A goal for Christmas

Colin Calderwood has suggested that fans put a goal on their Christmas wish lists. Notice the singular. Just one is all that is possible, and to get that will require an act of god, or a fluke.

We could then go back to what the club are good at, for the last 25 years anyway. And that is being limp and damp, a mutant monstrosity.

When taking to the field, their only hope is to be a nuisance to the opposition. Watching United is like observing an autopsy, BUTCHERY of the most upsetting sort. If Tommy Cooper made a footballing joke routine, he would have been too slow.

Cambridge are already performing jokes, even more entertaining than performing fleas. Even one goal may push my heart too far, my pulse is racing at the thought, it may explode. Be still my aching heart, have faith...… I must pray, while not knowing that Cambridge United are cursed by reptile eyed demons, that feed on babies.

Surely I am burning in hell, toasted by blue flames, poked by the devils swords, and frying in demons spittle. To be finally despatched to another world by Cambridge re signing Jake Carroll, or making Liam Oneil player of the year.


My suffering knows no limits.....

Juliet Parmenter Mawson Road, off Sturton Street.

Would you accept Cambridge scoring THREE goals - if the opposition scored four? Purely for the entertainment?

Three.? It will never happen. Never. You don't get the hopelessness of it, which isn't your fault. It started under Derry, who will soon be your manager.

Rick. Of Fowlmere.

We’re on the Beech.

I managed to score last week which means that I'm back darn sarf probably tomorrow as the sea air and the great company is doing me a world of good,if I had the money I would move down there permanently so if any of you lot want to leave me something in your will it would be most appreciated >;)

The adverts I haven't missed at all especially that bloody Swiss Air one :blue:

Where have you been? Griff is less than pleased that you omitted predictocomp. Have you been cruising? What was it like? I hope you scored more than once.

I can hear bells. Has she asked you to move down south? Remember, if your digging a hole, best stop digging. Being apart is better than being together especially at our age. Being apart means you only get the best, as she will. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

I am sure you will though, good luck.

As for the football, United don't play till December 7th. The squad has a week off. No training, no practice....nice or what. Full time football is a nonsense. In the old days footballers used to train in the mornings if you can call it that, and spend the afternoon in the pub, creating endless alkys.

Having said that, training endlessly makes no difference. They are what they are. You cant teach dumbos.

Crosby Stills and Nash of Trumpington.

p.s whos looking after coco.?