Care Homes!

[mickd1961]

Please take a minute to read this and get your head around it.

My father in law is nearly 91 and suffers severe dementia and has been in the same care home for nearly 4 years......he’s one of the few self funding.

He doesn’t know who he is and he’s now almost blind but he’s docile.

Today he had his second fall of the week ( due to lazy staff practices in truth ) and he was taken to Russell’s Hall Hospital supposedly for a check up.

This afternoon my wife ( whilst sat at the hairdressers) gets a call from the hospital telling her the home have refused to have her dad back 😤😤

What are you supposed to do with a frail 91 year old who’s incontinent, virtually blind and totally confused at the drop of a hat like that.

When the hospital heard that my wife had been given no prior warning and grace period by the home they said that this home had broken strict guidelines and they would be reporting them.

This is the same home that had a case of a 90 odd year old woman dying after being molested by a much younger dementia sufferer a couple of years ago due to lack of good practice.

I’m seething about this level of inhumanity and I’m grateful to our local NHS for the speedy way they’ve stepped in to help.

Once her dad is safe again I’m going to report this home to the local papers and to local media.

If you’re looking for a home for a relative please put a post up for me before you place that relative in the Stourbridge area so I can warn you off this particular place.

End of life care that you’re actually paying for to then get treated like garbage in this way.

It takes disgusting to a whole new level.

I’m determined to end my life on my own terms at Dignitas once I feel I’m starting to fade.......I’d rather die a year or two earlier than necessary rather than suffer the last ten years this old boy has been through.

[Prando]

Dreadful Mick ! What reason give the home give for refusing to take him back ?

[phild]

Lots of stories about the elderly in care homes that are being refused re admittance to what, is to them their home, when coming back from hospital due to Corona fears. Totally unjustified and sick to death that covid is being used to excuse nearly everything these days.

[mickd1961]

Dreadful Mick ! What reason give the home give for refusing to take him back ?

It was the “we can’t cope with him anymore” reply Paul.

There job is to “cope” but unless they sit still 24/7 and don’t move they become a problem at this place.

It doesn’t help that not a single nurse actually sits amongst the inmates ( if you can believe that!? )

They hide away in a room off the main sitting room playing on their phones and stuffing their faces.......I kid you not, I don’t think there’s a single “nurse” there that isn’t under 16-17 stone.

Fat slobs with a lazy attitude to work, you actually have to go to find one if a resident falls or starts wandering.

I was gobsmacked at what my wife and her sister had to deal with today.

Time to find the old boy a nice place even if it costs £1200 a week because it’s his money, he earned it.

What a way to die though.

We all need to be brave enough to “call it” for ourselves when we start to feel ourselves getting doddery,

I’m not a brave person by nature but I know for a fact I will know when it’s my time to head out to Switzerland to do the deed.

I also know I can trust my kids to help me ( if needed ) despite the repercussions.

My son would go to prison if needed to do the right thing in this regard.

I’m determined not to linger and die in my own urine and c r a p being treated like an animal.

[soulman101]

Sorry to hear about your father in law. I visited our Mom everyday for her 18mths in a so called care home.
The only thing they care about is the money , it cost our Mom £58k for 18mths and that was 5 years ago.
Mom died in the morning , the next day the final bill came.They must of posted it while i was sitting with awaiting the funeral director to collect Mom. In the letter they said that they had given us half a day discount.

[Barrera]

This post just fills you with dread about what’s to come ........

[mickd1961]

This post just fills you with dread about what’s to come ........

Only if you let it mate.

Be brave enough to take the needle when you feel you’re starting to fade.

[wbaliquidator]

That is truly shocking and they need reporting immediately to the QCC

[kettering_baggie]

This sort of thing has been going on for some time, not just in these Covid times. My mother lived at home as long as she could but the point arrived where she was taken into Russell’s Hall. I then made considerable efforts to find here a care home; eventually found one in Stourport that said that they would take her; the owner said that she would visit my Mum in hospital to assess her needs. The woman never went, always an excuse why she couldn’t there despite daily promises that she would go the next day. My mother never went to that ‘care’ home because she died in Russell’s Hall of MRSA, contracted while she waited for the woman from the care home.

Having said that, though, there are many carers that do a fantastic job. A very good friend of mine has motor neurone disease and is now completely helpless, not even able to speak. He has carers go in every day and they are wonderful. MND is one of the most horrible diseases imaginable and if ever I were to go down with it, before I lost all my abilities, I would have a session with boxes of paracetamol and bottles of scotch.

[mickd1961]

This sort of thing has been going on for some time, not just in these Covid times. My mother lived at home as long as she could but the point arrived where she was taken into Russell’s Hall. I then made considerable efforts to find here a care home; eventually found one in Stourport that said that they would take her; the owner said that she would visit my Mum in hospital to assess her needs. The woman never went, always an excuse why she couldn’t there despite daily promises that she would go the next day. My mother never went to that ‘care’ home because she died in Russell’s Hall of MRSA, contracted while she waited for the woman from the care home.

Having said that, though, there are many carers that do a fantastic job. A very good friend of mine has motor neurone disease and is now completely helpless, not even able to speak. He has carers go in every day and they are wonderful. MND is one of the most horrible diseases imaginable and if ever I were to go down with it, before I lost all my abilities, I would have a session with boxes of paracetamol and bottles of scotch.

I’ve known three people taken by MNE Kets and you’re right.......it’s hard to imagine a worse death.

If I get a diagnosis I’ll be in a plane to Switzerland sharpish.

A good friend died at just 46 and from initial symptoms in the May he was dead by early November despite being told he’d probably last 5 years.

A former Sunday morning football mate died at 41 back in 2016.

Aida was an Adonis......6 foot 1 inches tall and pure lean muscle and a fantastic athlete, even in his early 30’s he dominated the football pitch.

He had the body and the long dyed blond hair and the ladies loved him......hell, the lads fancied him too, he was a fantastic lad but what a player and even in his late 30’s he was as fit as you could wish to be.

There’s no way you could’ve guessed the time bomb inside him.

He died an emaciated skeleton at just 41.

He had young kids and he hung on for them which was heroic.

I’m not that brave, I wouldn’t wait because I’d be an awful patient.

I’d rather go with two fingers in the air shouting F U C K YOU before anything like that got a grip of me.

My father in law was a religious nut to be honest with you and ending life early was regarded as a sin to send you to hell.

He wouldn’t agree to a non resuscitation being in his written wishes so even if he gets really physically sick etc they have to try to save him.

I’ve seen so much evidence of late life suffering in recent years both me and the wife have promised we’ll take the other to Dignitas when the one of us wants to go.

Dementia is rife on my wife’s side and at nearly 65 she looks fantastic but her memory is not great and she’s already fearing the worse and we know it’s a decision that maybe upon us within a decade.

I’d beg anyone reading this to make a decision to go peacefully from choice especially if they know their health is on a big decline.

A care home existence or a drawn out hospital death like mum in law had from Parkinson’s is truly hideous.

Go big and go early!

Them last few months or couple of years are pointless anyway once your previous quality of life is not achievable.

[1060Albion]

Please take a minute to read this and get your head around it.

My father in law is nearly 91 and suffers severe dementia and has been in the same care home for nearly 4 years......he’s one of the few self funding.

He doesn’t know who he is and he’s now almost blind but he’s docile.

Today he had his second fall of the week ( due to lazy staff practices in truth ) and he was taken to Russell’s Hall Hospital supposedly for a check up.

This afternoon my wife ( whilst sat at the hairdressers) gets a call from the hospital telling her the home have refused to have her dad back 😤😤

What are you supposed to do with a frail 91 year old who’s incontinent, virtually blind and totally confused at the drop of a hat like that.

When the hospital heard that my wife had been given no prior warning and grace period by the home they said that this home had broken strict guidelines and they would be reporting them.

This is the same home that had a case of a 90 odd year old woman dying after being molested by a much younger dementia sufferer a couple of years ago due to lack of good practice.

I’m seething about this level of inhumanity and I’m grateful to our local NHS for the speedy way they’ve stepped in to help.

Once her dad is safe again I’m going to report this home to the local papers and to local media.

If you’re looking for a home for a relative please put a post up for me before you place that relative in the Stourbridge area so I can warn you off this particular place.

End of life care that you’re actually paying for to then get treated like garbage in this way.

It takes disgusting to a whole new level.

I’m determined to end my life on my own terms at Dignitas once I feel I’m starting to fade.......I’d rather die a year or two earlier than necessary rather than suffer the last ten years this old boy has been through.

Mick, my Mum passed away just over four years ago with dementia after several years in a care home all of which was self-funded. Cost the family thousands.
Reading an article in the Daily Telegraph a year or so after her death it would seem that due to her acute illness, ie being in the home wasn't just a nice have, it was suggested that the local health people had a responsibility to assist with the care home costs either in part or in full.
Long story short I engaged a firm of solicitors (no win, no fee) to pursue matters. My view is that no solicitor in their right mind would take on this work if there wasn't a high prospect of success, so it looked quite favourable.
The newspaper article said it would take a long while to reach a conclusion (coming up three years now and still ongoing!!), but its something you may want to look into.

[Prando]

Such sad memories. The Care Quality Commission (CQC) should be informed. Not only to report the home you refer to mickd, but also to support and recognise the good caring homes that will be distraught to learn of this reflection on their business.
I fully respect your ‘dignity in dying/euthanasia’ belief, but I also understand the feelings of close family and friends who may be keen to see the individual remain and gain some consolation from their still being alive.
Such a subjective issue.
I hope your father in law receives the care he deserves and your wife is coping.

[DaveP67 is back!]

We have a fundamental issue with care in this country, local authorities don’t get the funding necessary, care for the elderly is always an afterthought, most of the staff working in care homes are on low to minimum wage, caring for the elderly or long term sick isn’t seen as a career to aspire to, until this changes and government provide sufficient funding it will not improve, sadly when we get to the stage of needing care and like it or not most of us will need some form in our final years we have lost our voice and can’t complain.. terrible really, I’m with Mick in terms of not wanting to go out as a burden..

[westcountryvillain]

Mick I'm really sorry to hear of your troubles, my mother in law has Alzheimers and after her husband looked after for far longer than many others would she has been in a home for 18 months withering away to a shell. The home are fantastic and its up in Southport so perhaps not too far depending on how often you visit.

My father-in-law, normally a stoical fellow, is always tearful and is broken-hearted by what some call "the long goodbye" - this is not what I would want for myself, my wife has said the same, I think we will take the Dignitas route.

My mom passed away unexpectedly in February aged 76, I never got a chance to say goodbye but take some comfort that she slept in her own bed, was as sharp as a tack and didn't endure a slow & painful decline.

Sorry too to hear of your mates who died young of illness leaving young children behind.

[stripes39]

Isn’t there a point where Care Homes cannot physically manage certain patients once they go past a point and then the patient has to get referred to a Nursing Home?

My partners mother went through this and the Care home in Kidderminster hadn’t the trained resources to take her back so she ended her days in a Nursing home in Stourport.

We were told that nearly all of the abuse cases happen in Care homes due to the low paid certain staff members who are really not suited to working in care whereas Nursing homes employ medically trained staff thus are more expensive

Mick - I hope you sort this out as it seems like they’ve treated your father in law very poorly.