Frost tonight.

Its taken a while coming but its here, and United are at home. To keep warm United fans will pay high prices for a paper thin bun, a beef patty thats 20 per cent rusk, weak tea, the smallest bag in a pint of water, and a few aldi, monster bag chips that are completely tasteless.

Rather you than me.

For what?

Eternal struggle on the pitch, you might get a shot on goal. The team plays one up front because they are crap, deficient, cheap, losers, the only motivation is to not lose.

And you will pay high admission fees to watch jerks trying to get the ball under, so they cant do anything with it.

Meanwhile i will be toasty, and probably listening to it on the radio with Paul Barry as commentator, oh, whooops its Mark Johnson.

Wearing my pretend Lincoln scarf.

Talking about radio cambs, the commentators are scared rigid by Peter Jackson their boss who brings it all together. If the commentators make a mistake he mentions it on air to humiliate them.

Plus the fact hes twice as bright.

So its Bonner the plodder against the futsal genius, who could miss that? while the fans get cold feet, a blue nose, and have their bank accounts seriously reduced, while being served cheap bonnallacks.

Its a good world.