Villa v Spurs-if Spurs fail to win, they can't catch us. I think Villa will do them

Chelsea v Forest-no effect on us but it'd be good to see Forest turn them over (won't happen-Chelsea win, I reckon)

Palace v Bournemouth-self proclaimed best fans in the world with their high and mighty anti-newcastle banners; Palace can get to fuck. I hope they fall off their moral high horse and it shits on them.

Man U v Wolves-depends which Wolves and which Man U turn up but would like to think Wolves can get a point (or, in media-speak, sneak a point)

Southampton v Fulham...have I ever cared less about a game of football?

Brentford v West Ham...the Hammers will have more than half an eye on their semi-final second leg but another game where the result has no bearing on us

Everton v Man City...we beat, I think, Boro, when we went down in 2008 and thought we'd turned the corner and would be safe (sound of big, incorrect answer gameshow buzzer). Hopefully last week was their Boro game and Everton get twatted within an inch of their Premier League existence

Ooohhh.....Arsenal v Brighton. Surely...surely this is a home win?? If Brighton lose and we win, Brighton can't catch us either.

Which brings us on to Leicester v Liverpool. In true time-served, traditional Newcastle-supporting, if it can go wrong it will, mindset, I look at that game and think 'oh, well Leicester are getting nowt out of that'...and then I look at our game against them and think 'man, they've got Maddison, Barnes, Tielemanns, etc, etc'

So who bloody knows!