Modern football is TEDIOUS.

Imagine two Rheindeer with huge antlers charging at each other, and locking horns. Nothing much happens after that, just a bit of pushing and shoving.

This is what Cambridge City v Wisbech last night was like. Two teams playing tippy tappy football down the middle getting absolutely NOWHERE.

In the 1950s, an academic, with no interest with football was asked to analyse the best football tactics, he said the more you get the ball into the penalty area, the more you will score.

Its that easy.

Wisbech had a couple of crosses into the box in the first half, easily cleared, and bit of pressure ten minutes from time, had one shot on goal that MISSED. Way to go.

What a waste of time.

The City centre half was head and shoulders taller than me, and won everything in the air, which wasnt much. As for mobility, all he could do was shuffle around a bit.

Wisbech should search for a centre forward as tall, and mobile, he would have sat Gent on his a ss a dozen times. Someone like Peter Crouch.

There must be a centre forward like that in the eastern counties league, willing to play for a tenner. Try looking.

Failing that, doing a Dennis Law would have sat Gent on his a sss even more. Come deep, move out into the wings, drag your marker all over the place, leaving huge gaps at the back, above all, keep running. Give the man with the ball options.

Look for the ball in behind.

The Wisbech forward line were absent, thats the very best i can say. The no 11 though could play.

Which brings me to tactics. The next Wisbech manager will need a full pre season to sign the right players, two wingers and a Crouch type up front.

Play 4-3-3 with three defensive midfielders, two wingers and a big centre forward. Or 4-4-2, who cares.

Try tip tapping past seven defenders who can turn defence into attack in an instant with a long ball. With three up front waiting for a channel ball.

Even a bad long ball needs defending, with three attackers hunting down the defender. And because danger is permanent, more defenders are needed just in case, alleviating pressure. The defenders can immediately move up following a long ball.

When in possesion, get the ball down the wings, beating a full back is not needed, just a cross with the centre forward and winger waiting, with the midfield moving up.

Then BANG....GOAL.....

Keep doing that, relegation is impossible. Getting the ball into the penalty area is the key. Im sure the Wisbech manager believes in what hes doing, shame really.

The truth in armed conflict is that if you are being attacked, you cant attack the enemy.

This is the hidden truth of the long ball game. Attacking never ceases, goals never cease. Its a brilliant defensive tactic.

Attack. Still never mind, the United counties league will see Wisbech again, very soon.

Any way, are you bored with tippy tappy rubbish? They cant do it. Tedium in the extreme. The truth will out eventually, everything is fad. Look at todays haircuts. The truth is, get the f thing in the box.

Plato of Greece.

p.s, City are no better.