New signings

Hello Carllillians. I remember last season you had a carp for a striker. Have you signed a better player, or will fish face do? Remember to fill the penalty area with water first. As you know Cambridge fans will be coming to your ground next season. There might be safety in numbers, as you might get 3,200. And maybe not. Try telling Auschwitz survivors that. p.s, how do you say goodbye to Carlisle town?. Give a big wave.

Ta ta, a suvverner.

You'll all have to forgive Frank. He's a purple-headed dog-owner off the Cabridge board. A bit sweaty, special needs, I'm sure you get the picture.

Frank, we've signed another player today, and he's not fishy in any way. Unless he's a Pisces; who knows?