Football Daily | Rangers and a slapstick fiasco that gave Martin a furious dose of fa

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Football Daily would never publicly admit that our life is so meaningless, empty and utterly devoid of purpose that we occasionally spend our leisure time perusing the fan forums of random clubs with whom we have no affiliation just to pass the time. No, that would be embarrassing so it was purely in the interests of diligent professional research that we spent the buildup to one of last night?s Bigger Cup qualifiers scrutinising the long pre-match thread on a forum devoted to one fitba club in particular, all the better to gauge the mood among Rangers fans before their first leg against Club Brugge. Before a ball had been kicked, it was one of cautious optimism that was quickly replaced by fatal realism and no end of radge-induced McEffing and McJeffing a mere three minutes after kick-off. That?s how long it took for the hesitant-to-the-point-of-slumbering Rangers duo Nasser Djiga and Jack Butland to contrive to concede a goal so slapstick (but beautifully finished) that it would be worth resurrecting A Question of Sport for one final episode of What Happened Next?
I?m not at the [PFA awards] ceremony tonight. With everything going on, it didn?t feel right to be there. I?ve kept quiet for a long time while others have spoken. That silence has allowed people to push their own version of events, even though they know it doesn?t reflect what was really said and agreed behind closed doors. The reality is that promises were made and the club has known my position for a long time. To now act as if these issues are only emerging is misleading. When promises are broken and trust is lost the relationship can?t continue. That?s where things are for me right now ? and why change is in the best interests of everyone, not just myself? ? the Alexander Isak transfer saga goes on (and on, and on), with the striker sounding like he?s almost at the stage where he?s going to write a painful breakup album if his latest Instachat post is anything to go by. Newcastle have been quick to fire back: ?We are clear in response that Alex remains under contract and that no commitment has ever been made by a club official that Alex can leave Newcastle United this summer.? Make it end!
Football can be a pleasing source of anagrams. Is Pep Guardiola?s eternal youth down to synthetic cream (Manchester City)? After years in the doldrums, Lilywhites fans are now Sudden Elite (Leeds United). Carlisle United?s slow demise looks like Ritual Declines? Meanwhile, the foul atmosphere emanating from Alexander Isak?s claim that he was promised he could move to a bigger club may lead one to suspect this ?is a rank ex-deal?. And of course, Brugge seem poised to thoroughly anagram Rangers? Bigger Cup ambitions. I would get out more but I?m too busy watching Countdown? ? Mark McFadden.
Newcastle sporting director: ?Well, we?ll just play Callum. Wait ? where is Callum? In fact, where am I?? ? Joe Skupien.
May I be the first ? although I?m probably not ? to start a campaign to either rename the offence to hand/arm ball or limit the offence to just the hand. Surely the intent is to stop players controlling (handling) the ball so why is using the arm penalised? You can use your knee, chest, stomach or posterior so why not your arm?? ? Nick Smyth.
Wolfsburg (yesterday?s Memory Lane ? full email edition) have never had the same allure since they told manager Wolfgang Wolf to do one? ? Jon Harris.
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