Teddy Bear & Dons forum

The following post aimed at Teddy Bear really made me laugh:

Ah, Teddy, Teddy, Teddy .... fit can Ah say?
Ye come across as a guy who jist wants tae be loved, and yer sister is jist nae 'cuttin it'.

A wee tip.

If yer determined tae hae ony influence, or garner the slightest morsel o' consideration or respect on this site .... yer tasks are as follow-follows.

1, Change yer user name. The only good thing aboot yer username is that it reminds me o' that wonderfully hilarious video by 'Wee Wullie Bluenose and the Teddy Bears' .. and that 'We don't do walking away' song ... cracks me up every time

2. Via your new non-hun username, so as nae tae be sneaky, announce your name change and denounce/retract all positive associations and statements with regard to both the old and new team who play home games at Ibrox.

.... now, don't assume yer done yet ... via a previous discussion on our hallowed Stand Free forum, it was generally agreed, with regard to a quarantine period in relation to signing former huns, that 3 years was the minimum period for the cessation of hunnus virus symptoms .... typified by blunosism, orangibaztarditism, wiarapeepolitis, chronic nosurrenderism, scummy type minkiness, monarchophiliac loyalosis, and a rare, but increasingly prevalent form of amnesia causing the affected to lose all recollection of events between 2010 and 2018 - recently identified as a trauma induced dissociation due to the desperate need to block out the pain of the death of Rangers FC, and classified as Big Hoose syndrome.

and so ....

3. You refrain from posting for 3 years from the date of your 'coming out', 'I surrender' post.

.... however, if you wish to fast-track ... you may apply for Abmad Stand Free Aberdna bonus points, by submitting evidence that you are cleansed.

a) you have suffered a major head trauma somewhere on a scale between a good kickin' and a major RTA, resulting in a personality change whereby you do not remember, recognise nor relate to any positive association or comment regarding either incarnation of that dead/new club.

b) you post a picture of yourself in a current Aberdeen FC strip enthusiastically manhugging the Pope, or better, a Dons legend such as Willie Miller .... or any other who has never played or managed a home game at Ibrox ..... picture must be accompanied by a scan of your passport to prove it is actually you.

c) you promise never to beat your wife up again, and ask that the sentence for your most current charge be served as community service, fingertip-weeding AFC's Cormack Park training field..... and doing any other task, short of 5exual favours, required of you.
Further bonus points will be granted on production of a doctors certificate stating your sister is a virgin.

d) You create a new account on the hun forum ... like 'ExBearDon' ... and give them HELL!

e) you buy a Pittodrie season ticket ... and provide evidence not only that it is yours, but that you have paid for it.

.... Until then? All you are doing is trying to convince the unconvincible that you are a 'good' hun. .... As soon as we talk to the fairies at the bottom of our driveway, understand how Santa delivers presents to 'unchimneyed' householdsand demostrate to the entire global populus that water does not 'twirl' down the plughole clockwise, or otherwise, depending on which global hemisphere said plughole is located, we'll get back to you. cheers.
Last edited by NaeMairNeeps; Today at 03:29 AM.