theCouncillor
24-07-2017, 12:36 AM
Hmmm...I don't think I have gone this far in the season without us having a prediction thread ..I suspect our lack of off-field signings has comatose us all..anyway I have bitten the bullet and started one...If It has gone before sincere apologies.
Incidentally for those who don't want to pore over all the individual squad assessments my erudite, "Pulitzer" summary is immediately below...
"Fck me, we are in deep deep trouble!"
Goalkeepers 5 out of 10
A giant "Meh" from me. I am not a big fan of Collin, though in his defence his defenders are his defence! He improved slightly as the season went on, but his positioning was poor throughout, and he made a habit of being beaten from seemingly incredible angles. The kind of keeper every league two forward looks forward to facing. In fact, even though he is now 104 years old and made his debut in the 1889 FA cup against the Corinthians would still rate Pilkinton as our best keeper. Sadly this is no joke.
Defence 4 out of 10
Whisper it low for fear of reprisals, but I think Hollis is the best of a poor bunch. He seems to have been around forever but is still only 24 which as a centre half is practically a tadpole in development. Having said that I don't think he is ever going to develop beyond league 1 level, but much of the abuse he gets is unjustified, and he is one our few defenders who looks likely to score. ~He never really recovered from the ludicrous decision to make him club captain by Derry. Tootle is a good player on his day, but sadly he doesn't make anything like the impact he should. Nolan must have had a bang on the head to describe Duffy as "probably our best player all season" when for much of it he was the worst, whilst Dickenson seems like a big lump who shouts a lot a la Guy Branston. Hewitt drifts out of the tough games against class opposition. Dan Jones, I have not seen, but my mate who is a Spirate described him as a "bad attitude on crutches". I doubt we will get a full season from him. I predict one thing. Mike Edwards will be a regular in defence by Xmas!
Midfield 5 out of 10
As Wafer thin as the cheese slice on a big Mac, this midfield terrifies me. A lot of pressure is on the two class ball players Grant and Milson, but one is too inconsistent and the other has no chance of lasting out the season with us. That leaves us poorly served by the rest. I am always bemused by the "love in" with Curtis Thompson. He has scored just one goal in his career which for a ball winning midfielder is just plain rubbish. I suspect that had he been born in Nuneaton rather than Nottingham most would be calling for his head by now. I have an idea. what about converting Alan Smith to Sweeper a la Dave McKay?. He still has a football brain and here the lack of speed isn't such a handicap. God knows our defence needs some brains. No? Ok, suit yourselves. In which case we will just have to sit him on the bench and watch his beard grow. O Conner has now reached the stage of his career we call "lumbering" and as he peaked about six seasons ago I suspect a mediocre one ahead. He has a good attitude and clearly gives his all, but frankly so do most professionals. it just not enough. I also can't understand a single word he says, but at least the 10 billion the DUP are getting for Ulster means his granny will get some nice new double glazing before Xmas. Sadly this may be his only highlight this year. Howes could be anything or nothing, and you are fooling yourself if you think Hawkridge will excel in the Somme conditions of winter football on league two pitches.
Forwards 9 out of 10
Yes, you heard me! if we can't score goals with this lot we are stuffed. Although they have the combined age of a Galapagos tortoise Stead, Ameobi and Forte are still class at this level. Stead, in particular, could score in a shoebox of space, is not greedy for a striker and only his poor heading skills let him down. Ameobi scares defenders to death creating pace for his colleagues and Forte could be a real asset if we played him as a forward and not a glorified winger. Add to this a decent signing in Allasendra and this is the one section of the field we needn't worry about. In fact, is there a formation called 3/2 5? Let's try it shall we it's our only hope.
Position finish - based on this squad with no additions 15th-17th.
Incidentally for those who don't want to pore over all the individual squad assessments my erudite, "Pulitzer" summary is immediately below...
"Fck me, we are in deep deep trouble!"
Goalkeepers 5 out of 10
A giant "Meh" from me. I am not a big fan of Collin, though in his defence his defenders are his defence! He improved slightly as the season went on, but his positioning was poor throughout, and he made a habit of being beaten from seemingly incredible angles. The kind of keeper every league two forward looks forward to facing. In fact, even though he is now 104 years old and made his debut in the 1889 FA cup against the Corinthians would still rate Pilkinton as our best keeper. Sadly this is no joke.
Defence 4 out of 10
Whisper it low for fear of reprisals, but I think Hollis is the best of a poor bunch. He seems to have been around forever but is still only 24 which as a centre half is practically a tadpole in development. Having said that I don't think he is ever going to develop beyond league 1 level, but much of the abuse he gets is unjustified, and he is one our few defenders who looks likely to score. ~He never really recovered from the ludicrous decision to make him club captain by Derry. Tootle is a good player on his day, but sadly he doesn't make anything like the impact he should. Nolan must have had a bang on the head to describe Duffy as "probably our best player all season" when for much of it he was the worst, whilst Dickenson seems like a big lump who shouts a lot a la Guy Branston. Hewitt drifts out of the tough games against class opposition. Dan Jones, I have not seen, but my mate who is a Spirate described him as a "bad attitude on crutches". I doubt we will get a full season from him. I predict one thing. Mike Edwards will be a regular in defence by Xmas!
Midfield 5 out of 10
As Wafer thin as the cheese slice on a big Mac, this midfield terrifies me. A lot of pressure is on the two class ball players Grant and Milson, but one is too inconsistent and the other has no chance of lasting out the season with us. That leaves us poorly served by the rest. I am always bemused by the "love in" with Curtis Thompson. He has scored just one goal in his career which for a ball winning midfielder is just plain rubbish. I suspect that had he been born in Nuneaton rather than Nottingham most would be calling for his head by now. I have an idea. what about converting Alan Smith to Sweeper a la Dave McKay?. He still has a football brain and here the lack of speed isn't such a handicap. God knows our defence needs some brains. No? Ok, suit yourselves. In which case we will just have to sit him on the bench and watch his beard grow. O Conner has now reached the stage of his career we call "lumbering" and as he peaked about six seasons ago I suspect a mediocre one ahead. He has a good attitude and clearly gives his all, but frankly so do most professionals. it just not enough. I also can't understand a single word he says, but at least the 10 billion the DUP are getting for Ulster means his granny will get some nice new double glazing before Xmas. Sadly this may be his only highlight this year. Howes could be anything or nothing, and you are fooling yourself if you think Hawkridge will excel in the Somme conditions of winter football on league two pitches.
Forwards 9 out of 10
Yes, you heard me! if we can't score goals with this lot we are stuffed. Although they have the combined age of a Galapagos tortoise Stead, Ameobi and Forte are still class at this level. Stead, in particular, could score in a shoebox of space, is not greedy for a striker and only his poor heading skills let him down. Ameobi scares defenders to death creating pace for his colleagues and Forte could be a real asset if we played him as a forward and not a glorified winger. Add to this a decent signing in Allasendra and this is the one section of the field we needn't worry about. In fact, is there a formation called 3/2 5? Let's try it shall we it's our only hope.
Position finish - based on this squad with no additions 15th-17th.