Cambridge v Crawley, this is rich fare, served up by the Abbey chefs who take pride in their meals. It might as well be a spam sandwich and a glass of water.

Eat that Cambridge fans, Crawley. The red devils, more like the red weevils. And United, amber, wot duz amber stand for?, as far as uniteds interpretation is, its mediocrity, no quality, failure, embarrasment, footballing poverty.

That is all.