Thee are a number of players-including some first-teamers-whose contracts expire at the end of the season. Who would you keep, who would you say thanks but see ya/piss off to.

Henri Saivet...but of a disaster, this fella. Not his fault but we've shelled out millions for very, very little return. Get rid.

Rolando Aarons-big shame because, when he first got some gametime, he looked promising but he never got beyond that. Get shot.

Christian Atsu-a symbol of our pathetically limited ambitions that we ever bought him. Mid-table Chimpo player at best. See ya.

Achraf Lazaar....I know next to nothing about him despite him being here a few years. Ta ra.

Ciaran Clark...hmm...well, we can't get rid of everyone on this list so maybe another year?

Andy Carroll-bad decision to bring him back, a worse decision to extend his contract so if they give him another one, they ant shooting with shit. He hasn't scored yet. he's a striker and he HASN'T SCORED! Get rid.

Dwight Gayle...nope. Chimpo striker (yes he had a purple patch after lockdown but that was at odds with almost everthing we've seen of him previously) Will be no surprise at all when we extend his contract but we really, really shouldn't.

Federico Fernandez-no beating about the bush here-he's our best defender by some stretch. Absolutely must keep him.

DeAndre Yedlin. Shit defender who's quick enough to sometimes cover up his own mistakes. Yes, he gets forward but is he any good when he gets there? No. Off you go.

Jacob Murphy...canny lad, nice family, works hard, cares...blah, blah, blah. Just not good enough, I'm afraid. Sorry-thanks but no thanks.

So....let me see...out of that lot, I'd have us keeping two central defenders.

Your go.