End of life care.

Today I visited my 93 year old father in law in his nursing home, we had the call on Friday to say that he’s almost at the end of his near 15 year battle with Alzheimer’s.

Me and the old boy had a bit of an awkward relationship, he was a rather uptight bloke with a quick temper…….I guess we we too alike in many respects.

I’ve rarely visited him whilst he’s been in care, my wife and her sister and my often wayward son have been the people who’ve done the hard
yards but today I wanted to go out of respect as much as anything.

He was asleep the whole time and he’s been mute for around three years now, he’s had no understanding of himself or other people for about five years but……the old b u g g e r looks as determined as ever.

He wasn’t a big bloke but he was small and wiry and worked physically hard all of his life and had a really tough streak that has clearly not deserted him even in dire circumstances.

I must admit I found a new level of admiration for the old chap, he had a look on his face that said….”I ain’t ready yet, you’ll have to wait until I’m good and ready!”

A word on his nursing home in Bilston as well.

Beautifully clean and well run with pleasant, efficient and engaged staff, if any of you are looking for somewhere for a relative I’d be happy to pass on details.

It’s the only home I’ve ever been in where there hasn’t been the stench of urine, this place was spotless and the room was light any airy.

It was heartening to see that someone’s final days could be in such a peaceful and well run establishment, if ever I end my days in such a place I’d hope it would be as nice.

The staff couldn’t give us any real idea of how long he might cling on, his food intake is now almost nil and he’s only taking in minute amounts of fluid by teaspoon?

I would’ve thought you can’t last more than a few days at most but one nurse said that someone recently had lasted three weeks without any intake of food or fluid.

Dubs, if you read this I’d value your opinion.

Mick for your father in law read my Ma. She turned 94 last January. We get at least three phone calls from the home each week saying she has fallen again. She has the constitution of a f u c king Rhino on steroids.
About ten years ago she had a hospital stay and looked so bad that I called my sisters to get in quick because I thought she was close to death. On a number of ocassions since I thought she had turned badly health wise. Clearly at this stage I say nothing..O:)
The nursing staff recently asked her to use a Zimmer frame as she loses balance easealy.
Do you know what she replied when she eventually understood what they were asking her?
There for old people! I kid you not. She is still eating and drinking but my sister says she looks a lot weaker......I don't visit her anymore as she almost deaf and no idea who I am but my toher sister does any stills enjoys the chats of sorts. I am glad for the both of them.

She also is wirey like your F-I-L. They were bor between wars and never had much food and never eat much from that harsh upbrining the rest of her life. So they don't have much reserves but a tenacity for clining to life. Fair play.
Probably there heart will just stop beating one minute and that will be it....but don't hold your breath.
They remind me of cacti...need very little of anything to survive.