Eeek, ..The Worst Ever United XI
Oh well, here we go. We all know that we could pretty well choose a select from the last three or four years and come up with a myriad of options here but I’ve tried to spread it out a bit over the decades and avoid really obvious choices, like, say, for example, Dillon Powers. ;)
However, I have gone for the following in a 4-3-3 formation of dishonour.
Jorgensen
McCulloch. Donaldson. Quinn. McGinnis.
Rojas. Kerr. Mols.
Irvine. Bourke. Mathie.
Henrik Jorgensen - Played one league game. Lost 5 (FIVE) goals. Never seen again.
Scott McCulloch - Bought From Dunfermline by Luggy for a silly fee. On signing, discovered Wallace’s pehs and Land O’ Cakes. Got fat.
Coll Donaldson - By the end became virtually a touchline cheerleader as he was never going to get off the bench. How the phuck is he playing in the Premier League?
Paul Quinn - So bad, that pictures of Luggy et al on the wall put him off what little ability he had to start with.
Gary McGinness - maybe a bit of a disservice and a bit of a utility player, but always seemed to be a ‘rabbit in headlights’ oh, and scored an o.g. against Manchester United.
Walter Rojas - Came allegedly with the greatest talent ever seen in a Tangerine shirt and promised to become one of the best players ever for the Club. He didn’t and he didn’t. Should have sent his brother instead.
Mark Kerr - THAT Final. THAT goal. ‘Nuff said.
Tonny Mols - those that were at Somerset Park in (99?) for the cup quarters against Ayr will have recurring nightmares about possibly the singularly worst ever midfield performance from a United player culminating in conceding a ludicrous penalty with four minutes to go that Sieb fortunately saved. Jeesus phuck.
Alan ‘The Log’ Irvine - The fact that Liverpool probably drove him up to Tannadice themselves should have been the biggest giveaway as to the ability of this total clown. The bigging up of having signed this idiot from the ‘ four time European Champions’ seemed to deflect from questions of if he was actually any good why the phuck would they be letting him go? Spectacularly awful.
John Bourke - I mind seeing this dumpling who had been signed from Dumbarton when I first started going to games and even at my age I could tell that he was phucking scheite. He really, really was THAT bad and proof that Wee Jum didn’t always walk on water - he bought some total keech along the way.
Alex Mathie - £650,000. Five goals. One leg shorter than the other. Luggy - why??????????????????
Writing this out has actually given me the fear. :s