I don’t give a flying, land-based, or aqua fcuk.
I don’t get the anguish about it.
It’s not as if it’s a blue polyester nightmare with sewn-on swastikas and an image of Trump for a badge. It is a garment for the loaf of phuque. A bit of maroon in it is a bonus for we Maroons.
I use three criteria by which wearers may be permitted to don a fitba shirt:
- waist size <32”
- IQ < 99.12
- age < 30
I am fyucked on all three, naturally.


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