Spurs 7 Cambridge 2.

A friendly, im surprised spurs granted a friendly to a team with a death trap stand from the 1230s, or was it the 1800s . im very surprised by the score, i was expecting 19 20, maybe even 30 to 35 or forty.

And United fans should take heart from the above, a superb result to keep it that low. To get two as well, they must have been using the cannon from Takeshis castle.

Lavery and Loft, in the absence of sense and skill must have been throwing themselves at the spurs team like Russian soldiers under fire from the ukranians.

Id like a statitical breakdown as to how many times they made contact with the ball, fist first, like Superman.

All good then, Stockport away, a 4-0 loss will be a good result. The players have a trip to Portugal coming up, im sure in true Barry style, cheap. Check under the players beds for whisky and vodka bottles.

Im thinking of seeing my doctor for something to calm me down, as the utter destruction of United in div 1 is coming and im excited, meanwhile, at bedtime, the players should be offered anti depressants, starting now as it takes a while to kick in

As for the fans....have no hopes. The coming season is part of the plan.