-
My mum's sister had really bad vertigo - and I mean really bad.
Oh my giddy aunt.
-
I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night.
It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea
-
I dig, you dig, we dig, she dig, he dig, they dig.
It's not a beautiful poem, but it's very deep.
-
A horse goes into a bar and asks for a pint of Timothy Taylor's Landlord.
The barman whispers to the bar manager that there's a horse at the bar asking for a pint.
Serve him, says the manager, but charge him double, horses don't know the price of beer.
The barman pulls the horse his pint and then starts chatting.
We don't get many horses in here he says.
No, says the horse, and at these fecking prices I'm not surprised.
-
Despite the high cost of living it remains popular.
Notice outside Greengrocers - In search of fresh vegetable puns - Lettuce know.
A Sunday School teacher asked her class,What was Jesus' mother's name.One child answered "Mary".Teacher then asks Who knows what Jesus' father's name was.A little kid said "Verge".Confused the teacher asks Where did you get that.Kid says "Well,you know,they are always talking about Verge n' Mary.
God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark.
