Borrowed culture and a plasticine burger ? welcome to the Club World Cup and almost-f

Lionel Messi?s Inter Miami play in Saturday?s opener but people still look blank when asked about Fifa?s $1bn event
Fire up the marching band. Rouse the majorettes from their state of indifference. Put out more flags. Put out some flags. Put out a flag. Er ? is anyone actually there? IShowSpeed? Can you hear me Pitbull? Welcome to the almost-World Cup, an almost-real almost-event that will perhaps, with a favourable wind, now begin to feel like almost-football.*
This week Gianni Infantino described Fifa?s regeared tournament as football?s Big Bang, referencing the moment of ignition from which all the matter in the universe was dispersed out of a previously cold and indifferent void. And to be fair, Infantino was half-right. So far we have the void.
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