Do we need a midfield? Why not play every available defender or defensively-minded player then just twat the ball up to an isolated lone forward?

Right...toys back in pram. With Shelvey and Almiron fit then I'd start them. Either we persevere with Joelinton one more time on the left of a front three with Carroll and Almiron or we bench him and put Atsu and Almiron either side. You all know my views on Atsu (although somehow he has a couple of assists) (I'd still be tempted to put Almiron back on the left and push Yedlin into a wide role...just for laughs, like.

Hayden in midfield with Shelvey and probably the same back 5 although hopefully Lejeune will get a run out at some stage.

If we keep Zaha quiet we've got a decent chance although I suspect our style of football will be apocalyptically bad.