Dingle with his very best telephone voice "Can I have me money back please"

Receptionist "Certainly Sir. Just put you through to returns"

Returns Department"How may I help?"

Dingle "I want me money back"

Returns "OK sir what happened"

Dingle "Yow guaranteed to beat em"

Returns"Well certainly should beat. Can you tell me more what the problem is?

Dingle "After 9 years it all fell apart went wrong on Saturday"

"Sorry sir I don't think after 9 years we can accept a return"

"Ya saft hapeth. I da buy it 9 years agoo. I only bought your TV package last summa course I cor goo specially to see us beat those useless Boggies"

Returns "I sorry sir you have the wrong number. I think you want the Molineux this Moulinex"