O/T Joke of the day

[Brin]

Someone in the shop today asked me to name three Qatar players.

So I said , ''Jimi Hendrix, Eric Clapton and George Harrison''.

[CAMiller]

Someone in the shop today asked me to name three Qatar players.

So I said , ''Jimi Hendrix, Eric Clapton and George Harrison''.

That was actually the joke of yesterday XD

https://boards.footymad.net/showthread.php?t=38298112&page=4&p=40161938#post40161938

[Brin]

That was actually the joke of yesterday XD

https://boards.footymad.net/showthread.php?t=38298112&page=4&p=40161938#post40161938

Just goes to show how personal issues have overtaken my life this week. Hardly looked in on here.

Not to worry I hopefully look to catch up next week. Well done to the initial postee, it made me smile when I read it today.

[Geetarman]

I wasn't going to say owt 🦉

[Brin]

I wasn't going to say owt ��

Please don't, as you can see I've not included you as a guitarist XD

[Pattylallacks2]

I wasn't going to say owt ��

I haven't been able to say anything for days due to chronic Qatar

[CAMiller]

Just goes to show how personal issues have overtaken my life this week. Hardly looked in on here.

Not to worry I hopefully look to catch up next week. Well done to the initial postee, it made me smile when I read it today.

Hope things are OK Brin?

Here's a 'get mi coat' joke for you but don't laugh too hard.

Three England fans were talking about the sad state of national team;
The first fan...: "I blame Southgate; if he'd pick the right players, we'd be a decent team."
The second fan.... "I blame the players; if they made more effort, I'm sure we'd be a decent team"
The third fan.... "I blame my parents; if I had been born in a different country, I'd be supporting a decent team."

[Ronners]

Have you heard about McDonald’s new World Cup-themed burger?
It’s called, “The Qatar pounder.” UTM

[Ronners]

What do you call a Scotsman holding the World Cup?
An engraver.

[Ronners]

What do you call an Englishman holding a bottle of champagne after a World Cup?
A waiter.

[Ronners]

What do you call 23 men watching the World Cup 2022?
The Italian National Team.

[gru]

While my Qatar gently weeps

And I watch from Qatar

[Geetarman]

At the risk of being pedantic, I am a guitar nerd. Love the smell of guitar wood. The older the better. My 'resumme', my dad was an accomplished jazz pianist, and my mother and grandma could play a bit. My grandma used to play the organ in High Green church on Sundays.

Anyway, there I was teaching myself to play piano around 1964, and along came The Kinks, The Beatles and The Stones. So I taught myself to play guitar cos it was louder than piano. Well, electric guitar was.

[gru]

At the risk of being pedantic, I am a guitar nerd. Love the smell of guitar wood. The older the better. My 'resumme', my dad was an accomplished jazz pianist, and my mother and grandma could play a bit. My grandma used to play the organ in High Green church on Sundays.

Anyway, there I was teaching myself to play piano around 1964, and along came The Kinks, The Beatles and The Stones. So I taught myself to play guitar cos it was louder than piano. Well, electric guitar was.




Thought this thread was joke of the day! got two more

Slide Qatar

Qatar hero

[Grist_To_The_Mill]

Now look at them yo-yos, that's the way you do it
playing in Qatar on the Sky tv
That ain't workin' that's the way you do it
Money for nothin' and your tats for free

[Geetarman]

OK. You ain't the sharpest tool in the box are you.

[howdydoo]

I asked Paddy at work what he thought about Black Friday.
He replied, "To be honest, I think Robinson Crusoe would have struggled without him."

[howdydoo]

What do you call 2 men tied up strapped to a window?

Kurt n rod

[howdydoo]

If you have a breakdown in an electric car you can still use the AA.

Unless it?s a small electric car, when you have to use the AAA.

[LincsMiller]

Bonnie Qatar. Great voice. ( Dark Moon)

[LincsMiller]

Bonnie Qatar. Great voice. ( Dark Moon)

have a listen to this and see if you think the guitar opening sounds familiar


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jP0T5FBsaxU

[thaimillerfan]

Disapointed in those jokes of the day .

[Scum-Triumphant]

I was really surprised to see Canada qualify for the world cup this year, but it's trudeau...

[Ronners]

Our local electrical store is having a promotion for the world cup, for every match Wales win they will refund £75 off every TV costing £750 or more. That means you could get a £750 TV for as little as £750.

[Ronners]

Qatari royal family 'demand total BAN on alcohol sales at World Cup stadiums' just 48 hours before the tournament kicks off.

So only Budweiser then.

[Ronners]

FIFA president Gianni Infantino in his opening press conference of the Qatar World Cup: "Today I feel Qatari, today I feel Arab, today I feel African, today I feel gay, today I feel disabled, today I feel like a migrant worker," I reckon the crafty c**t is after British benefits or an MPs job or he wants to join the RAF! And while he was banging on, if he was trying to make a point, he could have added "Today I feel ****ing thirsty!"

[Brin]

Disapointed in those jokes of the day .

Thai, not sure if this one has been posted already....

Scores of England fans already arrested in Qatar after singing to a waitress, '' Get your face out for the lads''.

[crashbang]

Nose.

[thaimillerfan]

Heard this one... Had ****s for 2 weeks

Im ok now they're back at school

[Ericsladkilnhurst]

Joke of the Day - " German football team " >;)

[howdydoo]

I saw Duncan Goodhew this morning wearing a pink roll-neck sweater. He looked a right d&ck.

[Ericsladkilnhurst]

What does the receptionist at a Sperm Bank say as clients leave ?
' Thanks for Coming '.

[avondalemiller]

What does the receptionist at a Sperm Bank say as clients leave ?
' Thanks for Coming '.

....we've processed your deposit Sir.........

[avondalemiller]

A blind man entered a w.anking competition, he's no idea where he come....................

[CAMiller]

What does the receptionist at a Sperm Bank say as clients leave ?
' Thanks for Coming '.

What does the receptionist at a Sperm Bank say as clients arrive ?

'Would you like a hand Sir?'

[Ericsladkilnhurst]

Why is *ex like a bank account, because you lose interest after every withdrawal.

[Brin]

Here’s some good news!
For all of you who have recently purchased a Welsh football shirt, you should still qualify for a 14 day money back guarantee.

[howdydoo]

22954

[Brin]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Ericsladkilnhurst]

22954

Fish net bag from Amazon, certainly carries a lot.

[Pattylallacks2]

22954

Carol Vordeman on her way into makeup.

[Ericsladkilnhurst]

22954

Replacement goalkeeper called up by Wales for their game v England, next week,
after Hennessey's dismissal today.

[Grist_To_The_Mill]

Fish net bag from Amazon, certainly carries a lot.

I blame the mince pies

[thaimillerfan]

My wife says she has 14 good reasons why she should leave me plus my obsession for tennis.. I said that's 15 love.

[thaimillerfan]

My wife said if the kids don't eat the tacos throw them out..I did..Now I'm still stuck with the tacos.

[Brin]

Scotsman, Irishman and a Welshman walk into a bar.......there would usually be an Englishman in this story, but he's still at the World Cup!

[Ronners]

An officer sees a man exit a pub at closing time and get into his car. After observing some erratic driving, he pulls the man over.
The officer asks the driver, “Where are you going at this time of night?” The man replies, “I’m on my way to attend a lecture about alcohol abuse and its effects on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late.” The officer asks, “Who would give that kind of lecture at this time of night?” The man says, “My wife.”