Here is some f the stuff I have learnt over the years. Obviously the spectrum is huge so may or may not apply to your own situation.

Many on the spectrum have sensory issues which may inc noise/ bright lights/busy places/ textures of food or clothing. With clothing it can help to remove tags and with food many have a limited diet and eat only blander food with no "bits" in and will not tolerate different food stuffs touching on their plate (a common hate of parents of children on the spectrum is when the maker of a favourite food then launches a "new and improved" version that said child then refuses to eat!), Having a sensory "quiet" place is often of benefit and may inc soft lighting, gentle background music and ultra-soft furnishings, Think hippyish/New Age oil projector lamps and "sounds of nature" relaxation tapes. Sensory "fidgit" toys may also help with anxiety-but beware as anything labelled as a "sensory" aid generally means a stupid hike in price and you can often find similar products much cheaper.

Children on the spectrum can often be prone to melt-downs but this is mostly due to frustration and the fact that they do not have the language skills to communicate how they are feeling nor the ability yet to better process their emotions. I this regard, they are not unlike the temper tantrums of a normal 2 or 3 year old but they can last for much longer and, as they get older and physically stronger, they can present greater concerns for their own safety and that of others. As a rule, in boys, these meltdowns tend to get less as they enter their mid-late ****s as they learn to better process things. The key is to try and spot any triggers for these in advance to prevent the meltdown in the first place.

When giving instructions keep them short and to the point. Frustrating as it may be, if they have not done something you have asked them to, do not keep on at them requesting the same thing as this will just overwhelm them. Do not give multiple instructions at once either as this will just confuse them-eg "put your jumper on, oh and your coat because its cold outside-ad dont forget your bag!". Just one short instruction at a time and given in a calm voice.

Many children on the spectrum avoid eye contact which is seen as being "rude" but really it is because they find it hard to read body language and are simply concentrating on what is being said. Another typical aspergers trait is an inability to understand social nicities such as saying "please" or "thankyou" as they dont understand why they need to and, again, this is seen as being just rude. Those with aspergers may also fail to understand certain humour or jokes as they take things literally (think of characters like Star Trek's Mr Spock or Saga, the Swedish detective in The Bridge)

It is important to encourage them to build relationships and engage with people outside of the family (eg teachers/support workers) and to encourage them to do new things and go to different enviroments. You cannot force this, but with encouragement and the right stratergies, their confidence and social skills will improve.

Anyhow, hope some of this is useful and that I havent "taught you to suck eggs"!