Those we miss.

[mickd1961]

For me my dad is still a big miss, gone since September 2003, just before his 68th birthday.

I’m now less than 7 years away from where he reached, a sobering thought and now easy to so clearly to remember his final few years and equate them to my own during this 60+ period.

I miss my nan’s a lot as well and my grandad on my dad’s side who I had until I was 25.

So many fantastic aunts and uncles all gone as well, the family parties were legendary back in the 70’s, all gone now though, our family is so fragmented and the younger brigade have no feeling for the history of the family and ties are now almost broken.

I’ve gone from being way down the pecking order in the family to now being one of the elders, only 6 of the older brigade are now with us and of the males I’m now fourth in line in terms of the bloodline.

It’s like trying to stand on the shoulders of giants, the elders of the past were real men, coal miners and the like, my one great uncle was mayor of Durham in the late 70’s and the leader of the NUM in that region ( that’ll surprise a few on here🤣)

His name was Joeseph Wright, what a character!

They all were.......in truth I’m not fit to tie the bootlaces of most of them.

What I’d give for one last night with them all, one final family party with everyone present.

I can honestly say I’d give up my life right now to be granted one last gathering with all of them.

Especially dad.

This is why I find Xmas so damned hard.

Thinking of you all today old timers.

[Titchfieldbaggie]

For me my dad is still a big miss, gone since September 2003, just before his 68th birthday.

I’m now less than 7 years away from where he reached, a sobering thought and now easy to so clearly to remember his final few years and equate them to my own during this 60+ period.

I miss my nan’s a lot as well and my grandad on my dad’s side who I had until I was 25.

So many fantastic aunts and uncles all gone as well, the family parties were legendary back in the 70’s, all gone now though, our family is so fragmented and the younger brigade have no feeling for the history of the family and ties are now almost broken.

I’ve gone from being way down the pecking order in the family to now being one of the elders, only 6 of the older brigade are now with us and of the males I’m now fourth in line in terms of the bloodline.

It’s like trying to stand on the shoulders of giants, the elders of the past were real men, coal miners and the like, my one great uncle was mayor of Durham in the late 70’s and the leader of the NUM in that region ( that’ll surprise a few on here��)

His name was Joeseph Wright, what a character!

They all were.......in truth I’m not fit to tie the bootlaces of most of them.

What I’d give for one last night with them all, one final family party with everyone present.

I can honestly say I’d give up my life right now to be granted one last gathering with all of them.

Especially dad.

This is why I find Xmas so damned hard.

Thinking of you all today old timers.

Great post, Mick. Sums up my feelings and position very well.

Lucky to have my parents into their nineties, but I miss them every day.

A very special generation, indeed

Merry Christmas to you and yours

[Joy_Division]

I know exactly how you are feeling. I lost my dad when he was 49 so I have already lived 20 years longer than he was given. My wife and I have become the oldest living family members. There is no one left we can turn to or ask, its just us. I did not have a great father son relationship growing up it was only when I became an adult that we started to develop a greater understanding of each other and got a lot closer. We began to make plans what we would do together, the things we never did when I was younger. We never got the chance, and he was gone in what seemed like a flash but in reality I watched him wither away in front of my eyes over a few weeks. As the years have gone on I miss him more and more. Don't want to go into how much I miss my mom still.

[boingy]

Never had a sense of family. My mother I never knew due to the rejection at birth and then being on valium for the rest of her sad and short life due to schizophrenia. My dad got custody when I was 3 then shortly after left for a new life. He used to drop money off for my Grandparents and never ask to see me, where I was or anything. I was often only upstairs. I am now a complicated mixture of numb and over emotional.

[mickd1961]

Never had a sense of family. My mother I never knew due to the rejection at birth and then being on valium for the rest of her sad and short life due to schizophrenia. My dad got custody when I was 3 then shortly after left for a new life. He used to drop money off for my Grandparents and never ask to see me, where I was or anything. I was often only upstairs. I am now a complicated mixture of numb and over emotional.

I’m sad that your backstory is so bleak mate.

At least you had your grandparents.

The sad fact is that none of us get to choose our parents, it’s a total lottery as to whether they are up to the job or not and likewise, are we the right fit for our own children.

Very complicated chemistry and almost bound to fail.

Hope you and your lady have a nice day.

[boingy]

I’m sad that your backstory is so bleak mate.

At least you had your grandparents.

The sad fact is that none of us get to choose our parents, it’s a total lottery as to whether they are up to the job or not and likewise, are we the right fit for our own children.

Very complicated chemistry and almost bound to fail.

Hope you and your lady have a nice day.

Thanks Mick, same to you and yours.

[mickd1961]

Thanks Mick, same to you and yours.

Thanks mate and the same to you.

[baggieal]

Never had a sense of family. My mother I never knew due to the rejection at birth and then being on valium for the rest of her sad and short life due to schizophrenia. My dad got custody when I was 3 then shortly after left for a new life. He used to drop money off for my Grandparents and never ask to see me, where I was or anything. I was often only upstairs. I am now a complicated mixture of numb and over emotional.


Sorry to hear this Boingy but you sound as if you have worked miracles to move on especially being musically talented. Happy Christmas

[mickd1961]

Sorry to hear this Boingy but you sound as if you have worked miracles to move on especially being musically talented. Happy Christmas

Here, here.

Well said.

[Leicesterbaggie]

Never had a sense of family. My mother I never knew due to the rejection at birth and then being on valium for the rest of her sad and short life due to schizophrenia. My dad got custody when I was 3 then shortly after left for a new life. He used to drop money off for my Grandparents and never ask to see me, where I was or anything. I was often only upstairs. I am now a complicated mixture of numb and over emotional.

Very moving Boingy. You thoroughly deserve all the happiness and success that your life brings you, which I hope is in abundance. Your story makes me realise how lucky I have been.

[DaveP67 is back!]

Had a bit of difficulty replying to this yesterday, both my parents are still around, both in their 80’s but failing rapidly, I think back to my dads childhood, his dad died shortly after the war when he was only 8, growing up was tough, my gran on her own with 2 kids, having to work multiple jobs to keep them fed and clothed, welfare state wasn’t as it is now to fall back on, they had it tough, my dad left to join the navy at 14, he has never got over loosing his dad at such a key age, don’t think you can. Talk about standing on the shoulders of giants!

Think Des and Thomas may have met him once in the sportsman may years ago? Hoping to try and get him to a game later in the season when things warm up a bit, hopefully…

[boingy]

Sorry to hear this Boingy but you sound as if you have worked miracles to move on especially being musically talented. Happy Christmas

Thanks Al. Its a mix of good and bad, all the best.

[WBA1955]

There used to be loads of relatives at Christmas, yesterday we had a quiet day, just the three of us.
My mom is in a nursing home and my mother in law died December 2018.
Christmas is okay when you are young but I'm not religious so never been that mad about it.

[SwedishBaggie]

Had a bit of difficulty replying to this yesterday, both my parents are still around, both in their 80’s but failing rapidly, I think back to my dads childhood, his dad died shortly after the war when he was only 8, growing up was tough, my gran on her own with 2 kids, having to work multiple jobs to keep them fed and clothed, welfare state wasn’t as it is now to fall back on, they had it tough, my dad left to join the navy at 14, he has never got over loosing his dad at such a key age, don’t think you can. Talk about standing on the shoulders of giants!

Think Des and Thomas may have met him once in the sportsman may years ago? Hoping to try and get him to a game later in the season when things warm up a bit, hopefully…

That is correct, I enjoyed his and your company prior to a game.

Both my granddads died in the 1940s, aged 41 and 44, leaving my grannies on their own with their children (among others, my mum and dad). Hard times, but they managed, they were of another mould, I believe.

My father turned 90 yesterday, but is now losing it rapidly, severe dementia. My mother is 86 and has a clear head, but has some physical issues. They still live on their own in the house where I grew up, which is a bit of an ordeal (for my mum). I live 130 km away, try to visit as often as possible, but, not always that easy (I’m the only child too).

[Barrera]

A poignant thread.

Having been adopted more or less at birth and therefore never knowing my genetic parents has always meant Xmas has a kind of hollow ring for me. There have been some highs and lows over 63 Christmases and some relatives I genuinely miss. I raise a glass to them. But with 20 years or so left on this earth, I tend to look forward at Christmas time and hope the next years bring good health, love, fun and togetherness for me and my wife, our dogs, remaining family and friends. Enjoy your life while it lasts is my motto as you never know what’s around the corner.

[tomkya]

I am a rare visitor on here these days I feel I had to reply to Mick's heartfelt opening post very touching.
Boingy I feel for you mate I didn't have the best of parents and grandparents I had died when I was no older than six, some of us have tough upbringings and it's what you make of yourself as an adult and how you are with your own family that matter I wish you all well and a Merry Christmas.

[DaveP67 is back!]

That is correct, I enjoyed his and your company prior to a game.

Both my granddads died in the 1940s, aged 41 and 44, leaving my grannies on their own with their children (among others, my mum and dad). Hard times, but they managed, they were of another mould, I believe.

My father turned 90 yesterday, but is now losing it rapidly, severe dementia. My mother is 86 and has a clear head, but has some physical issues. They still live on their own in the house where I grew up, which is a bit of an ordeal (for my mum). I live 130 km away, try to visit as often as possible, but, not always that easy (I’m the only child too).

Distance is a big issue for me, mine are about 2.5 hours away, thankfully my brother is about but it is a worry, how did your dad cope loosing his dad at a young age?

[SwedishBaggie]

Distance is a big issue for me, mine are about 2.5 hours away, thankfully my brother is about but it is a worry, how did your dad cope loosing his dad at a young age?

Well, he was the oldest of 3 children (aged 17 at the time), so I think he had to be ”the man” in the family, and, being that, gave little time to contemplate (maybe thankfully so) - they (he and my grannie), just had to carry on.

[soulman101]

My Dad lost both his parents before the age of 14, his Dad died down the mine.
After being passed around his brothers he joined the army at 14,after being told he was to young, he was told to walk round the block and change his date of birth.

[mickd1961]

My Dad lost both his parents before the age of 14, his Dad died down the mine.
After being passed around his brothers he joined the army at 14,after being told he was to young, he was told to walk round the block and change his date of birth.

My mum’s dad lied about his age to fight in WW1 Lloyd.......a far greater generation of men than nowadays.