New season, new things: extreme non-football actions and children on the pitch | Max

The Premier League is only two games old but already we have wrestling penalties and golascoring ****s invading our screens
New season. New stuff. New camera angles. Director: ?And cut to Ref Cam.? Suddenly we are transported from the gliding calm of a wide angle to GoldenEye on the Nintendo 64, except you are not James Bond, you are Simon Hooper peering up at a strange angle of Harvey Barnes. Stop looking around Simon, stand still Simon. As one correspondent to Guardian Football Weekly suggested, it?s the Professional Game Match Officials? tribute to Uncut Gems.
New season ? wildly terrible predictions. My Premier League winners Manchester City won the title at Wolves on the opening weekend but are now sensationally out of the race after being outplayed by Spurs. Not sure anyone predicted Nuno Esp?rito Santo to be leading the sack race (nb: written before Grimsby). Who had Ange to lead Nottingham Forest to Europa League glory?
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