Inspector Closeau

Having been driven into despair, wretchedness and loathing, like Closeaus superior, suddenly, this club starts winning. Too late, for the likes of me, truly madness cannot be reversed.

Those jumping yaks, the Tallulah Bankheads of the Abbey, have found a winning streak. I always regarded kick off in contemporary times as a disadvantage.

How can this grubby and squalid club, steeped in hypocrisy, full of yahoos, defeatists, Quislings, louts, and Pakistani umpires, have possibly found a winning team?

What has gone right?

That is what needs to be asked in the right quarters, where the intelligentsia live, like if an Alien spacecraft was to crash, who would ya call?

Cambridge are winning, we need to alert the government, get university and government specialists to analyse what has gone right. If they can do that, its only an hour from finding a cure for covid.

It is true that i married beneath me when it comes to football, surely no one would walk up the isle willingly. My Petersfield origins cannot be erased. Now she beckons me, finger raised, come hither, should i go or should i stay.....she still looks like a yak though.

Oscar of Burleigh street.