Kelvin.

How is it going with the family? Id like to give you the benefit of experience, but it is obvious you dont trust me. Think of it as a godly hand reaching down to your claw thrust out from the depths of hell.

Bringing children up in the north west is a challenge indeed, and with you as dad, its grim. Bringing kids up in Guildford isnt easy, Rochdale or nearby it must be seriously seriously BAD.

Will money help, or a sausage and tomato sandwich?

Regards, Frank.

Family life is absolutely su****ingperb, Frank, thanks for aksing.

How's the blood pressure, pimple on legs?

Liar.

Honestly, Frank, everything's sweat, er, I mean sweet.