We know Frank. And unfortunately, I get to watch it.
Its obvious i can lack the right words at times, that either deliberately or not i can say the wrong thing, but obviously having old friends in what i can only describe as a hospital bed cannot be ignored, i must visit, with flowers in my hand and a big box of chocolates.
How are things? I notice you are on a drip and all limbs have calipers, medication is administered hourly.
Are you better? I notice you had 9,000 against Morecambe, thats div1 level attendees, oh, you were last season, i can only surmise that they came to say farewell. You were playing the other team in calipers, an analogy, and lost. maybe they had more 3 in 1 oil on their joints.
Whatever is wrong, those in charge cant see it, never mind fix it. When i watch football the managers in the dug out wave their arms around to catch themselves on camera, like children, but there is a tactical thing to it.
Around Brunton Park, instead of advertising hoardings have big arrows pointing to where the goal is, have the manager pointing, and shouting "THAT WAY".
I know this sounds basic, but with the average footballer, and you have many if not all, they can get confused, ive got lost confused after a bang on the head, think of it in those terms, that Carlisle players dont need a bang on the head.
Another tactic might be to poison the other team, through tea, snacks, whatever. In the dressing room release a gas.
I know im getting silly, but this is what it will take to turn things around, there are sheep on the hills, capture that gas.
Writing a letter to the FA might help, outlining the difficulties you have, that even lads leaving school would rather play on the playstation, hang around the precinct, or watch GB news than play for Carlisle. Maybe Carlisle City have a player that is bribable.
Hang on in there, the anti biotic, the miracle medicine is coming, from where who knows, maybe the 9 thousand got it right. If that is so, how can i succour your final days?
Every national league player will look at the map and plan to be injured when the coach journey to Carlisle comes around, it brings to mind not long ago, when Wisbech played Morpeth.
God help us all. God help you.
We know Frank. And unfortunately, I get to watch it.