It has been said that the German language was developed solely for the speaker to be able to spit at people, under the guise of polite conversation.

So it is at the Abbey stadium next season, a Colliseum of crucifiction, whereby the fans are hoiked up, and told to enjoy it, while slowly dying from shock, boredom, and shock again, not from the nails, but from the gladiators on the pitch.

They will prance around like antelope running from loins, and will ask their opponents that they hope they are having a nice day. This is not a joke on my part, the club is WOKE.

The club are flooded by requests for season tickets, really, that old salesman trick.

The only concession to gaiety at the Abbey Stadium is a striped shroud hanging from the floodlights, and even then the Viva La Socialistas will try and sell that for ten pence.

This club is doomed, it will wither and droop, under the woke benevolence of Mr Barry and his cohorts, who wont rest until we are southern league, northern division.

We need a death so we can start again, free of the choking inadequacy of the past, we need new attitudes, energy, money, just about everything.

United will fail this season. They never saw it coming.

Nigel of Ferry Path.