Ive renewed ....hopefully get to use afore end of the year.....
Type: Posts; User: leontrotsky
Ive renewed ....hopefully get to use afore end of the year.....
What did the grape say when it got crushed?..... Nothing, it just let out a little wine......
I told my dad to embrace his mistakes.
He cried.
Then he hugged me and my sister...……..
My Grandad died because we couldn't remember his blood type. All through his illness he kept insisting, "Be positive."
Good ol' Grandad , ever the optimist............
Man calls 999 and says "I think my wife is dead" The operator says how do you know?
He says "The *** is the same but the ironing is building up!"........................
Sharon & Tracey are involved in a car crash. The paramedic called to the scene is checking Sharon over.
"How many fingers am I holding up?", says the paramedic.
"Bloody 'ell Trace", Sharon wails,...
Accordion to a recent survey, if you replace a word with a musical instrument, no-one notices..........
Two Dundonians walking down Union Street and they both see a sign in a Shop Window that say's...
"Suits from £10, Jackets £7.50, Trousers & Dresses £5.00."
One say's to the other '' Look at those...
Just read a book about vintage hi-fi enthusiasts and It was rubbish, full of outdated stereotypes........................
cabbage tunnels
Scotland calling o2
misty in roots drygate
misty in roots somewye in embra
I had a job interview yesterday, & I was asked what my qualities are.
I said "I can perform under pressure"
"Thats good" said the bloke, "Can you give me an example?"
I replied:
Mm ba ba...
Anti racism march and rally , SLF at night , glasgow
My Mrs says I am crap in bed, but I've but never heard her moaning.........................
watch that man -Bowie
pick up the rockers-tapper zukie
unfinished sweet-alice cooper
king -ub40
the seagull -mikey dread(nae that great a track)
sound system-steel pulse
whats going on-big...
Which famous artist has got brown fingers?
Pickasso.........
Apparently it’s been so cold in Dundee today that people have been spotted with their hands in their own pockets.............................
What do you call a woman who sounds like an ambulance?
Nina............
Someone said to me the other day that my grammar stinks.
I thought that was a bit harsh. She is 101 years old, & not in full control............
Think I've just been scammed by text.
Message said congratulations you've just one £250 or two tickets all expenses paid, to see an Elvis Presley Tribute Show.
Text 1 for the money or 2 for the...
My gambling addiction cost me my marriage...
or as I like to think of it, won me a divorce...............
Tak
Just back from the Doctors.
"I've stated eating my feather pillows in my sleep and I'm really starting to get depressed" I told him.
"Down in the dumps?" He asked
"I don't know" I replied "I...
duolingo app
I got a Monopoly set for Christmas without any instructions.
What are the chances?..........................
There's quite a few jokes doing the rounds about white sugar but ones about brown sugar..... Demerara........