Thomas Cook.

These are actual complaints received from dissatisfied customers by Thomas Cook Vacations (based on a Thomas Cook/ABTA survey):

1. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

2. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallarta to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time -- this should be banned."

3. "On my holiday to Goa in India , I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food."

4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price."

5. "The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room."

6. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow."

7. "They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beac

14. "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the resort'. We're trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service."

15. "There were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners."

16. "We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning."

17. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

18. "I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes."

19. "My fiance and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

Ha ha some good ones there, Oz. XD

Tourists abroad frequently amaze me that they expect a home from home - just with a little more sunshine. 'Well, it's not like this in England' Umm isn't that the point?!

The daftest complaint I ever heard was when I was doing some waitressing in a cafe in Tiberias, on the shore of the Sea of Galillee. A (British) tour party had come in for coffee, and not long afterwards I heard an altercation between a couple and the tour guide. Unfortunately, the couple had got the Sea of Galilee (where you can't float) mixed up with the Dead Sea, (where you can), and had arrived fully expecting to get the obligatory piccies taken reading the newspaper while afloat, but despite the tour guides protestations, they simply wouldn't accept their mistake.

Eventually, they started squabbling with each other 'Well, sweetheart, you TOLD me we could float'. The row trundled on until the woman asked for a copy of the bible, which, after being quickly thumbed through,

I thought this thread was going to be about our new signing from Torquay United ;D