I'll never forget the time one of the queens guards knocked on the door of my campervan early one summers evening whilst I was parked up close to the Balmoral Estate. Her Majesty said in a soft regal tone 'would it be possible if one could use your facilities? It's just I'm at that kind of age you see'

I broke the news that the chemical toilet system was actually full and there was quite simply 'no room at the inn'.

Off she went to find the nearest bush.

The toilet wasn't full, it's just you don't let anyone else use your campervan toilet. Gads!