I guess you'll be popping over?
Attachment 6774
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I guess you'll be popping over?
Attachment 6774
Unfortunately not Swale, though I will be there in spirit, or is it spirits.....tequila shots £1 each...mmmmm
Let's just hope it's not a miss-print and it turns out to be Mexican Siesta ie afternoon nap at 3pm while Barnet steal the points!!
Get on the old Twitterbox and suggest to AH he relocate the match to Veracruz - I'm sure you must have space to accommodate the teams and a few supporters.Quote:
Originally Posted by tarquinbeech
I hear that there is a chili-eating session with 2 Mexican judges and Alan Hardy, sampling a series of Chili/salsa mixes?
Chili number 1 ............Eddie's Maniac Monster Chili
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
AH ................. Holy ****, what the hell is this stuff?....... You could remove dried paint from your driveway. .......Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one........ These Mexicans are crazy.
Chili number 2....... Mexican Afterburner Chili.
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
AH............ Keep this out of the reach of children....... I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. .......I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver.......... They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
Chili number 3 ........Pablo's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili...
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.
Judge # 2 -- A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.
AH ...........Call the Police. I've located a uranium spill........ My nose feels like I have been snorting Drain Cleaner..... Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. ........Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. ps.........I'm getting sh!t-faced from all of the beer...
Chili number 4 ..........Juan's Black Magic...
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
AH.............................. I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds?........ Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. .......That 300-LB woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating!....... Is chili an aphrodisiac?
Chili number 5 .........Juanita's Legal Lip Remover...
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
AH.................... My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes........ I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. ........The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher........... I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. ............It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. .........Screw those Mexicans.
Chili number 6...................... Pam's Very Vegetarian Variety...
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
AH.................................My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I **** on myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair........... No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally............. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my anus with an ice-cream.
Chili number 7 ............................................Carla' s Screaming Sensation Chili...
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili
peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
AH........................ You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing....... I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. ........My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth........ My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. ..........I've decided to stop breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway.......... If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
Chili number 8 ....................................Karen's Toenail Curling Chili...
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Alan Hardy farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor feller, wonder how he'd! have reacted to really hot chili?
Workmates dare a guy to eat a Ghost Chili for $10.......priceless....hahahaha
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CyLyH9leEc
Quote:
Originally Posted by SwalePie
What’s Tarqs car got to do with anything ?