My mate ( a big lad ) changed his seat today , and went in the disabled Stand ( he has health issues ) he was sat next to a very large lady , who was constantly apple tarting , blocking people's view and swearing ,
My mate ( a big lad ) changed his seat today , and went in the disabled Stand ( he has health issues ) he was sat next to a very large lady , who was constantly apple tarting , blocking people's view and swearing ,
Well it wasn't me!
My mother in law ez that many folds of fat she uses a book mark to help her evva p1ss.
Bernard Manning 1976
I dread to think how that particular gentleman managed to empty his bladder. Some kind of string and pulley system or a vertically challenged assistant perhaps?
The dunt mekkem like Bernard ennimooar.
He cud tella jooak that lad. Ed me in stitches.
Once went to his club at Manchester. The Embassy. Worst night ever. You had to sup in a round of 8. 8 seats round table. Ash trays were realy for kitty. Waiters doubled as bouncers. Me and me mate were putting endings to all his jokes. After he'd finished compare said "right we're going to have a disco. Management would ask you not to dance" you couldn't make it up. Me. Me mate and some others had a walk down road to a few pubs. Rough as hell. And I mean rough. Made lundwood look like Las Vegas. Worst night worst comedian ever In my book.
Old Barnsley couple go self catering in Spain. Unpacking Mary sharts "Hey Albert, av forgotten to pack the Bisto. Knock on that dooar opposite and see if thev gorrenni".
Albert guz ovva and when dooar oppens he sez "Asta enni Bisto ?". Man sez to his wife, "Thuzza Spanish bloke at the door, can't understand him".
Bernard Manning
Overheard in Poundstretcher Barnsley yesterday...
Woman 1 : Worrav a come inear fo?
Woman 2 : Aaah dunt no
Woman 1 : Aaah dunt eethu