Biggest Donkey in a Notts shirt

[irishpete]

Mick Waitt,6ft plus & saw smaller players out jump him. Tony Agana could tackle himself when he had the ball .Was so crap at Notts I felt sorry for him

[CookieGuy]

Hands down Tony Agana.
It is surely not possible to have anyone with so much expectation, be so utterly pants!

[upthemaggies]

Hands down Tony Agana.
It is surely not possible to have anyone with so much expectation, be so utterly pants!

For the money we spent on Agana and what he was brought here to do, he was a disastrous signing, but he could play and did put the effort in. The crowd were very supportive of him, unlike - for example - The Burger Van.

Mick Waitt could be infuriating when it came to balls he should have won in the air but he did score goals.

I'd nominate Seamus McDonagh.

[Bartlett's Dust]

There's a ridiculous amount of competition for this title. I'll nominate Andy White.

[legs77]

Scoffham Fraser McHugh Arkins just three off top of my head who were nowhere near league standard.

[legs77]

There's a ridiculous amount of competition for this title. I'll nominate Andy White.

Good shout about 6ft 3 and jumped like he was 2ft 3 !

[navypie]

Ricky Green......without a shadow. I bet Chesterfield coudn't believe their luck when we paid them a fee . Donkey doesn't come close.

[Elite_Pie]

There's a ridiculous amount of competition for this title. I'll nominate Andy White.

He would probably be first choice for me as well, and as legs77 says he seemed to shrink when a high ball came his way. His only asset was winning the odd free kick when the ref thought there's no way the defender who was 8" shorter could win a header fairly. If Andy White in his 'prime' was playing for the opposition these days, I would put Dion Kelly-Evans to mark him confident that he would win the aerial battle.

[sidders]

Well, few of you chaps will remember Jackie Laine who was brought in (I think) to replace Jimmy Jackson and to link up with Stan Newsham.
Now there was a donkey

[Shropshire_Pie]

Toss up between Hackworth and Aphexhead.

[NottsOnTheUp]

Vinny Arkins, wasn’t he the new Alan Shearer?

[NottsOnTheUp]

Most of the 2019/2020 squad?

[The_Don_ORiordan]

Hackworth was pretty bad. But surely Guy Branston......

[meoldlaner]

Enoch Showumni he just couldn't jump.

[BanjoPie]

Sidders

[ivansneck]

Branston

[maddogslater]

Andy White,,,,,,c'mon down.

[nw6pie]

Brian O’Callaghan

Matty Gill

Some tiny forward we signed from Man. Utd so therefore he must be good (he wasn’t - the name Forde rings a bell)

Darren Davies/Paul Smalley = tie

Any one of the 24 (or so) overseas players the “Buying Dutchman” signed - there was some particularly hopeless centre half, an ageing Belgian midfielder and a winger who couldn’t beat an egg, never mind a defender. The fact I can’t remember any of their names says it all. Further proof that “they played for me at a club I used to manage” is never a good recruitment policy.

[Glad2BeAPie]

Some tiny forward we signed from Man. Utd so therefore he must be good (he wasn’t - the name Forde rings a bell)

Ryan Forde??

[Glad2BeAPie]

Kevin Rapley

[Elite_Pie]

Any one of the 24 (or so) overseas players the “Buying Dutchman” signed - there was some particularly hopeless centre half.

Civard Sprockel? Not a name that's easily forgotten!

[navypie]

Kevin Rapley
I had such high hopes for him, but he was sh1te.

[maddogslater]

Think he scored the winner at Brentford on his debut, all down hill from then

[BigFatPie]

By donkey, I’m taking it to mean tall, useless player, rather than just useless.

Sean Canham.

[irishpete]

By donkey, I’m taking it to mean tall, useless player, rather than just useless.

Sean Canham.

Nah, just feckin sheite

[navypie]

This thread could go on longer than the coronavirus.

[Old_pie]

Terry Bly

[60YearsAPie]

This thread could go on longer than the coronavirus.

That's just what I was thinking.

If you named your top 20, you'd only be scratching the surface.

We've had more donkeys than Skegness beach since it became a seaside resort in the 19th century.

[tied_up_in_notts]

Some tiny forward we signed from Man. Utd so therefore he must be good (he wasn’t - the name Forde rings a bell)

Ryan Forde was another crappy signing from Man Utd, but I'm pretty sure you're thinking of Matty Williams who scored loads of goals for Utd reserves and then played for us on his way to non-league obscurity - he ended up at various Welsh League clubs. He was useless.

[i961pie]

Terry Bly

Ditto, came with a big reputation and was rubbish. I saw him take a penalty once the the ball bobbled about 3 times before it struggled to roll wide of the post and just managed to get over the touch line.

[Old_pie]

Ditto, came with a big reputation and was rubbish. I saw him take a penalty once the the ball bobbled about 3 times before it struggled to roll wide of the post and just managed to get over the touch line.

There must have been some miscommunication at the time and the Posh intended to send him to the glue factory on Meadow Lane but some dim idiot thought he was earmarked to play football. To be fair he had been prolific before the end of his Posh career.

[seriouspie]

There must have been some miscommunication at the time and the Posh intended to send him to the glue factory on Meadow Lane but some dim idiot thought he was earmarked to play football. To be fair he had been prolific before the end of his Posh career.

Yes a 'name' at Posh but useless for us. I seem to remember he was bought to replace someone but can't remember who. The manager who signed him came in for some stick as well but again I can't remember.

[Bartlett's Dust]

Eugene Dadi should get a mention as well.

[boland]

I think Bly replaced Tony Hateley. My first thought was Jeff Astle but then I seem to remember they played together for Notts. The manager may have been Eddie Lowe.

[ivansneck]

Civard Sprockel? Not a name that's easily forgotten!

Couldn't even walk properly let alone play football

[TSANHO]

How has Ian Hamilton not got a mention yet!

[cocopops61]

There was a black tall lad back in the early 90's that I'm struggling to remember (I think my subconscious has blocked him out) that was always tripping over himself,I can remember him once being one on one with the goalie and over he went yet again,he made me that angry I got up and went home

[irishpete]

There was a black tall lad back in the early 90's that I'm struggling to remember (I think my subconscious has blocked him out) that was always tripping over himself,I can remember him once being one on one with the goalie and over he went yet again,he made me that angry I got up and went home

Sounds like Agana to me :D

[cocopops61]

Sounds like Agana to me :D


Nah it definitely wasn't Agana,the trouble is I used to go down with a workmate who couldn't see why I disliked him so much so maybe it was just me,it's starting to bug me now

[navypie]

There was a black tall lad back in the early 90's that I'm struggling to remember (I think my subconscious has blocked him out) that was always tripping over himself,I can remember him once being one on one with the goalie and over he went yet again,he made me that angry I got up and went home
Devon White ??

[cocopops61]

After giving it some serious thought it would have been very late 90's not earlier as I stated,sorry

[Old_pie]

I think Bly replaced Tony Hateley. My first thought was Jeff Astle but then I seem to remember they played together for Notts. The manager may have been Eddie Lowe.

Lowe didn't come till a couple of seasons later. I think you're right about Big Tony. Probably Tim Colman was manager. Whilst he made his name at Posh it seems as if he came to us from Coventry and had scored against us in a couple of preceding seasons, from his Wiki:

1956–1960 Norwich City 57 (31)
1960–1962 Peterborough United 88 (81)
1962–1963 Coventry City 32 (25)
1963–1964 Notts County 29 (4)
1964–1970 Grantham 199 (125)

[Bridg4d_Pie_]

I remember a trial-list that Sir Jimmy bought in, an RAF International no less went by the name of Norman Norman, I don't know if he was related to Norman Wisdom, but Norman Wisdom would have been of more use.

[BJPIE]

Been watching Notts for 50 years. Alas, I've seen too many poor players. Because he was an absolute cheat and a pathetic excuse for a captain Richard Duffy gets my vote. What a piece of s***!!!

[Sheffield Pie]

Bob Catlin. I'll never forget his home debut.

[cocopops61]

Darren Caskey was somebody who I never liked but I wouldn't call him a donkey

[Freeman25]

Been watching Notts for 50 years. Alas, I've seen too many poor players. Because he was an absolute cheat and a pathetic excuse for a captain Richard Duffy gets my vote. What a piece of s***!!!

He shouldn't be in contention imo just because he had at least one good run of form in his time here where he showed why he'd had a career way above us before joining, people loved to hate him but he wasn't THAT bad, his defence conceded the third least goals in the league under Nolans first full season.

5 pages and not a single mention of the Blackpool Donkey himself, Ben Burgess? He arrived with known knee issues, Short didn't even bother giving him a medical and he proceeded to steal a living off Notts for at least 2 years wasn't it?

Gavin Gordon was also utter dog sh*te and so was Brett Angel after his debut. I'd agree with the guy that said Sean Canham in that a football "donkey" is usually used to describe a big forward that's useless and Canham certainly fit that bill, that was the standard of player McParland SPENT MONEY ON, before the Munto season and a blank chequebook

[upthemaggies]

5 pages and not a single mention of the Blackpool Donkey himself, Ben Burgess?

I mentioned "The Burger Van" on the first page. Couldn't stop laughing when Martin Allen used the nickname we'd given him when talking about Burgess in an interview with Colin, but he encouraged the crowd to get behind him and he did manage to score four league goals after that.

[upthemaggies]

Lowe didn't come till a couple of seasons later. I think you're right about Big Tony. Probably Tim Colman was manager. Whilst he made his name at Posh it seems as if he came to us from Coventry and had scored against us in a couple of preceding seasons, from his Wiki:


Tim Coleman was still manager when Hateley was sold.
Eddie Lowe took over the following summer (1963) and Bly arrived during 63/64.

Lowe's stats are appalling for a manager who had 87 league games in charge, if it had been 3 pts per win back then he would averaged 1 point a game. 25% win rate. -63 goal difference. First Notts manager to take us to 92nd in the Football League and left us 34 places lower than when he took over.

[seriouspie]

Darren Caskey was somebody who I never liked but I wouldn't call him a donkey

....... Or a whippet. Perhaps a honed Michelin man?

[cocopops61]

Gavin Gordon

I had completely forgotten about him,now he was a bloody donkey that bloke

[Woodypie]

I had completely forgotten about him,now he was a bloody donkey that bloke A brace of donkeys - Izale McLeod and Danny Haynes. Not sure who was worse.

[Freeman25]

I had completely forgotten about him,now he was a bloody donkey that bloke

I'll never forget when we used to do those Open Day things to meet the squad in pre season, we got to the table with Gavin Gordon and Lawrie Dudfield and my dad said "So you're the guys who're going to be getting all the goals?" and Gavin Gordon just looked a mixture of confused and embarassed XD

[cocopops61]

I'll never forget when we used to do those Open Day things to meet the squad in pre season, we got to the table with Gavin Gordon and Lawrie Dudfield and my dad said "So you're the guys who're going to be getting all the goals?" and Gavin Gordon just looked a mixture of confused and embarassed XD

I've just looked him up online and he played 33 games for Notts,i thought that he was here longer than that unless it was just the misery of watching him just made time stand still,he really was useless that second season we had him

[maddogslater]

There was a black tall lad back in the LATE 90's that I'm struggling to remember (I think my subconscious has blocked him out) that was always tripping over himself,I can remember him once being one on one with the goalie and over he went yet again,he made me that angry I got up and went home
I really need to know whom this is to give me some peace

[Livid]

Vinny Arkins, wasn’t he the new Alan Shearer?

Murphy said that Tony Battersby would be the next Shearer

[boland]

Not certain of the correct time-frame but could it be Richard Young?

[TSANHO]

Didn't Gavin Gordon score a great goal where he turned a defender on the half way line and raced through to score a wonderful solo goal? Doesn't sound like something to happens at Meadow Lane, but I'm sure it did!

[jackal2]

Didn't Gavin Gordon score a great goal where he turned a defender on the half way line and raced through to score a wonderful solo goal? Doesn't sound like something to happens at Meadow Lane, but I'm sure it did!

My recollection is of Devon White doing that at Peterborough. It wasn't the kind of goal you expected from him!

I wouldn't have put Devon on the donkey list though. in his first spell with us he was quite an effective centre-forward, but he was a spent force when he returned for a second spell.

[Glad2BeAPie]

Chris Iwelumo 2012-13 played 5 games on loan

[Cornish Pie]

Yes Ricky Green, purchased if I remember correctly, to replace Les Bradd. Total waste of space, although his overall scoring record was 0ne goal in four. Notts were the only team he never scored for!!

[nw6pie]

Ryan Forde was another crappy signing from Man Utd, but I'm pretty sure you're thinking of Matty Williams who scored loads of goals for Utd reserves and then played for us on his way to non-league obscurity - he ended up at various Welsh League clubs. He was useless.

That’s the guy, thank you!

[nw6pie]

Murphy said that Tony Battersby would be the next Shearer

Sheep?

[nw6pie]

A brace of donkeys - Izale McLeod and Danny Haynes. Not sure who was worse.

Izale McLeod is a good shout given that we paid Crawley over a 100 grand for him. Didn’t he also do that classic idiot move of taking a penalty when someone else was set to take it - and then missed?

And thanks to Elite for reminding me of Sprockert. Think the other Belgian we had that season was an ex-international (Swerts?) who turned out to be the Flemish Gary Owers.

[Nigel_M]

Perhaps we should have a donkey XI. Mine would have to include Fitzsimons, Williie McStay, Michael Emenalo, Ian Hamilton, Mick Galloway, Brian O'Callaghan, Stacy Long, Lewis Allesandra, Garry Birtles, Ricky Young, Will Hayhurst.

With Shame-us Mcdonagh, Andy White, Gavin Gordon, Gavin Strachan on the bench.

[KPie]

now a team of donkeys... seems entirely doable.

GK : Paul Gibson
LB : Gary Silk / Dan Jones
CB : Guy Branston
CB : Richard Duffy ( Main CB when we got relegated out the league / and was struggling for a second CB )
RB : Elliot Hewitt ( was decent at CM but ruddy awful at RB )
LM : Matt Gill
CM : Charlie Allen
CM : Mark Fotheringham
RM : David Bell
ST : Tony Hackworth
ST : Andy Whitev

[jackal2]

Darren Davies/Paul Smalley = tie

Paul Smalley is now the head coach of the Brunei national team! :O

[pingu_pie]

Izale McLeod is a good shout given that we paid Crawley over a 100 grand for him. Didn’t he also do that classic idiot move of taking a penalty when someone else was set to take it - and then missed?

And thanks to Elite for reminding me of Sprockert. Think the other Belgian we had that season was an ex-international (Swerts?) who turned out to be the Flemish Gary Owers.

Yes, he did - away at Dagenham and Redbridge about 5 years ago, on a Tuesday night, with us 1-0 up. It was my birthday, and I had taken three of my colleagues who hadn't seen me ever get so angry over anything. Ever. Pet hate though - you have an assigned penalty taker. That person takes the penalties. Anything like what happened that night just shows a team that the manager doesn't have control of.

I have to say, lots of good - terrible? - names on here, but it has to be hard to beat Hackworth, surely? Lots of names more than disappointed, but even Andy White had some obvious talent with his feet (even though he trod on the ball rather than tapping it in once) - he probably suffered from being so tall, if he had been 5'7" he would likely have made a good winger. Same for Agana - he's made worse by the still being our record signing by some distance, but you occasionally saw some ability, and there was that goal against Spurs in the league cup at least. Funnily, haven't seen anyone mention Peter Beadle, isn't he our second most expensive signing? He did nothing other than one wonder goal, v Barnsley or Brizzle City I think.

But Hackworth... Cost a lot, came as having just played in the semi-finals in Europe or whatever, did nothing at all and never looked like doing. He really was the nadir for me.

[Big Bob]

Stuart Rimmer.
Nigel Jemson.

Both bloody awful

[maddogslater]

Matt Gill , aka the crab, forgot all about him.

[nw6pie]

Yes, he did - away at Dagenham and Redbridge about 5 years ago, on a Tuesday night, with us 1-0 up. It was my birthday, and I had taken three of my colleagues who hadn't seen me ever get so angry over anything. Ever. Pet hate though - you have an assigned penalty taker. That person takes the penalties. Anything like what happened that night just shows a team that the manager doesn't have control of.

I have to say, lots of good - terrible? - names on here, but it has to be hard to beat Hackworth, surely? Lots of names more than disappointed, but even Andy White had some obvious talent with his feet (even though he trod on the ball rather than tapping it in once) - he probably suffered from being so tall, if he had been 5'7" he would likely have made a good winger. Same for Agana - he's made worse by the still being our record signing by some distance, but you occasionally saw some ability, and there was that goal against Spurs in the league cup at least. Funnily, haven't seen anyone mention Peter Beadle, isn't he our second most expensive signing? He did nothing other than one wonder goal, v Barnsley or Brizzle City I think.

But Hackworth... Cost a lot, came as having just played in the semi-finals in Europe or whatever, did nothing at all and never looked like doing. He really was the nadir for me.

I would place Beadle in the “Biggest disappointments” pile. He was clearly talented, but just didn’t have the right attitude - I remember a couple of great goals, including the brilliant one when he ran from the halfway line, beat a few defenders and then lashed it into the top corner. Memory tells me it was against York in League 1, which shows how far we have both fallen.

Beadle cost £250,000 from Port Vale, so he wouldn’t be the second biggest signing. That would still be John Chiedozie, I think, who we signed for £600,000 in 1981 - an astronomical sum for the time, especially by our standards. Ridiculous to think that we sold him to Spurs for almost half that amount (£375,000) three years later when he was only 24 and had only improved in his time with us (well, maybe not his finishing in one-on-ones).

The other obvious choice for biggest disappointment was Chris Marsden, who seemed to be great everywhere he played - except for at Wolves and us. Another ex-Notts player to captain a side in an FA Cup Final. But unlike Brian Kilcline, his team lost (1-0 to Arsenal in 2003).

[pingu_pie]

I would place Beadle in the “Biggest disappointments” pile. He was clearly talented, but just didn’t have the right attitude - I remember a couple of great goals, including the brilliant one when he ran from the halfway line, beat a few defenders and then lashed it into the top corner. Memory tells me it was against York in League 1, which shows how far we have both fallen.

Beadle cost £250,000 from Port Vale, so he wouldn’t be the second biggest signing. That would still be John Chiedozie, I think, who we signed for £600,000 in 1981 - an astronomical sum for the time, especially by our standards. Ridiculous to think that we sold him to Spurs for almost half that amount (£375,000) three years later when he was only 24 and had only improved in his time with us (well, maybe not his finishing in one-on-ones).

The other obvious choice for biggest disappointment was Chris Marsden, who seemed to be great everywhere he played - except for at Wolves and us. Another ex-Notts player to captain a side in an FA Cup Final. But unlike Brian Kilcline, his team lost (1-0 to Arsenal in 2003).

That's a good point, I suppose - bone idle is a better description for Beadle. I started going to Notts in 1989; I had no idea that we would ever have spent anything like Agana money previously and assumed Beadle was second. Either way, it's still Hackworth by a mile for me!

Interesting that you mention Marsden. I always quite liked him. To me it always looked like he was stymied by being in a team that wasn't as talented as he was, and he didn't have whatever it is that makes great players able to make their team mates better. Without someone who read the game way the same way he did, he appeared lost. I wasn't surprised he was so good when he left us, it just wasn't a good fit.