Dog's Bollox 3

[SBRed48]

Hoss walks into BFC Office Monday morning looking really miserable. Sumdi sharts art--

"Hoss, why the long face ?"

( --tha ezzto laugh--why the long face? -the owd 'uns allus mek me laugh)

"Hey ya all, That's a great question you guys. Dog's PA e-mailed me at my apartment last night to say Dog is standing in his office doing a double teapot demanding to speak to me this morning."

"Call for you Mr Conway. It's Mr Lee"

"Why you make Dog look fool !?"

"What's the problem Big Man ?"

"Don't give me that what's the ploblem. Dog busy selling Nice. I pillak Nice fans telling them Dog stay for long term but Dog see chance to make plofit. Dog looks at Barnsley news. Dog happy with just two men who stand in goal and catch with hands. Then I read you sign Jimmy Krankie. I come to first game and meet with litch friends from Fulham but all I will see is Wee Jimmy Klankie flapping round Mitrovic's waist. Dog shown up. Then, bugger me, I read you sign ANOTHER one, Big Sam from Germany, a giant. FOUR goalkeepers ! And to cap it all there is no goalkeeping coach. Dog could not make it up. Dog not made of money. That German, he will eat a lot of food. Talking of food I look at tlaining videos. That Thiam one has had a lot on his plate this summer. Look at size of him ! He eat my new shirt sponsor, Lee's Hot Wok, out of stock.

Dog plaise you for one thing- money for that Lindsay one pay for Thomas and Andersen and the two extra keepers were free. Now you sell Pinnock and maybe Moore before you stock up with more young and cheap ones. Dog not made of money.

Dog happy with Nice sale plogress. Already £30 million plofit in bank from tlansfers last season and now this Ratcliffe man who come to live in Monaco offer me nearly £100 million. I always tell fans Dog there for long term when Dog buy a club and they believe me but heap big money to be made. I may send Goat back to Barnsley so keep that CEO spot vacant."

[Romared]

Hootaonnabart "Jimmy Klankie" ? Worrit rittun inna Cornish accent Mesta Ree will get thi thanose !
Eztha got wesha goowin ? Anutha good dryin day

[SBRed48]

Bitta drizzle early on up here but a good drying wind nar. Tha ezzto get weshing on line quick wi days drawing in fast.

Mary needs a new pack a bloomers. The gussets wo bright yellow this morning on line. She needs to steep 'em longer in a stronger biological powder to fettle 'em. I call 'em her Chernobyl bloomers.

Wee Jimmy Klankie that goalkeeper lad wi got that Chelsea released, a wo told he wont that tall.

[Romared]

Sarnds assiff Mary cud bi dehydrated , thallevta ring yond Bulgarian blowk that werked for Alpine minral wattas ,

Dropaz Abottulapopov !

" Jimmy Klankie" the new stretch Armstrong appun

[Romared]

Fogot t telthi , if shiz usin thatheer vanish Fo steerpin ? Be careful , a used it tutha week , put mi vests (string ) y frunts , socks anna cuppla teer shirts int wesha, wenna opunned wesha dooar thud all dissapeerd

[SBRed48]

She steeped 'em in boiling watta and Jeyes Fluid wunce and they frayed after next wesh. Beware ! Tha can't be too careful wi gussets.

[tiggertyke]

Dunt be trying em on when shes not looking cos Chernobyl fall out.

[EastStandRed]

Dunt be trying em on when shes not looking cos Chernobyl fall out.