highly recommend it. First class couple of hours - well worth it.

Now come on James...

Lords tour is excellent. Especially when you sit in the away dressing room and the auld mannie tour guide tells you you're sitting where Sachin Tendulker normally sits :O :)

Bowlers day yesterday. Normally want the test matches to last 5 days, in part for the benefit of the counties as well. But Lords/MCC are so rich and get double the tests of any other ground, they can go fu(k themselves. Wee Stokesy ton would do nicely today.

[xtrmntr75]

Looks like Wee Stokesy is out of the Ashes after the shenanigans in Bristol. Massive blow for Guff

[StandfreeFM]

Well, the least anticipated Ashes series in recent memory starts tonight. Two poor unsettled teams (each of the 2005 sides would have won 5-0 against a combined 2017 XI) begin at the Gabba in Brisbane, where England's record is total sh!te. On BT Sport so I personally will be listening to the radio instead.

Predictions:-

Aus will probably win 3-1 but there is plenty of weaknesses in the Aus lineup. If you can get Warner and Smith out cheaply, they don't really have much else. But they have home conditions going for them and a more balanced bowling attack (if they can stay healthy) which looks more likely to take 20 wickets than England's bowlers.

Most runs:-

Warner (A), Roooooooot (E)

Most Wickets

Starc (A), Woakes (E)

[donsdaft]

Oh good
It gives me something to listen to at night.

Test Match Special is not what it was mind
you.

[57vintage]

Plusnet have rented me the BT Sport app for £2.50 a month, and I figured that BT are going to make a loss on that, that **** Murdoch gets none, and I get the Ashes (a). Sso I'll get to see the denouement overnight (with TMS on) and for the next 5 weeks. Some of the times mean that I'll also get the first hour in the morning on my work PC.

None too confident without Stokes, but by **** that's an odd Ocker line-up.

[donsdaft]

I don't give a f'uck who wins.
Never have.

If pushed I would say I would prefer it if England got thumped but I'm almost as happy laughing at the Ozzies.

I remember when England were 66 all out against the West Indies though.
Anyone who doesn't like Test Match Special doesn't like words.

[57vintage]

I listened to that hammering by the Windies on a radio in the Beach End, funnily enough.

I see Nathan Lyon’s been bumping his gums about ‘ending England players’ careers’. That’ll make the first few overs tasty.

[donsdaft]

I've just slept through the first hour of the build up.

Bugger, I'll be up all night now.

My own fault for thinking " I'll just try this new pub" in the afternoon.

[57vintage]

Good deal. Folks still have Sky, looked into price of BT Sport via them for my dad for duration.
No go, astronomical, setup fee and fixed term contract. You'd think they'd have offers on but possibly sour-grapes?
Even if I could have afforded it, my old man wouldn't have been happy.

Thankfully friend with BT Sport has shared their log in.

Disappointed we're not even getting Ch5 highlights - I enjoy that show.
Be interesting to see how BT handle cricket.

The deal is £2.50/month for 6 months, then a fiver and I can cancel anytime. That means I can see The Ashes then get rid if I like.

Some throw by Lyon for that run-out.

Commentary not up to much, like Pointer's hair!

[donsdaft]

Radios been on all night.
Tried watching the first few overs on what was a very good stream ( no charge whatsoever) but they kept going to some sort of adverts between overs.

I have a very low tolerance of being advertised to ( I only made it to the first wicket) but that's unwatchable surely.

[57vintage]

“Pointer”???

Punter (it wanted to make that ‘Pinter’).

Bloody predictive text.

[57vintage]

Have Steve Smith and the fanny in our no 11 shirt ever been seen in the same room?

New ball.

[xtrmntr75]

No bad day for England. Pity Vince didn’t cling on for a ton.

[57vintage]

Pietersen and Swann both saying in the after-match summary that the batsmen should have gone after Lyon a bit more.

[StandfreeFM]

Test match nicely poised after 2 days. Already sick of the sight of Steve Smith but I guess I'm going to have to get used to it. If they can get him out early and restrict the tail, they can still go into the 2nd innings with a lead. Marsh is playing better than I ever thought possible but the bowlers kinda ran out of steam a bit when the ball started doing not very much. Fresh bowlers and the fact it should start reverse swinging shortly will give England some optimism.

[donsdaft]

Good start to a Saturday morning.

England making an a'rse of it and Geoffrey Boycott in the commentry box.

[xtrmntr75]

Poor predictable start to proceedings. Once again the batting was a total let down. Failing to convert decent starts into a good first innings score over400 which would have put the Aussies under pressure. Stokes already looking a big miss especially with the ball.

[StandfreeFM]

Great cricket just now although Aussies still favourites imo

England trail Australia by 228 runs with 7 wickets remaining

[StandfreeFM]

Last Ashes test at the WACA and it's shaping up to be a good one. Eng win the toss but lose Chef early, might be time we pull the shutters up. Nice stand from Vince and Stoneman, but they and cook are back in the hutch before an hitherto unbroken partnership from Bairstow 63* and Malan 93* put England 276/4 with 8 overs left in the day.

New ball is doing a bit tho...

Edit: Ton for Dawid Malan with his maiden ton for England, currently 106*. Well done sir :)

[StandfreeFM]

Well, the least anticipated Ashes series in recent memory starts tonight. Two poor unsettled teams (each of the 2005 sides would have won 5-0 against a combined 2017 XI) begin at the Gabba in Brisbane, where England's record is total sh!te. On BT Sport so I personally will be listening to the radio instead.

Predictions:-

Aus will probably win 3-1 but there is plenty of weaknesses in the Aus lineup. If you can get Warner and Smith out cheaply, they don't really have much else. But they have home conditions going for them and a more balanced bowling attack (if they can stay healthy) which looks more likely to take 20 wickets than England's bowlers.

Most runs:-

Warner (A), Roooooooot (E)

Most Wickets

Starc (A), Woakes (E)

Well what a load of p!sh that was. Never had any answer as how to get Steve Smith out or how to deal with mildly fast bowling. Vince and Stoneman will probably get another chance only because there is no-one else knocking on the door. Woakes was pretty innocuous, Root failed to convert as per, and Broad and Ali look pretty easy to play against and should lose their places. Anderson by far the best of England's bowlers but he can't have much more to give.

4-0 is about right. From very early on it was clear Oz had the best opener (Warner), superior spinner (Lyon), Best bowling attack (Cummins, Starc and Hazlewood) and best individual batsman (Smith).

[StandfreeFM]

Apologies, I've been a tad lax in posting in this thread recently due to the arrival of StandfreeFM Jnr. Have I missed anything interesting in the World of Cricket?

[57vintage]

Apologies, I've been a tad lax in posting in this thread recently due to the arrival of StandfreeFM Jnr. Have I missed anything interesting in the World of Cricket?

David Warner is confirmed as being a bullying bellend who swicks when he disna get his ain way. W@nker.

[StandfreeFM]

David Warner is confirmed as being a bullying bellend who swicks when he disna get his ain way. W@nker.

I'm nae actually that fussed about the whole thing, but the aussies seem to be getting their knickers in a twist bigtime about it. Looks like they are scapegoating Warner to save Smith the batsman (doubt he will be captain again). Warner's a d!ck anyway so I'm ok if he never plays test cricket again.

[donsdaft]

Is that the equivalent of John Arlott on “ open all mikes” ?

[donsdaft]

Bloody hell.

Never listened to talksport and it doesn't look like I ever will.

I have really no interest in cricket but was a real fan of Test Match Special back in the day, mid seventies to early nineties.

Sheer talent, a joy to listen to, particularly if it was raining and there was no play.

I hate f'uckin advertising.

[InversneckieDob]

I used to listen to Talksport occasionally but after hearing Mike Parry I always felt like I needed to shower, particularly if he was on with that, utter, utter, utter illness Brazil.

[StandfreeFM]

The advertising will be annoying as fu(k ("That dismissal was brought to you by Ronseal", "It's a Enterprise Rent-a-Car Maximum") and if they go for constant bantz, I for one shan't be listening.

Harmy, Goughy and Bumble getting mentioned for this talksport gig, Harmy's ok, the other two are northern versions of the Blowers caricature. Just as long as Swanny doesn't transfer over his unique blokey charm...

[Jupiter]

More stupidity in cricket, there is going to be a new 100 ball competition in England.

[sheepcrooky]

More stupidity in cricket, there is going to be a new 100 ball competition in England.

And that is a ****ing shocker. 20/20 is growing on me, but an even shorter version ?GTF. What next, a one over shootout ? Give me test cricket any day.

[Jupiter]

I've never liked 20-20, it's just a slogfest.

It'll be 10-10 in a few years, then 5-5.

[StandfreeFM]

20/20 is just cricket for (unts that don't like cricket. 100 ball competition sounds even worse, lop-sided, gimmicky and hopefully falls flat on it's @rse.

The Bowlers Fraternity should down tools and force them to use bowling machines as there is, as ever, fu(k all in this for bowlers.

[57vintage]

16.4:16.4.

Snappy title for rounders-lite.

What a ****ing pool of pish.

[thebeachend]

Some cracking matches in the IPL this year. Tonight's win for RR was brilliant TV. Thinking Sunrisers are going aĺl the way. Or Mumbai next best.

[Jupiter]

Wrong thread, the IPL isn't proper mannies cricket.

[57vintage]

Wrong thread, the IPL isn't proper mannies cricket.

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Applause all round the ground.

[StandfreeFM]

Well, first test match of the summer begins today with Pakistan the visitors to Lords. 20/20 specialist/walking wicket Joss Buttler is drafted back into the side in place of flashy failure James Vince. The Rootmiester General moves up to 3 and 14 year old Dom Bess surprisingly given the chance as England's premier spin bowler. Still start as favourites against a rebuilding Pakistan side who struggled to put away the Irish.

Top wicket taker - Anderson, Abbas
Top run scorer - Stoneman, Sohail
Series prediction - Eng 2 Pak 0

[Jupiter]

First day of the first test match of the summer and already an England collapse. Some things never change.

[StandfreeFM]

"Top run scorer - Stoneman"

13 runs over 2 innings, looked like he wanted to be anywhere else but Lords and papped out the team in place of Jennings. Top tipping from yours truly.

Awful test from England. These collapses, especially the top order ones, are becoming far too frequent. I don't know why Root's captaincy isn't coming under more scrutiny.

[Jupiter]

One of England's problems is that they play so much one day cricket that their batsmen don't have the patience to bat properly in test matches. Hence all these collapses.

[xtrmntr75]

"I don't know why Root's captaincy isn't coming under more scrutiny.

Tufnell and Vaughan were saying summit similar on’t wireless the other night. If it’s affecting his batting which it looks like it is, then he must step down.

As a top order they are shocking. Geoffrey used to say that your top 5 should be scoring centuries every five tests. The players just aren’t being coached to build innings any more. It’s pretty poor.

[57vintage]

A bit better today though. The visitors’ top order oot before the stovies are served, and lovely bowling by Woakes.

[57vintage]

79-7. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Ball swinging like a Westhill hoosewife when Tarquin and Jocasta are at nursery.

[Jupiter]

Looks like we will have to wait until tomorrow for the England collapse.

[dons8321]

Surprised that no-one has posted about Scotland beating England today in the 50-over version. Will certainly enjoy going to work on Tuesday as my boss is a huge cricket and rugby fan which makes it a double whammy - probably not the best time to ask for a pay rise).

[StandfreeFM]

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaas get it right up you guffy, Morris dancing, bowler hat wearing, Nigel fu(ks.

England cricket supporting will start again 2mrw

[StandfreeFM]

Now this is Proper Mannies Cricket, nae Hobart Hurricanes verses Birmingham Bears or any o that p!sh. Proper 5 Test series, England v India, proper grounds n all (apart fae the Rose Bowl 4th test).

India traditionally do not travel well but this is a very different side and a very different captain in Virat Kohli. His record in England is pretty poor but I expect that will change in the next couple of months. As ever, their batsmen are better than their bowlers but Ashwin is the top spinner on either side by a long way.

Intriguing series for England Coach and Captain. Win and everything is peachy. Lose and I can see both punted and Morgan brought in to see if he can work wonders with the red ball team in the same way he has transformed the ODI side (apart fae getting their @rse handed to them by Scotland obvs :o)

Collapses have been all too common and 134-5 seems to be a position England find themselves in far too often. Stokes being back adds some balance to the team and the controversial selection of Rashid, who no longer wants to play County Cricket, puts a lot of pressure on the money grabbing leg spinner.

Teams:-

England XI: Alastair Cook, Jennings, Joe Root, Dawid Malan, Bairstow, Stokes, Buttler, Curran, Adil Rashid, Stuart Broad, James Anderson.

India XI: Shikhar Dhawan, Murali Vijay, KL Rahul, Virat Kohli, Ajinkya Rahane, Dinesh Karthik, Hardik Pandya, Ravichandran Ashwin, Mohammed Shami, Umesh Yadav, Ishant Sharma.

Score Prediction - England 1, India 3
Top Scorer - Eng - Bairstow, Ind - Kohli
Top Wicket taker - Eng - Anderson, Ind - Ashwin

England win toss and will bat.

[Jupiter]

Another England collapse, they are so predictable.

[claw84]

The test against India was edge of the seat stuff, good viewing, and England beat the World champs.

[donsdaft]

F'uck England



Whatever sport they're playing.

[claw84]

F'uck England



Whatever sport they're playing.

Get a life Donsdaft, you sound like a bitter old man.

[57vintage]

The test against India was edge of the seat stuff, good viewing, and England beat the World champs.

I was being transported along Shawlands Road when Stoke bagged the Indian captain. My shout of “yaaaaas!” was probably ill-advised given Govanhill has many many people from the sub-continent as residents.

I think I got away with it, though.

[donsdaft]

Get a life Donsdaft, you sound like a bitter old man.

And you sound like an English loving poofter.

[xtrmntr75]

Now this is Proper Mannies Cricket, nae Hobart Hurricanes verses Birmingham Bears or any o that p!sh. Proper 5 Test series, England v India, proper grounds n all (apart fae the Rose Bowl 4th test).

India traditionally do not travel well but this is a very different side and a very different captain in Virat Kohli. His record in England is pretty poor but I expect that will change in the next couple of months. As ever, their batsmen are better than their bowlers but Ashwin is the top spinner on either side by a long way.

Intriguing series for England Coach and Captain. Win and everything is peachy. Lose and I can see both punted and Morgan brought in to see if he can work wonders with the red ball team in the same way he has transformed the ODI side (apart fae getting their @rse handed to them by Scotland obvs :o)

Collapses have been all too common and 134-5 seems to be a position England find themselves in far too often. Stokes being back adds some balance to the team and the controversial selection of Rashid, who no longer wants to play County Cricket, puts a lot of pressure on the money grabbing leg spinner.

Teams:-

England XI: Alastair Cook, Jennings, Joe Root, Dawid Malan, Bairstow, Stokes, Buttler, Curran, Adil Rashid, Stuart Broad, James Anderson.

India XI: Shikhar Dhawan, Murali Vijay, KL Rahul, Virat Kohli, Ajinkya Rahane, Dinesh Karthik, Hardik Pandya, Ravichandran Ashwin, Mohammed Shami, Umesh Yadav, Ishant Sharma.

Score Prediction - England 1, India 3
Top Scorer - Eng - Bairstow, Ind - Kohli
Top Wicket taker - Eng - Anderson, Ind - Ashwin

England win toss and will bat.


Get you, Mark Nicholas. Top preview

[xtrmntr75]

I was being transported along Shawlands Road when Stoke bagged the Indian captain. My shout of “yaaaaas!” was probably ill-advised given Govanhill has many many people from the sub-continent as residents.

I think I got away with it, though.

Wouldnae worry yersel Vin. Govanhill full of Slovaks and Romanies now who aren’t bothered about the cricket.

[xtrmntr75]

Congrats to the Burnley Express on 5-20. Still got it, our Jimmy.

Strong batting from Alistair and Joe will set up the win.

[57vintage]

The India attack can swing it around as well, although hardly roon corners like Jimmy, and conditions will be less stressful for England’s top order. If we get the full day, 240 should be a good total, playing prudently, judging the movement. I’ll switch on TMS shortly, as I don’t need the distraction right now.

[StandfreeFM]

... As ever, their batsmen are better than their bowlers...

I don't half talk a load of sh!t :D

Exciting test but if you take away the rain delays, it was finished within 2 days. Conditions benefited England greatly and they bowled well but the no1 test ranked team in the world should be able to put up a little bit more of a stiffer resistance. Great batting from Woakes and Bairstow.

I blame 20/20

[Jupiter]

India were unlucky having to bat in the worst of the weather, but there is no excuse in being all out for about 100.

I blame 20-20 too.

[Jupiter]

The names of the 12 jurors on the Ben Stokes trial have just been released:

Joe Root, James Anderson, Jonny Bairstow, Stuart Broad, Jos Buttler, Alastair Cook, Sam Curran, Keaton Jennings, Ollie Pope, Jamie Porter, Chris Woakes and Alex Hales.

[Mason89]

Doesn’t look like the players have the attention span for Test cricket anymore.

[Jupiter]

All out in 38 overs is pathetic

[57vintage]

Doesn’t look like the players have the attention span for Test cricket anymore.

The Bashes and the IPL have a lot to answer for. **** yer baseball.

It’s good to see Ben Stokes and Chris Woakes in the side though, as they’re rhyming slang for each other.

[Mason89]

Saw this on twitter

England did not lose 10 wickets in a session between 1938 and 2016. Today is the 3rd time they have done this in 2 years (24 Tests). Others: v Bangladesh at Mirpur 2016 and v NZ Auckland 2018.

20/20 has a lot to answer for

[57vintage]

Saw this on twitter

England did not lose 10 wickets in a session between 1938 and 2016. Today is the 3rd time they have done this in 2 years (24 Tests). Others: v Bangladesh at Mirpur 2016 and v NZ Auckland 2018.

20/20 has a lot to answer for

From 1938 to 2016 is only 38 minutes. Holy ****. Something to do with the floodlights, I suppose.

I’ve never got the ODI format for international cricket. Limited overs is for minor league weekend cricket. The Highland League was 25 overs, ideal if half the team worked Saturday morning and a match started at 2.30.

20/20’s even worse, and If this 100 ball idea is introduced, it really will be the end.

[Mason89]

The bowlers should just roll out 100 Trevor Chappell deliveries in protest

[StandfreeFM]

India set England 498 to win in two full days. I doubt they will get within 250 tbh and will be bowled out at some point today. Another one-sided test but at least it sets up the rest of the series to be interesting.

[StandfreeFM]

66-4 but with Bairstow injured, it's effectively 66-5. P!ss poor from England to be honest.

[Mason89]

Why the f*ck are they trying to play shots?

[StandfreeFM]

"I just play my natural game blah blah blah"

Braindead 20/20 (unts who only know how to play one way.

[Jupiter]

At least they put up a bit of a fight for a change.

[StandfreeFM]

India set England 498 to win in two full days. I doubt they will get within 250 tbh and will be bowled out at some point today. Another one-sided test but at least it sets up the rest of the series to be interesting.

Another incorrect prediction...

To be fair, it looked like this would be the case for long parts of yesterday especially when Stokes got out but fair play to Rashid and Anderson for hanging about.

All over now tho, lasted 17 balls this morning and India win by 203 runs. Interesting to see if any changes to England side before the Rose Bowl, starting next thursday.

[57vintage]

Curran in for Woakes (injured).

Moen Ali in for Pope to allow for Stokes to take a breather with the ball as he has a slight knee problem (probably gave somebody een in the knackers after a pint or two).

Buttler at back doggie, but Bairstow's bust finger still allows him to bat, up at fourth in the order.

I normally have a good overview of the grounds and how the pitches are likely to play. Southampton? Nuh.

Maybe a south coast Freemantle Doctor? A deceptive Lords' lateral slope? Damp seaside air for a bit of swing?

Dinna ken.

A interesting 3, 4 or 5 days ahead.

[StandfreeFM]

England 36-4...

Pitch meant to be pretty favorable for batting but another predictable batting collapse puts England in the sh!t. Weather permitting, this won't go anywhere near 5 days.

[Mason89]

Saw the wickets on the news. Minging

[57vintage]

Been away oot lubricating the wheels of capitalism without too much overt grimacing, and I come back to witness a scorecard of 71/5.

Overt grimacing begins.

Holy ****. :mad:

[StandfreeFM]

The Jennings wicket is absurd. It's almost as if he's never seen a cricket ball before. Boys mind is scrambled.

[57vintage]

The Jennings wicket is absurd. It's almost as if he's never seen a cricket ball before. Boys mind is scrambled.

His test batting profile:

Mat 10
Inns 18
NO 0
Runs 417
HS 112
Ave 23.16
BF 943
SR 44.22
100 1
50 1
4s 56
6s 0
Ct 6
St 0

[StandfreeFM]

His test batting profile:

Mat 10
Inns 18
NO 0
Runs 417
HS 112
Ave 23.16
BF 943
SR 44.22
100 1
50 1
4s 56
6s 0
Ct 6
St 0

I don't know what you are trying to suggest Vintage old boy, that he is clearly an experienced batsman or that his test record isnae very good? Take that initial ton away and his avg is paltry as fu(k (17.9).

89-6

[57vintage]

His concentration is in question for a top order batsman.

One century, and one half century (the same innings, of course), and an average of 23.16 is more Chris Tavare than Marcus Trescothick or Graham Gooch, although at least Tavare's slow and dull accumulation at least meant he was holding up an end for a shotmaker to nudge the total along, and bore the fielders into torpor.

Tavare:

M 31
Runs 1755
HS 149
Ave 32.5
100s 2
50s 12

[StandfreeFM]

Agreed, he just looks lost at this level.

Point of order re cricket stats:- once you reach your ton, it replaces your fifty. For example Jennings ton was in mumbai, his fifty was in chennai.

[57vintage]

Agreed, he just looks lost at this level.

Point of order re cricket stats:- once you reach your ton, it replaces your fifty. For example Jennings ton was in mumbai, his fifty was in chennai.

Gotcha.

[57vintage]

Very good interview with Gooch, looking at the batting issues, on Radio 4 right now (0727).

[StandfreeFM]

Very good interview with Gooch, looking at the batting issues, on Radio 4 right now (0727).

Fit did he say? Probably something like "Well since you sacked me and employed Ramps, but it's so gratifying to leave you wallowing in the mess you've made. You're screwed, thank you, bye.

[57vintage]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/45366928

[StandfreeFM]

Cracking test match. India need 99 with 5 wickets remaining

[57vintage]

Tidy victory after a very dodgy start. Moen Ali’s wicket haul and young Curran’s fearlessness with the bat were the difference. Ashwin’s injury counted against India as it affected his action considerably. He’d have liked that third day pitch.

Now for the Oval and its bad light.

[StandfreeFM]

Chef to retire after next test. 160 Test matches so far, Runs - 12,254, Avg - 44.88. Great player in his day but it's been sad to see him struggle in the last couple of years. Ashes 2010/11 probably will be what he is best remembered for.

[57vintage]

Huge, well-deserved emotional reception for Chef’s final Test innings. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Jennings though, min. For fox ache, even when I was swatting wildly at 40mph trundlers in the nets, the first rule of batting was “protect the furniture”.

Cricbuzz has a good graphic showing the number of consecutive Tests that openers have gone without scoring 50. Jennings is on there after 20 innings.

He’s now a toast batsman.

[Mason89]

Just saw the Jennings wicket, that’s an incredible ball to leave. They would be as well sticking me out there

[57vintage]

Just saw the Jennings wicket, that’s an incredible ball to leave. They would be as well sticking me out there

I was unable to listen to TMS today, and am still on the Indian second innings on C5 highlights, but I’m prepared to believe that Yorkshire Rhubarb Cricketing Equipment Inc got a free ad after what I saw online.

[StandfreeFM]

Just saw the Jennings wicket, that’s an incredible ball to leave. They would be as well sticking me out there

It was appalling. He doesn't seem to know the difference between one that swings away and an inswinger.

Chef 70* in his last test match innings. Hope to fu(k he can get a century but he probably won't now that I've jinxed him.

[StandfreeFM]

Chef 70* in his last test match innings. Hope to fu(k he can get a century but he probably won't now that I've jinxed him.

Congratulations Chef

Now stop f@nnying about and go on and get a daddy hundred...

[57vintage]

Congratulations Chef

Now stop f@nnying about and go on and get a daddy hundred...

...and Roooooooooot follows with a ton of his own. ('tonne' to annoy the leave voters).

[StandfreeFM]

Both Rooooooot and Chef out in two balls.

From the bbc:-

So Alastair Cook finishes with 33 Test centuries, 12,472 runs at an average of 45.35.

He batted for 37,308 mins or 621 hours 48 minutes.

He hit 1,442 fours, plus three all-run fours, 11 sixes and four fives (including the one that took him to his hundred today).

He faced 20,038 dot balls, scored 3803 singles, 980 twos and 281 threes.

[Jupiter]

India have given up

Why is he called chef?

[krakowdon]

Why is he called chef?

I presume it's because he's got chocolate salty balls.

[StandfreeFM]

Last session of the English test summer. India need 140 runs with 5 wickets in hand. I reckon it will be a draaaaa

[57vintage]

Last session of the English test summer. India need 140 runs with 5 wickets in hand. I reckon it will be a draaaaa

Rashid spins it roon a corner to bowl Rahul. What a delivery.

Then he and Moeen combine to pull Pant's pants doon.

330-7 off 84. India still 134 short, with Jadeja and Sharma at the crease. Minimum of 23 overs left.

**** 20-20 and ODI, this is Proper Mannies'.

[donsdaft]

Proper Wifies Cricket, you're going to have to call it from now on.


What's with the a'rsehole greetin because an Aussie called him names a few years ago?


F'uckin woofter.

[StandfreeFM]

Afternoon Vintage, Afternoon Everyone.

Apologies for not bumping this up sooner all you Proper Mannies Cricket fans. First test match of the season for England and they've started off typically poorly. Windies currently lead England by 378 runs with 4 wickets remaining after England collapsed yesterday for 77. Experimental look to this side with Broad dropped for the dwarf Sam Curran, twa spinners picked, new no 3 and new opening pair.

Windies looked good so far which is always nice. I don't mind them or Pakistan winning the odd test match, good for the game.

[dons8321]

Afternoon Vintage, Afternoon Everyone.

Apologies for not bumping this up sooner all you Proper Mannies Cricket fans. First test match of the season for England and they've started off typically poorly. Windies currently lead England by 378 runs with 4 wickets remaining after England collapsed yesterday for 77. Experimental look to this side with Broad dropped for the dwarf Sam Curran, twa spinners picked, new no 3 and new opening pair.

Windies looked good so far which is always nice. I don't mind them or Pakistan winning the odd test match, good for the game.


No wickets today (into the final session)...Windies lead almost 700. Think England might struggle to win this one.

[StandfreeFM]

No wickets today (into the final session)...Windies lead almost 700. Think England might struggle to win this one.

Yeah, left themselves an uphill task...

Well done Jason Holder. 202* and declare

[WatsonNimrod]

HAHA.

I heard all the usual suspects being interviewed over the last few days before it started, to a man all predicted a 3-0 whitewash.

The arrogance was astounding.

[57vintage]

**** you Smith.

Up yer arse with a rusty Foster’s six/pack Warner you utter ****ing **** of **** City, **** County, ****ania.

[57vintage]

**** you, warner. XD


19-3.

[WatsonNimrod]

Hmm, the usual suspects have Engerland winning this already.

I'm happy for them to have their day in the sun pumping a weak Aussie side only to get Battered by the Kiwis at the weekend in the final

[StandfreeFM]

Still a bit to go but England were excellent in the field.

[57vintage]

124/0. 100 to win in 32 overs. Bairstow's hurt his ankle, it seems. He warmed up in front of us at Headingley v Sri Lanka. He's a well-built loon. Muscles on his spit by the look of him. And a ginge.

[57vintage]

EIGHT wicket victory.

Probably by 7.9 if you sandpaper it down a bit.

**** off Warner. GIRFUY.

[sheepcrooky]

TBF, England have played hard. Getting beat 3 out of 7 basically meant every game from then on was a knockout cup tie. To have then beat India, NZ, Australia in a row under pressure is pretty good.

To me, it is mostly down to the return of Jason Roy from injury.

[57vintage]

TBF, England have played hard. Getting beat 3 out of 7 basically meant every game from then on was a knockout cup tie. To have then beat India, NZ, Australia in a row under pressure is pretty good.

To me, it is mostly down to the return of Jason Roy from injury.

Roy’s recovery has been a major factor. He’s talismanic, and even his occasional mis-hits are performed with such power that he gets away with it.

The bowling, though, in the last three ***** games has been world class, yesterday in ripping the heart out of the top order (fuuck YOU, Warner), and in limiting the potential for India’s classy batsmen to post a big total.

Sunday will be tough, but I think England will see it through. And it’s on cooncil TV. I should be grateful to Sky for this concession, but they, and their sleazy, politically-interfering owners can stop a full-powered Ben Stokes drive ‘amidships’ at short leg as far as I’m concerned.

EDIT: no idea why ***** has been censored. ‘V I T A L’ isna a tw@tting b@starding fuucker of a profanity these days, is it?

[Mason89]

Still not convinced this is the right place to discuss the one day game.

[StandfreeFM]

Still not convinced this is the right place to discuss the one day game.

Utterly correct. Standards are slipping. Next they will be discussing 20/20

[donsdaft]

Lets face it, supporting England is unacceptable.

[57vintage]

Lets face it, supporting England is unacceptable.

As you wish, but when I first took an interest when the monochrome BBC broadcast the 1965 Headingley Test against New Zealand, with Barrington, MJK Smith, Parfitt and Ballater resident JH Edrich 310*, I supported England in cricket as I’m still happy to do.

A year later, and four years after that in Mexico, everyone I knew supported England in the World Cup. I don’t now, but as has been discussed before, that has been largely down to press and media activity which you don’t get to anything like the same extent in cricket. You like Radio 4 - sit back and absorb the aural beauty of Test Match Special.

[donsdaft]

Don't listen to it now but was a fan of Test Match Special from way back in the John Arlott days.
Was always better when England got beaten though.

I also remember Mexico 1970

Great rejoicing when England got trounced 3-2 by the Germans.

Bobby Moore - necklace - etc.

[57vintage]

Don't listen to it now but was a fan of Test Match Special from way back in the John Arlott days.
Was always better when England got beaten though.

I also remember Mexico 1970

Great rejoicing when England got trounced 3-2 by the Germans.

Bobby Moore - necklace - etc.

Where’s the bracelet?
Where’s the bracelet?
Where’s the bracelet, Bobby Moore?
In yer handbag
It’s in yer handbag
In yer handbag
Bobby Moore.

XD

[donsdaft]

You may well be right with the bracelet/ necklace correction but the second last line of that song was definitely " you're a p'oofter"

[donsdaft]

Either way I think we can agree that the art of the football chant has lost it's way.

I blame the introduction of soft toilet paper.

[StandfreeFM]

Slow start. Kiwis 56-1 after 14 overs. I think this will be close.

Not that fussed who wins tbh.

[irnbru1903]

Winners chosen by some obscure rule in the end. Nothing to do with the fact the winners had no batsmen left at the end of the game.

Sport is truly phucked.

[Jupiter]

That's an absurd way to decide a game of cricket. Why not play more super overs until it isn't a tie.

Anyway, I always thought that in a tie the team that lost the fewest wickets was the winner, that would be a more sensible way to decide it.

[Donanddusted]

Anyway, I always thought that in a tie the team that lost the fewest wickets was the winner, that would be a more sensible way to decide it.

Indeed. Bast@rds!

[irnbru1903]

Nothing better than celebrating a dodgy victory and passing it off as a great one. Insufferable.

[Jupiter]

And how was that throw that deflected off the batsman for 4 allowed to count?

England really are jammy f@cking b@stards.

[Mason89]

13194

[InversneckieDob]

And how was that throw that deflected off the batsman for 4 allowed to count?

England really are jammy f@cking b@stards.
That's what gets me.
That 4 overthrows got the Wendys back in the game.
It's within the rules but the rules are wrong.
That simple.

[LED]

That's what gets me.
That 4 overthrows got the Wendys back in the game.
It's within the rules but the rules are wrong.
That simple.
Not that I support England, but that overthrow are OK. Given the state of play, I don't understand why the kiwi fielder there to the stumps.

Would have never happened in Aberdeen grades cricket.

[57vintage]

That's what gets me.
That 4 overthrows got the Wendys back in the game.
It's within the rules but the rules are wrong.
That simple.

Poor fielding. Stokes was so wide of the crease when he dived home that there’s every chance the return would have gone for overthrows. Poor fielding too when the boy forgot to check his position and trod on the boundary rope when trying to catch Stokes’s skied effort. These are basic fielding errors caused, probably, by the adrenalin and nervous energy these guys were running on. That straightforward dropped c&b too was NZ’s own doing.

The rules are clear, and are accepted by all teams who enter the tournament, which despite my preference for the Proper Mannies’ athletic chess of a five-dayer, provided the most outrageously-exciting hour of cricket since that Sunday morning at Edgbaston in 2005.

I felt sorry for New Zealand. I thought their fielding, especially the placement of boundary-denying men inside the inner boundary, really pinned England’s shot-makers down, and I saw it going the same way as the Headingley test v Sri Lanka, which was a brilliant day out.

It’s been a terrific tournament, and now the Ashes to follow. Yas.

[StandfreeFM]

.... and now the Ashes to follow. Yas.

Proper. Mannies. Cricket.

[Donanddusted]

That's what gets me.
That 4 overthrows got the Wendys back in the game.
It's within the rules but the rules are wrong.
That simple.

https://www.foxsports.com.au/cricket/icc-world-cup/cricket-world-cup-2019-final-simon-taufel-claims-grave-error-made-awarding-england-six-runs/news-story/df8fb4f013f4f6fa4ae04cff9b7cb105

Cricket World Cup 2019 final: Simon Taufel claims ‘clear mistake’ made awarding England six runs

They should be made to hand the trophy over to NZ.:mad:

[StandfreeFM]

https://www.foxsports.com.au/cricket/icc-world-cup/cricket-world-cup-2019-final-simon-taufel-claims-grave-error-made-awarding-england-six-runs/news-story/df8fb4f013f4f6fa4ae04cff9b7cb105

Cricket World Cup 2019 final: Simon Taufel claims ‘clear mistake’ made awarding England six runs

They should be made to hand the trophy over to NZ.:mad:

Interesting. I did think this at the time. If they had completed another run while the ball was heading to the boundary, would this have been 7 runs? Kane should have questioned it

[57vintage]

https://www.foxsports.com.au/cricket/icc-world-cup/cricket-world-cup-2019-final-simon-taufel-claims-grave-error-made-awarding-england-six-runs/news-story/df8fb4f013f4f6fa4ae04cff9b7cb105

Cricket World Cup 2019 final: Simon Taufel claims ‘clear mistake’ made awarding England six runs

They should be made to hand the trophy over to NZ.:mad:

Old news min. This was debated hours after the finish.

I want the 1979 League Cup then, since Ian Foot swicked us oot of it, and the victims will want the 1990 Scottish Cup as we had an extra player in the box when Dobbin scored the winner.

[Donanddusted]

Deal.

[Devanha Red]

"Bobby Moore, Bobby Moore running from the Den,
Bobby Moore, Bobby Moore he had *** with men,
Queer as they come,
He took it up the bum,
Bobby moore, Bobby Moore is no more".

Horrid little ditty sung by some Millwall homophobes to the tune of 'Robin Hood".

[StandfreeFM]

I'm not sure this counts as Proper Mannies Cricket, but technically it's the first test of the summer so here goes.

England v Ireland today at Lords. One off 4 day test, 98 overs in a day, very much has a weird experimental feel about it. In that vein, England are batting and Jason Roy's first test innings goes as well as you would expect and he's out for 5. Potential World Cup hangover might be avoided as the teams are vastly different. England should win easy, around 150 run victory i reckon.

England: Jason Roy, Rory Burns, Joe Denly, Joe Root (capt), Jonny Bairstow (wk), Moeen Ali, Chris Woakes, Sam Curran, Jack Leach, Stuart Broad, Olly Stone.

Ireland: William Porterfield (capt), Paul Stirling, Andy Balbirnie, James McCollum, Kevin O'Brien, Gary Wilson (wk), Mark Adair, Andy McBrine, Stuart Thompson, Boyd Rankin, Tim Murtagh.

27/1 after 7.4 overs

[StandfreeFM]

...Potential World Cup hangover might be avoided as the teams are vastly different. England should win easy, around 150 run victory i reckon...



England 43/7

[StandfreeFM]

85 all out. Fu(kin pish fae England. Roooooooooot Oooooooooooot

[donsdaft]

Oh, what a shame.

[Donanddusted]

They have spent an awful lot of time and effort into getting the one day team to where they wanted. The test side has suffered as a result.
I wonder just how ready they are for the Aussies.

[StandfreeFM]

Ireland need 182 runs to win. 4th innings chases are always daunting and history suggests they will fall short. but tbh, as much as I want England to win the Ashes, I wouldn't mind Ireland winning this today. Gives encouragement to smaller cricketing nations such as ourselves to aim high.

Covers are coming off so play should begin shortly...

[StandfreeFM]

...I wouldn't mind Ireland winning this today...

Ire 24/5 off 9.3 overs

[StandfreeFM]

England should win easy, around 150 run victory i reckon.



England win by 143 runs B)

[57vintage]

https://www.icc-cricket.com/media-releases/1296025

The ****?

Are the rankings not enough?

And only 2 x 5-test series included (England v India and the Ashes)?

Money talking again, I suppose.

[Donanddusted]

I can see the series being low scoring, possibly for both sides.

[57vintage]

I think you're right. I'll be gobsmacked if any get into the fifth day.

Good bowling attacks, jittery batting.

[StandfreeFM]

I think you're right. I'll be gobsmacked if any get into the fifth day.

Good bowling attacks, jittery batting.

Morning Vintage, Morning everyone

Now this is Proper Mannies Cricket. 1st morning of an Ashes series, Edgebaston looking resplendent, 2 deeply flawed teams about to do battle. 2005 this ain't.

As Vin and Don both allude to, the bowling attacks look to be more impressive than the batting line-ups. England in particular look to be deeply unsettled with about 7 guys who should be coming in at number 6. But, if we get a couple of flat tracks, we could see some centuries. I would love a couple of close 5 day games, hate it when 1 side seems to give up just after lunch on day 2 and end up losing by an innings and 43 runs. But rumour is England want result pitches so there should be a few boring one-sided tests.

Heart:- Eng 3 - Aus 1
Head:- Eng 2 - Aus 2

Teams - England: Rory Burns, Jason Roy, Joe Root (c), Joe Denly, Jos Buttler, Ben Stokes, Jonny Bairstow (wk), Moeen Ali, Chris Woakes, Stuart Broad, James Anderson.

Australia: David Warner, Cameron Bancroft, Usman Khawaja, Steven Smith, Travis Head, Matthew Wade, Tim Paine (c & wk), James Pattinson, Pat Cummins, Peter Siddle, Nathan Lyon

Most Runs - Eng - Rooooooooooot, Aus - Warner
Most Wickets - Eng - Woakes, Aus - Cummins

Aussies win the toss and will bat

[57vintage]

Morning Vintage, Morning everyone :heart:

BBC: "Warner survives ct behind appeal on 0". ****.

[StandfreeFM]

:heart:

BBC: "Warner survives ct behind appeal on 0". ****.

Out now tho :D

[57vintage]

SANDPAPER THAT YOU ****.

Yas min, Broady min.

[57vintage]

Aggers on TMS text: "I can see bits of sandpaper being waved as David Warner trudges off. What an exit." Yas.

[StandfreeFM]

Aggers on TMS text: "I can see bits of sandpaper being waved as David Warner trudges off. What an exit." Yas.

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/live-experience/cps/624/cpsprodpb/vivo/live/images/2019/8/1/f12cb632-e0ef-4efd-9628-81e5a0d1c6b5.jpg

[xtrmntr75]

Good start

[57vintage]

Yas.

See ye Bancroft. Lacking grit. Now for Smith.

[57vintage]

13413

[xtrmntr75]

Get Smith and they’re in a great position

[dons8321]

Get Smith and they’re in a great position

Currently 121-7 so not too shabby.

[Jupiter]

258-9 not shabby at all. England have screwed up here, Aussies could get 300 now.

[StandfreeFM]

Century for Burns 100* :D

Eng 205-4, 79 behind

[xtrmntr75]

England did ok yesterday but job only half done. Burns and Stokes have to get in again today. DRS worked for England yesterday. Did they say five decisions overturned, yet had Payne appealed a NO when Lyon thought he’d had Burns, he’d have been given out. Fine margins

[StandfreeFM]

Australia 64-2, 26 behind, Smith is 17*

Crucial part of the test match. If Smith is still in at close of play, I think the Aussies are favourites

[57vintage]

Khawaja gone. As we chanted in 1992, though, “Smith must go”.

[StandfreeFM]

Khawaja gone. As we chanted in 1992, though, “Smith must go”.

Really enjoyed this test thus far. Steve Smith looks to be the best batsman by a country mile, looks as if being an excaptain suits him. Root looks inferior.

[57vintage]

That’s a ****ing tough shift coming up tomorrow with a spinners’ wicket, a brittle batting line-up and Burnley’s best no 11 since John Connelly injured.

[Jupiter]

This is definitely not proper mannies cricket

https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2019/aug/08/cricket-australia-launches-inclusion-policy-for-transgender-and-gender-diverse-players

[Disco Buc]

Tried to play cricket once back in 68 it ended right there was absolutely useless.

[Donanddusted]

Tried to play cricket once back in 68 it ended right there was absolutely useless.

Useless you say?
England are looking for some fresh talent for the next Ashes test match.
You sound like just what they've got.;D

[Disco Buc]

Useless you say?
England are looking for some fresh talent for the next Ashes test match.
You sound like just what they've got.;D


Aye >;)

I would easy play for England I wouldn't be very good but I'd keep most of Scotland happy >:)

[StandfreeFM]

Morning Vintage, Morning Everyone.

First day of the Second test at Lords.

Predictions:-

https://www.abc.net.au/news/image/11202224-3x2-700x467.jpg

[57vintage]

Morning, Standers.

Rain? >:( Inspection at 1100?

Mitchell Johnson on TMS: "There will be a lot of excitement in the dressing room, especially among some of the young guys that haven't played here. I've never been at this side of the ground, looking at the dressing room. It's a special feeling, being here. The crowd always feels much more polite here. I've only just stopped hearing that Barmy Army song!"

[StandfreeFM]

I don't think it's raining just now and the covers are coming off but there is no inspection scheduled that I know of and the forecast is lousy

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/live-experience/cps/624/cpsprodpb/vivo/live/images/2019/8/14/77299c5f-8868-466c-9586-eef5d6f7e651.jpg

[57vintage]

TMS: "Inspection at 11:00 BST

Good (ish) news.

If there is no more rain then there'll be an inspection at 11:00 BST."

Although Aggers has just reported that the covers are going on again as light rain is falling. Ach.

[StandfreeFM]

I don't think there will be any play today tbh.

Morning off work tomorrow to take eldest to first day at school so will get to watch a couple of hours of live play rather than following score on tms/guardian/cricinfo. Looking forward to it (although 'er indoors probably has a job list as long as yer arm that she wants doing instead...)

[57vintage]

'er indoors

*and there's a huge appeal to the umpire* >;)

[StandfreeFM]

*and there's a huge appeal to the umpire* >;)

"...but she remains unmoved."

https://e0.365dm.com/18/01/2048x1152/skysports-joe-root-england-drs-sydney-test-ashes-review_4199596.jpg

[StandfreeFM]

Aussies win toss and will field.

I am washing the car...:blue:

[StandfreeFM]

England 155-6. Pretty dreadful tbh apart from Burns

[Jupiter]

258 all out, not too bad after being 136-6

[StandfreeFM]

Lot of rain about so I expect they will go off soon, probably for most if not all of the day.

2 wickets in the first hour tho, not too shabby.

61-3, Smith 1*, Head 0*

[StandfreeFM]

Draaaaa

Rain ruined what seemed a decent test. Good for England to have a bit of pace in Jofra. If Smith is out Headingley, you would think England are favourites. But both teams batting lineups are pretty pish tbh

[57vintage]

I saw the final couple of overs and highlights (controversy about a catch at forward short leg?), and Archer looks like a demon. Over five days I’m not sure England could have won it though.

Root looks like Botham in 81, with the captaincy a weight on his shoulders, though, and he needs to find form.

[StandfreeFM]

Morning Vintage, Morning Everyone.

3rd Ashes Test starts today at Headingley. Despite leading 1-0 Australia have a much changed side, some if it forced on them due to injury (Labuschagne for Smith), some of it because of form (Harris (?) for Bancroft and Pattinson for Siddle). This looks very much like a results pitch and weather (after a short delay this morning) looks to be just fine so Australia will either retain the Ashes or the score will be level.

England win the toss and will field.

Prediction:- Archer will bowl too short but it will be Broad and Woakes who do the damage. Roooooot to get a 1st innings century. England to win by 6 wickets and level the series

[Devanha Red]

One of the very few sports in which I ever find myself backing those horrible Australian larrikins.

Come on the convicts.

[StandfreeFM]

One of the very few sports in which I ever find myself backing those horrible Australian larrikins.

Come on the convicts.

That's quite enough from you S****/JJ

https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/simpsons/images/1/16/Guy_Incognito.png/revision/latest?cb=20180322134125

[Devanha Red]

That's quite enough from you S****/JJ

Wrong spy.

[57vintage]

Get that new ball right into the bottom of that **** Warner's face guard, Jofra min.

[Devanha Red]

Get that new ball right into the bottom of that **** Warner's face guard, Jofra min.

Hun.

[StandfreeFM]

Hun.

Terrible slur.

Vintage, get yer keys and lock JJ out the thread

[57vintage]

Umpire's call, and I'm assuming he's referring to the **** Warner.

Jingle-jangle though.....

[57vintage]

Highlights imminent on Cooncil TV C5. **** off Murdoch. 😡

[Donanddusted]

That "Jeffrey" Archer chap's a bit of a beast. 6 for 45.

[StandfreeFM]

That "Jeffrey" Archer chap's a bit of a beast. 6 for 45.

Showed he's not just a speed merchant and bowled excellently in the conditions and considering his stint at lords on Sunday. People who know a lot more about bowling than I do worry that his action and especially how he ends his run will lead to injury further down the road but he's great to watch just now.

[StandfreeFM]

...Roooooot to get a 1st innings century...

Out for a duck :O

[dons8321]

Out for a duck :O

56-8 3 overs after lunch. 2 teams with excellent bowling attacks and crap batsmen.

[StandfreeFM]

56-8 3 overs after lunch. 2 teams with excellent bowling attacks and crap batsmen.

Pretty much.

67ao, Aus 10-1 Warner out already, lbw Broad.

I don't fancy this england side chasing anything above 200 even on a day 2/3 pitch

[Jupiter]

Aussies 250 ahead now, that should be enough.

[57vintage]

Posting just to get this off Double Nelson... A Root innings at last?

[StandfreeFM]

Posting just to get this off Double Nelson... A Root innings at last?

Showing great awareness sir, and I applaud you for that. Much like Root and Denly today. Much better.

Get Roy tae fu(k tho and the systems still broken.

[Donanddusted]

One early wicket tomorrow and they'll fold like a pack of cards.
Australia strong favourites.

[StandfreeFM]

One early wicket tomorrow and they'll fold like a pack of cards.
Australia strong favourites.

Of course they are. Fu(kin hell Captain Obvious

[Donanddusted]

Quite.
It's also a mental thing.
They are playing a fourth innings on a three day old wicket which the commentators were saying looked fine for batting.
Conviction that you can do it and application could make it interesting.
Not that England have the players with the mental strength to play it as a war of attrition.

[Donanddusted]

Not that England have the players with the mental strength to play it as a war of attrition.

Never in doubt...

[Jupiter]

Aussies peed their pants there.

[57vintage]

FFS, driving across Glasgow listening to those final overs. Leach 1*, Stokes has balls of steel. Edgbaston 05, Parkhead 2014, the World Cup final, and now this. One of these brinkmanship days my ancient old heart will give out.

*Applause all round the ground*

[Devanha Red]

Cheating again. Huns.

[Jupiter]

Whopping mistake by the umpire at the end, how could he not see that lbw was plumb?

[57vintage]

Whopping mistake by the umpire at the end, how could he not see that lbw was plumb?

Maybe the Ockers should have reviewed it. Oh, hang on....
😆

Strewth.

[Jupiter]

Maybe the Ockers should have reviewed it. Oh, hang on....
��

Strewth.

That was stupid by the Aussies but it shows up the flaws in the video umpire rules. Instead of the players deciding what should be reviewed, the video umpire should decide by himself when he thinks the on pitch umpire has made a mistake.

[StandfreeFM]

That was stupid by the Aussies but it shows up the flaws in the video umpire rules. Instead of the players deciding what should be reviewed, the video umpire should decide by himself when he thinks the on pitch umpire has made a mistake.

Absolute horsesh!t

[Jupiter]

How about getting rid of the umpires and using technology for every decision. The umpires in this series have been shocking.

[RedStarTorphins]

How about getting rid of the umpires and using technology for every decision. The umpires in this series have been shocking.

It’s a very difficult job, but one of the umpires had SIX decisions overturned on review.

[RedStarTorphins]

Aussies peed their pants there.


That LBW review at the end wasn’t even close.
Desperation.
Ultimately cost them as they could’ve reviewed the LBW on Stokes when 2 runs were still needed.

[xtrmntr75]

Pretty much.

67ao, Aus 10-1 Warner out already, lbw Broad.

I don't fancy this england side chasing anything above 200 even on a day 2/3 pitch

What do you know!!

Geeso, that’s why we love Test Cricket. That was Headingley ‘81, Edgbaston ‘05 and Cardiff ‘09 over again. Due to work I had to put my phone away at 3.30, at 286-9.

That’s the game

[StandfreeFM]

What do you know!!

Geeso, that’s why we love Test Cricket. That was Headingley ‘81, Edgbaston ‘05 and Cardiff ‘09 over again. Due to work I had to put my phone away at 3.30, at 286-9.

That’s the game

That's indeed the game sir.

I was at Cardiff 09, don't know if I've mentioned it before...

[xtrmntr75]

That's indeed the game sir.

I was at Cardiff 09, don't know if I've mentioned it before...

You may have mentioned it. The final day or all of it?

Watched the highlights last night. Didn't realize the two slices of luck with Lyon's drop for the attempted run out then the wasted review before the LBW at the end.

Momentum with England

[Donanddusted]

Momentum with England

Indeed. However you don't want to face an Aussie team that feels scorned. They'll be really determined not to repeat their mistakes of this match.
Smith may well be back and Labuschagne is likely to be in the team.
England haven't figured them out yet.
They also need to address their batting problem which Stokes with a little help managed to cover the gaping cracks.

I'm going fo an Aussie win in the fourth test.

[RedStarTorphins]

Indeed. However you don't want to face an Aussie team that feels scorned. They'll be really determined not to repeat their mistakes of this match.
Smith may well be back and Labuschagne is likely to be in the team.
England haven't figured them out yet.
They also need to address their batting problem which Stokes with a little help managed to cover the gaping cracks.

I'm going fo an Aussie win in the fourth test.

I agree.
Aussies to win & retain the Ashes.
England talking about bringing in Anderson, which further weakens the batting as likely Woakes would get dropped.
That’s a long tail
Archer, Broad, Leach & Anderson.
The top 7 are flakey as hell.
Roy is not an opener.

Aussies will bring in Smith & Starc.

[StandfreeFM]

Morning Vintage, Morning Everyone.

Well, I think we needed a ten day break after Stokes heroics at Headingley. As good as the last couple of days were, it shouldn't hide the fact that England were atrocious in the first innings and if they don't post a good score here, the Ashes are surely gone.

Team news, For England, Overton comes in for Woakes and for the Aussies, Khawaja and Pattinson replaced by Smith and Starc.

England: 1 Burns, 2 Denly, 3 Root, 4 Roy, 5 Stokes, 6 Bairstow, 7 Buttler, 8 C Overton, 9 Archer, 10 Broad, 11 Leach

Australia: 1 Warner, 2 Harris, 3 LaBusChange, 4 Smith, 5 Head, 6 Wade, 7 Paine, 8 Cummins, 9 Starc, 10 Hazlewood, 11 Lyon

I would say Australia look a better team than last test and I don't rate Overton so I'm not super confident about England here.

Aussies win the toss and will bat.

Prediction:- Aussie win by 80 runs and the Ashes to go down under :(

[57vintage]

Morning all.

34-2’s a good start. Broad in the groove and Warner out for duck all. Yas.

Get Smith and it gets hooring interesting. The “get Smith” bit may be the snag, like.

[DonUnder]

good effort




"You have reached the voicemail of Steve Smith. I'm not out. Please leave a message after the tone."

[Pacman1903]

I thought proper mannies werent scared of the rain

Just saying like

[xtrmntr75]

That’s Smith back in the groove again. 67 NO at tea. It’s ***** they get him soon. Then again ....

[Jupiter]

I thought proper mannies werent scared of the rain

Just saying like

Rain would ruin the wicket and make batting a lottery