Thought Ah might start this threeeed because ....

Ah'm an auld fuxxer

Ah dinna go tae games because .... Ah've usually got a gig on a match-day .... an' need tae get ma excrement tigither afore Ah hae ma supper.


Sunday games? .... Ah'm too fuxxed tae get milk fae the local shoppie .... Pittodrie seems like a hunner miles awa!

Right noo tho .... it's cos Ah'm fkn skint!

So ... if ony o' you auld ****ers are gettin mairried, re-mairried or yer offspring, or the offspring o' yer offspring are needin a ceilidh band ... jist gizza shout ..... we dae divorces an' funerals as weel ... ken